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  1. #1
    Junior Member IDreamtIWasABee's Avatar
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    Default Why do INTJs spare INFPs their wrath?

    This is more accurately titled "Three Questions About INTJs and INFPs," but if it's stylish, it's forgiven, amirite? (I know. "No.")

    So. First. Why are the INFP's frequent lapses in logic and extreme over-tenderness given a pass (or even found endearing) when most other types aren't given that compliment (those poor ESFJs-oh, you're merciless to them!)? Is it the ease with which we change our minds while thinking out loud? Because your feuds with INTPs are legendary, and INFJs don't usually talk about deep subjects until they've already formed firm opinions.

    Second, do you find our shameless sharing of shy-person-feelings to be tranquilizing when you're stressed? I know that an INTJ's calm, succinct stating of facts has calmed me immediately when I've been seriously worked up over stuff (you certainly calm things down over on the NF board).

    And third, has it been your experience that INTJs and INFPs share an intelligent but offensive sense of humor?

    Oh! Fourth and final. Has an INFP ever come to your defense? Usually it's you guys protecting us (and I know the INTJs in my life sometimes find it trying), but when my INTJ friends are off balance and attacked, I go into a Gohan rage that I'd otherwise be waaay too shy and inhibited to express.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    It could be to do with the fact that the INFP's dominant function is Fi, which is the inner child/relief function of the INTJ. Usually INTJs utilize Fi as a way to escape reality, and since it is in the tertiary slot (the child archetype of our personality), it reflects the innocent child-like nature of our emotional world. Therefore, (and I don't know any INFPs in real life, so I can't back this up with any hard evidence) INFPs (being Fi-doms) might remind INTJs of their innocent, child-like tertiary and might make them more kind and friendly to INFPs.

    Every ESFJ I have ever known in real life has royally pissed me off just by making their presence known, that's why they don't get a break.
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  3. #3
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    Every ESFJ I have ever known in real life has royally pissed me off just by making their presence known, that's why they don't get a break.
    ESFJs seem to expect the world to become more like them, or at least to do thing their way. INFPs, on the other hand, aren't pushy this way and seem content being themselves and letting others do the same. This is far more palatable to most INTJs.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #4
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDreamtIWasABee View Post
    (those poor ESFJs-oh, you're merciless to them!)
    *psst* it's not just INTJs - it's the whole internet.

    ISFJs get more of a break though. I guess since there are probably more Is on the web than Es, ISFJs get cut some slack because introversion makes them fit in more so they might get to sit at the cool kids' table.

    I've also never heard of this phenomenon before. I think INTJs (like any other type...or human being) spare their "wrath" from the people they get along more positively with. Maybe, as a general tendency, INTJs get along better with NFPs than they do SFJs.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so

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  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I have an INTJ daughter and an INFP daughter. Generally INTJ lets things slide with INFP because the emotional fallout isn't worth it. However, when the INTJ lowers the boom, there is no question that the boom has been lowered.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    It could be to do with the fact that the INFP's dominant function is Fi, which is the inner child/relief function of the INTJ. Usually INTJs utilize Fi as a way to escape reality, and since it is in the tertiary slot (the child archetype of our personality), it reflects the innocent child-like nature of our emotional world. Therefore, (and I don't know any INFPs in real life, so I can't back this up with any hard evidence) INFPs (being Fi-doms) might remind INTJs of their innocent, child-like tertiary and might make them more kind and friendly to INFPs.

    Every ESFJ I have ever known in real life has royally pissed me off just by making their presence known, that's why they don't get a break.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    1. JCF* isn't that accurate for determining relationship patterns, love who you want based on who they are, not a 4 digit code, but if you are an INTp (INTJ) in Socionics (a JCF system more revolving around interpersonal relations with different definitions for functions) then ESFp (ESFP) is your dual and ENFp (ENFP) is your illusionary (one of the worst interpersonal relationships possible in Socionics).

    2. I don't see any preferences for cognitive functions excepting the "weird, zany, wildly creative" that hints at Ne but could easily apply to any Pe dominant.

    * Jungian Cognitive Functions
    How does this explain INTJ distaste for ExFPs? Is is just I-types they get along with?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nihilogen View Post
    How does this explain INTJ distaste for ExFPs? Is is just I-types they get along with?
    (What I am discussing here is Jungian function archetypes; in Socionics, the function definitions are altered into strange categorizations like dynamic or static, et al.)

    The INTp is a dual with the ESFp, and that is generally the happiest, long-lasting relationship, so there is no distaste there. In fact, usually in dual relations, the INTp often feels as though they aren't good enough for the ESFp due to the fact that Extroverted dual pairs don't recognize their introverted dual unless they converse with them often.

    For ENFp-INTp, the relation is illusionary, explained in this quote.

    These are relations of growing laziness. There are no other intertype relations that can deactivate partners so much as Illusionary relations. Illusionary partners find it comfortable being relaxed together, discussing different subjects. What one partner is talking about is always interesting, but in order to understand the partner better the other partner needs to force themselves. This difficulty in making an effort also makes achieving goals together almost impossible.

    Mutual business or other activity is complicated, because Illusionary partners do not understand the reasons and motives of each other's actions. Whatever one partner tries to achieve usually appears insufficient and worthless to the other. Because partners expect different kinds of activity from each other, they become negative and may criticise each other's intentions and objectives. For an observer, this misunderstanding between partners can appear to be humorous.

    The introvert partner usually tries to free themselves from the attempts of the extrovert partner to impose their opinions. The introverts seek independence. The extrovert partner wants to make their introvert partner into what they consider to be a "normal person". Both partners are distrustful of each other abilities.

    Disagreements in these relations are usually short because partners are drawn to each other. From time to time Illusionary relations become really warm and caring. It normally happens when partners work together but not on the same task. Partners may feel inspired with the result of a successfully finished project, however when they try to start a new project, they again meet the same difficulties in co-operation.

  8. #8
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    conclusion i've gotten from this thread, because *we* INFPs are fucking adorable to INTJs
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #9
    Butterfly Amargith's Avatar
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    You missed the part where they are fucking adorable to us NFPs as well with their teenage Fi

    Basically Te fights with Fe and Ni fights with Si. Meanwhile tertiary Fi gets to enjoy the guidance of dominant Fi, while baby Te gets to be pampered by big brother Te.

    Ne and Ni tend to be best buds in a partner-in-crime type of way, so...yup.


    The only time I have trouble handling my INTJ is when he goes into Se-mode, as it triggers my Si-mode. Since they're both inferior functions, it tends to make him feel restrained and nagged at by me,while I feel like I have to be the damned adult and don't know how to respond in any way but with cynical remarks to snap him out of it already and return back to normal. It's weird being the cynical one, and it's not pretty on me. I'm..working on that
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    "Be careful what you believe, because that is the world you'll create - Cassie Nightingale
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  10. #10
    Riva
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    I have noticed this too between intjs - nfps.

    Could it be because they are non threatening?

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