User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 24

  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    Hopefully someone with some experience of a similar situation will respond, but I think you'll just have to be responsible for your own behaviour and put up with the consequences. I don't think there's a magic answer that will solve this.
    Probably. I don't think it will intellectually be puzzled out... especially because both of you have already shown that, while you tried to think through it all, you're both more responding just to the interaction and personal magnetism.

    So if you want to do that, great; but you need to accept any pitfalls that come along with and ride out the rough spots.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTp
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    PoLR = Point of Least Resistance?
    i dont know if mbti has similar concepts or not, but in socionics PoLR is defined as:

    The place of least resistance is your weakest function. It makes you uncomfortable, and can be tied to certain personality problems you have. You won't make an issue about this function, in fact you try to avoid it. Criticism in this point is felt the worst.

  3. #13
    seor member colmena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INXP
    Posts
    1,550

    Default

    Have you felt criticism?

    Let us know and we'll try to address it. Sorry if I've come across at all offensive in trying to cover the angles. I'm only trying to help.

    What's your plan of action with your man friend?
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  4. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTp
    Posts
    8

    Default

    ESTp's PoLR is Fi (introverted feeling) and my hidden agenda is to love (emotion). The reason I say he has hit is, is because I find him affecting my emotional state. I'm very aware of it because of him and I absolutley HATE basing my life on emotion instead of logic, so sometimes if he says something meaninglessly, I take it for something insulting, because I think he is being critical or judgemental...when in reality he just didnt use the right words to express himself.

    (I know his type is the Critic, but he never, ever, criticises me or I never feel ACTUAL criticism/scorn from him, its just my lack of intuition when it comes to his Ti that makes me have false conjectures sometimes)

    We've come to a stage, where he now recognizes that if he says something, and he thinks i will take it the wrong way he will automatically correct himself, or explain himself so that I would actually precieve it the way I can metabolize the information in the actual way it was meant.

    So in that sense, I think that I'm hitting his PoLR at the same time which is his Fe (extroverted feeling)...meaning he is becoming aware of my emotions (however slowly it is), which is very hard for INTps to do (usually they get better at it in mid life). All this, in turn (I believe) I think relates to his hidden agenda which is to be in a relationship.

  5. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTp
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    Sorry if I've come across at all offensive in trying to cover the angles. I'm only trying to help.
    No, I do not find you to be offensive at all. I actually appriciate whatever you have to say, whether it be in my favour or not, it will just help me in the long run. So thank you for that.
    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    What's your plan of action with your man friend?
    At the moment, honestly, I dont know. I care about him a lot, but I am leaving the military (we are both military) and moving back home to go to school which is two hrs away.

    I have three weeks left before I leave, so my mentality is enjoy it while I can, and then keep in touch. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep that mentality because the more time I spend with him, the more I want to be with him.

    I am flabberghasted almost by the situation, because I do not feel things this intesnly for most people. In fact, I am pretty indifferent to most emotions, and think they are a setback. I don't like relationships, and i have a serious fear of commitment. HOWEVER, I would honestly put all my fears aside and try with this man because when I think about me leaving and things ending as they are now...Its almost as though there's this tragic ending in a movie. It kind of reminds me of the movie Before Sunrise...it's pertty pathetic, if you'd told me I'd of felt this way 2-3 months ago I would have laughed in your face. AHHHH freakin PoLR.

    So anyways, my plan of action is to just go with the flow until my time here is up. I will not decline to date other people during the course of three weeks while im here, because he clearly stated that he doesnt want a relationship earlier, and I understand that completely. However, I have needs too and I am not gonna pass up a possibly wonderful opertunity just because my head is stuck up my ass being head over heels for a guy who cannot fully reciprocate my feelings. I will not sleep with other people, because its just not how I roll, I dont usually care, but when I have feelings for someone I cannot fuck around.

    I still have to mention however, even though he says he cannot be in a relationship, he exhibitis traist, even at times jelaousy, or almost an inquisitive nature when I am being indifferent about spending time with him. (which is just my way of being indisposable to him at all times)

  6. #16
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post
    ESTp's PoLR is Fi (introverted feeling) and my hidden agenda is to love (emotion). The reason I say he has hit is, is because I find him affecting my emotional state. I'm very aware of it because of him and I absolutley HATE basing my life on emotion instead of logic, so sometimes if he says something meaninglessly, I take it for something insulting, because I think he is being critical or judgemental...when in reality he just didnt use the right words to express himself.
    That makes sense. I don't like feeling out of control emotionally either, when my brain knows that nothing was probably meant by something; I like the sense of being engaged but still detached and not under thrall of the emotion state.

    We've come to a stage, where he now recognizes that if he says something, and he thinks i will take it the wrong way he will automatically correct himself, or explain himself so that I would actually precieve it the way I can metabolize the information in the actual way it was meant.
    That's a large positive in the sense of his intentions towards you, especially since some people like him would just expect you to "buck up" and not bother to tailor their comments in a way that was constructive. It's also a big sign of his ability to communicate, which is necessary for any LTR.

    So in that sense, I think that I'm hitting his PoLR at the same time which is his Fe (extroverted feeling)...meaning he is becoming aware of my emotions (however slowly it is), which is very hard for INTps to do (usually they get better at it in mid life).
    Well, Fe is not just emotions, it's the relational commitments involved in the interaction and respecting those boundaries (or breaking them) to "signal" to the other person(s) your own level of commitment and place in that community/relationship.

    INTPs might perceive the emotions, but they usually also have a problem with seeing the Fe language as pointless or silly or inconsequential... so even when they're aware of it, there can be a tendency to be insensitive because they do not inwardly give it legitimacy.

    The fact he is working to engage you in a way that affirms your unique nature is, again, a positive sign that he at least sees your concerns as legitimate.

    Still, he's probably afraid of signaling more commitment to you than he might be able to handle and would rather stay aloof if possible. That's the weakness: Speaking "Fe" is uncomfortable because of the promises it inherently makes and thus the obligations it creates. Ti does not want to be bound by seemingly arbitrary relational agreements, it needs freedom to cut to the core of the situation at hand.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #17
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    3,198

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post

    I still have to mention however, even though he says he cannot be in a relationship, he exhibitis traist, even at times jelaousy, or almost an inquisitive nature when I am being indifferent about spending time with him. (which is just my way of being indisposable to him at all times)
    He is just being a dude; do not read too much into it. It is not an INTP trait in particular.
    As for your plan, it could backfire if you end up getting more involved emotionally. If you think you are capable of cutting things off after fully enjoying it while you can, go for it, but do not delude yourself into thinking you can if you really cannot.
    You could use the time to distance yourself as well . . . not cold turkey necessarily, but wean yourself off. I would even say it is better if you could distance while being around him, so as not to create this instant dramatic pressure from wanting to see him, but denying yourself. If you can hack it that is.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  8. #18
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTp
    Posts
    8

    Default

    I'm very good at moving past people. It takes me a couple days and I'm fine, sometimes less than that...depending on the depth of the relationship, friendship etc. It doesn't take much for me to move on.

    Especially if the person is not worthy of having my further time/interest. Something has to be equally lucerative for me in order for me to consider involoving myself into the next level so to speak.

  9. #19
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTp
    Posts
    8

    Default

    I hate to admit it, but I'm in love.

  10. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Just providing another (maybe nonsensical) point of view here, do you think he may be lying when he says he doesn't want a relationship right now, and is just saying that to see if you're serious about it, since he just left a relationship and may have difficulty with self-esteem and his ability to hold on to somebody.

    His being withdrawn may also have something to do with trying to stop things from escalating deeper while being confused about his self-esteem, so when you in turn withdraw he tries to draw you back?

    Perhaps you can talk to him about his feelings or his past relationship to find out more.

    I'm just conjecturing though.

Similar Threads

  1. [ESTP] ESTP Questions (Alot)
    By Cryonium in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-05-2013, 04:00 AM
  2. [INTP] Questions for INTP Women
    By Redbud in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 05-20-2012, 04:13 PM
  3. [INTP] Question for INTP females..
    By Eiddy in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 05-31-2009, 09:23 AM
  4. [ESTP] a question for ESTP's
    By Penguin in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-25-2008, 03:45 AM
  5. [INTP] Question for INTPs
    By Sunshine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-22-2008, 04:19 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO