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[MBTI General] Why do INTJs spare INFPs their wrath?

Qlip

Post Human Post
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Jul 30, 2010
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8,464
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ENFP
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Please note, I'm not at all cute or fluffy or snuggy. That's the INFP cliche.
On the outside, my INTP female friend and I are very similar. She and I both tend to be quiet, and seem a little cerebral.

I actually know an INTJ/INFP couple. She, the INFP, will put the hammer down and make the INTJ deal with feelings when necessary. She's tends towards the sarcastic and dark, has this strange way of getting into your guts, and I felt like I was spared a reaming when I flaked on her once. 4w5
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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While I can't verify whether the premise of thread is correct, I can see the INTJ's tertiary Fi providing an inward link to the Fi-Dom. It could enable more understanding than from other types.

I'm close to an older woman who is extremely INTJ and she shares with me her "soft center" which is completely Fi. Her motives tend to be pure even though her exterior is intimidating and based on Te. My connection to her somewhat simulates that Fi connection.
 

Jade Heart

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Aug 10, 2015
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49
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INTP
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5w6
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sp
Please note, I'm not at all cute or fluffy or snuggy. That's the INFP cliche.
On the outside, my INTP female friend and I are very similar. She and I both tend to be quiet, and seem a little cerebral.

I know, I was joking. Sorry if I offended you with that. I only meant that the INFPS I knew were mostly as I described.
 

xenaprincess

Well-known member
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Oct 7, 2011
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5,195
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infp
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6w5
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I know, I was joking. Sorry if I offended you with that. I only meant that the INFPS I knew were mostly as I described.

Not offended at all, just stating my opinion :)
 

sassyluver

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Nov 15, 2015
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7
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INFP
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4w3
Hi, I just want to share something about this forum's topic. I am an INFP and I have a dad who is an INTJ, as to what I have observed, my daddy always have this soft spot to me and always want to spoil me. I have an older brother (ENFP) and an older sister (INFJ), daddy loved them too and also spoils them but not as he spoils me. And when my mommy (ISFJ) gets angry at me (of course xD) Dad would always come to me to the rescue xD And I also have a friend of mine who is an INTJ male, he also have a soft spot to me. So what does INTJs see INFPs like me? :shock: Sorry, I can't read the previous posts xD Spare me!!! 😀😀😀
 

magpie

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I agree that sometimes communication with INTJs can be an excercise in futility. At some point I know they aren't going to consider all the possibilities, or even aren't willing to take all possibilities equally seriously. And they can't recognize (admit?) that two or more contradictory ideas can exist at once, and still remain truthful.
 

supersleuth

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Personally, my sister is an INFP and is so emotionally fragile and idolizes me so much that I hardly ever desire to get angry at her. Plus, she feels like I'm the only person in the world who understands her and it would tear her up if I were to be outwardly displeased with her.
 

Felix5

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INTJ
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Feud with INTPs? I really quite like INTPs and INFJs, I find that both bring interesting discussions to the table. They are one of the few types that actually think deeply, well INFPs and INFJs more so. INTPs seem more interested in concrete subjects. I don't typically spare anyone my wrath because I don't have any wrath to give. It's kind of a misunderstanding that INTJs are always angry, if anything we are very passive, quiet people. The only time we are ever "aggressive" is when we are seeking or trying to point out a truth or untruth. Any other case may be due to someone pushing our buttons more than we can stand.

If an INFP says something that isn't truthful, I will point it out. I don't care how upset it makes them. Sorry, the truth is not going to change because you feel bad. I try to do it in a tactful and calm manner, sometimes INFPs can be a rash. Something may set them off and you will never be able to shut them up. Best approach is to simply shut up completely and let them rant. They will eventually realize what an idiot they're coming across as and apologize. For the most part though, I find them much easier to bounce ideas off of. They're open minded and accepting of facts. They can be sentimental but they can push it aside for the sake of looking at something in a different way. This ability to look at something from all angles, gives them this ability to accept another point of view.

Ironically, one thing that bothers me about INFPs is the fact that they always have to play the devil's advocate while having a discussion. I don't really care how the other side feels, I care about what is true v what isn't true. Many times they want to try and put themselves in the shoes of everyone, this is how the try to find the truth. I find this interesting because it suggests that they share a common goal with INTJs. They are seeking truth and I think we can bond and discuss things in ease due to this quality.

I find INFPs much easier to talk to than any other type. For one thing they actually listen to my points and seem to take them sincerely. ENTPs are pretty much interested in talking mostly about themselves, if you actually get a chance to say five words it's a miracle. I love you guys, but damn...every time I start a conversation it ends up in 90 different places to the point where all of my arguments are off topic.

ENFPs are all about taking sides, which tends to take the discussion into wing but territory.

ENFJs are also all about taking sides, especially if it comes to causes. ENTJs are usually pretty easy to talk to, but I wouldn't say they're very good for the kind of depth you'd get from an INFJ or and INFP.

SJs and STs....LOL don't even get me started....occasionally an ISFJ or ISFP is willing to listen to your crazy ideas, usually because they are a close friend and know you to be level headed.\

INFJs tend to be very wishy washy and if you don't agree with them, then they don't seem to get much out of the conversation. It could run in circles for days until you're stuck in an endless loop. They seem to understand your point, but respectfully disagree. I find that they will go as deep as INTJs will into an issue and can analyze patterns fairly well. The one thing that may be lacking would be facts, stats, and data. Overall, I enjoy talking to them because the conversation could end up anywhere. They seem unafraid to delve into certain subjects others wouldn't even think of.

INTPs are interested in concrete subjects, facts, statistics, but they are not always going to analyze those statistics in the same way an INTJ or INFJ would because they don't see patterns in the same way. So they may try to argue against your point, regardless of whether or not it's true. The two may butt heads over this, but it rarely ever happens. Usually we tend to be on the same page because we are generally collecting the same data and stats. Oddly enough, we may actually agree with each other, but because we're coming from two different places, we can't see it. So there's a pointless argument for no reason...

INTJs are most interested in what is true v what is not true. It has nothing to do with feelings or even rationality. I know INTJs are always claiming to be rational, but what we really want is the truth. If someone says something that we know to be untrue or worse, tries to spread this untruth, we are on their ass faster than white on rice.
 

Bilateral Entry

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i'm a sweetheart and everybody loves me, i dunno wut y'all r talking about
 

RosieJones

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We aren't illogical! I hate when people call us this it's so belittling and I feel like I'm being dismissed.
 

Poki

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We aren't illogical! I hate when people call us this it's so belittling and I feel like I'm being dismissed.

il·log·i·cal

/i(l)ˈläjək(ə)l/

adjective
adjective: illogical

lacking sense or clear, sound reasoning.

In all honesty, if you don't dig down into the deeper underlying root and run off of feeling as if its just true then you will always be illogical. Possibly you are being dismissed because the person who sees this believes you dismissed finding a sense of clear or sound reasoning...but without that reasoning, its illogical due to the lack of clear or sound reasoning. Its sad because T actually supports F just as much as it can fight it. Logic is a complicated and funny beast that interleaves with data to create logical statements.

To top it off people frequently use statistics to define logical and illogical when logic is more of as true/false without the "probably" or "more then likely" qualifier. Then they have to "correct themselves because what they said was not really logical. My anal side of logic and logical. It makes a huge difference when it comes to reality.
 

RosieJones

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In all honesty, if you don't dig down into the deeper underlying root and run off of feeling as if its just true then you will always be illogical. Possibly you are being dismissed because the person who sees this believes you dismissed finding a sense of clear or sound reasoning...but without that reasoning, its illogical due to the lack of clear or sound reasoning. Its sad because T actually supports F just as much as it can fight it. Logic is a complicated and funny beast that interleaves with data to create logical statements.

To top it off people frequently use statistics to define logical and illogical when logic is more of as true/false without the "probably" or "more then likely" qualifier. Then they have to "correct themselves because what they said was not really logical. My anal side of logic and logical. It makes a huge difference when it comes to reality.

True I am a feeler but why I feel something and what I choose to do about it isn't illogical. I think being logical doesn't depend on mbti type. It depends on the individual. I can experience emotion very intensely but I always let myself cool off before I make any decisions on it.

Also I just feel like I'm being dismissed on forums like this, where INFPs are described as illogical by Ts mainly. It frustrates me because they just make this huge generalisation about a type. I don't think types are illogical. Individuals are. They never give examples either of when INFPs are illogical but just make this general gesture that they are it's no evidence. That is illogical. Even if they had evidence of one INFP who said something illogical, that doesn't represent all INFPs.
 

Lia_kat

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Just want to mention I love my INTJ friend<3 We can talk about anything with no filter and laugh for hours. I agree that they have a great respect for people they genuinely like and trust.
 

Dolce vita

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Good point to poster! My boss is INTJ and hard for me to deal with but he loves the INFP employee. Ive noticed if I 'tone it down' and slow it down to mirror the INFP my boss likes it. Ha! See, I'm learning!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

ChimericalSerenity

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Speaking from experience, I've caught myself being uncharacteristically lenient with my INFP friend on various occasions. Of course, there are times when her fatalistic mindset and lack of motivation frustrate me to no end and I have to stop myself in from offering her unnecessary advice (especially when she's just trying to let off some steam), but I know she's just trying her best, bless her heart. She's also such a kind person and has repeatedly surprised me with heartfelt gestures, so I can never stay mad at her for very long.

Also, since INFPs aren't particularly judgmental, despite how different we are, she's quite accepting of our differences and tries her hardest to see things from my perspective. God knows I try to do the same, but I aware that I don't do a very good job at it. I can unwittingly offend her at times because of how blunt I am, and as a person who's quick to anger and easily irritated, she has to deal with my choleric temperament which is a handful in itself. I'm not the most attentive friend in the world, and she definitely tries her hardest to be, so I try to make it up to her by being lenient.

And her affections for me are really apparent, which I find adorable as hell, heh. :)
 

Maou

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I don't get along with INFP, but I do tend to get along with INFJ. This is probably more due to my insecurities.

To me, INFP are weak willed, and it irritates are core aversion I have.. INFP are mostly not willing to compromise in a discussion about certain topics relating to empathy. No matter what logical arguments, its against the grain of their nature, and forces them to confront uncomfortable reality. I don't avoid them, I just know it's a lost cause most of the time to debate them. I do sometimes try to explain logical things with emotional analogies that is sometimes sucessful.
 

Amberiat

Infinity
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INFPs are generally much more analytical and even more intellectual than people give them credit for, they are perfect for providing intellectual stimulation and their usually soft exterior/tough interior dynamic makes them very appealing to people who can see behind the curtain and appreciate their valuable knowledge and altruistic ideas/beliefs. Of course that's just a generalization, people and situations vary.
 

notmyapples

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sp/so
I think INTJs are the least likely of the thinkers to look down on the type of intelligence that INFPs possess.
 
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