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Thread: Why do INTJs spare INFPs their wrath?

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    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    haha maybe to you. the main takeaways from INTJ NFP compatibility discussions seem to be ENFP=very very good + INFP=very very bad. i have definitely come across some positive INFP-INTJ from the INTJ side but they aren't that common. i suppose it makes sense... INFPs and INTJs are both pretty introverted introverts and i can see how for that reason and others, communication might break down.
    But that just points back to the OP's question: if we dislike INFPs so much, why DO we spare them our wrath? They're just not worth the effort???
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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    Senior Member Array lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    But that just points back to the OP's question: if we dislike INFPs so much, why DO we spare them our wrath? They're just not worth the effort???
    my point is that INTJs DON'T spare INFPs their wrath... i've seen plenty of INTJ wrath directed at INFPs. maybe not lots of 'wrath' exactly, but certainly many expressions of dislike/hate/endless frustration. i think most types are pretty 'meh' about INFPs or strongly dislike/are frustrated with us.

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    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    my point is that INTJs DON'T spare INFPs their wrath... i've seen plenty of INTJ wrath directed at INFPs. maybe not lots of 'wrath' exactly, but certainly many expressions of dislike/hate/endless frustration. i think most types are pretty 'meh' about INFPs or strongly dislike/are frustrated with us.
    I see. I have known only a few people that I can identify as INFP with any certainty, and have liked both of them. I do have the sense with both, however, that I was never able to convey that in a way that they could understand, or that made a difference to them. I had an interesting discussion early in my relationship with the first that did clear the air considerably. Somehow just my manner of expression was very off-putting to her, and she seemed quite reassured by my making the effort to explain why I said things the way I did and what I meant by things she didn't understand.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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    Senior Member Array lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I see. I have known only a few people that I can identify as INFP with any certainty, and have liked both of them. I do have the sense with both, however, that I was never able to convey that in a way that they could understand, or that made a difference to them. I had an interesting discussion early in my relationship with the first that did clear the air considerably. Somehow just my manner of expression was very off-putting to her, and she seemed quite reassured by my making the effort to explain why I said things the way I did and what I meant by things she didn't understand.
    //

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    Senior Member Array lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I see. I have known only a few people that I can identify as INFP with any certainty, and have liked both of them. I do have the sense with both, however, that I was never able to convey that in a way that they could understand, or that made a difference to them. I had an interesting discussion early in my relationship with the first that did clear the air considerably. Somehow just my manner of expression was very off-putting to her, and she seemed quite reassured by my making the effort to explain why I said things the way I did and what I meant by things she didn't understand.
    yeah, i think INFP-INTJ is a complicated relationship! you don't hear too many INTJs raving about us but there are definitely lots of INFPs in long term relationships with INTJs... i suppose the key is for the INFPs to communicate more frequently, develop a bit of a thicker skin + for the INTJ to be mindful of tone + listen to the ways in which the iNFP says they want to be supported
    Likes chubber, xenaprincess liked this post

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    Junior Member Array Himeko009's Avatar
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    I don't have sure I'm INTJ or INTP (I always get INTJ in tests, but I'm starting to learn the functions. I identify very much with Te/Fi, but I'm not sure in Nx/Sx) and I like INFP. It's like a more sensible and naïve parte of me.
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    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    haha maybe to you. the main takeaways from INTJ NFP compatibility discussions seem to be ENFP=very very good + INFP=very very bad. i have definitely come across some positive INFP-INTJ from the INTJ side but they aren't that common. i suppose it makes sense... INFPs and INTJs are both pretty introverted introverts and i can see how for that reason and others, communication might break down.
    H'mmmph. I'm offended. (The key is that for INTJ - anything to work, the INTJ has to come out of their shell.)
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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    Sugar Hiccup Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    my point is that INTJs DON'T spare INFPs their wrath... i've seen plenty of INTJ wrath directed at INFPs. maybe not lots of 'wrath' exactly, but certainly many expressions of dislike/hate/endless frustration. i think most types are pretty 'meh' about INFPs or strongly dislike/are frustrated with us.
    I haven't seen nor experienced this, in person or online.

    Most of the opinions expressed about INFPs are just very reductive. I think they are based more on what they imagine the profiles to look like rather than real experience with INFPs. I think the real experiences may frustrate them because we're not as simple as they imagined us to be. They want to insist really hard how we're simplistic, sentimental pushovers, and then when that's not what they get they are annoyed that they don't know what to make of us and thus, they don't know how to deal with us.

    That's the big problem I encounter in life - people don't know how to categorize me, and that can result in a negative dismissal early on. People aren't comfortable with stuff they cannot easily categorize, because they need to order reality so they can navigate it, and they want to do that ASAP and as easily as possible. This is most common with J types, but it's a human thing in general. xxFPs are possibly the least likely to do it, but even we fall into the very trap we may despise and find limiting.
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    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    ^ Not explicitly about INTJ wrath, but I experience this "surprise I am not what you thought" too, though I think it also has to do with me generally being warm and fuzzy and relaxed until I feel like they have crossed an ethical boundary. Then I can very suddenly show my icy and stubborn and calculating side. I don't think people tend to realize that side is there and I think it suddenly appearing sort of freaks them out. I used to have a lot of fun with it when I was a child and I wouldn't let on that I was paying wayyy more attention than adults would assume.

    INTJs are probably actually better at dealing with all this than most, though. I think all the IxxJ types have a little extra insight in this realm, since they seem to get a good sense of "how things really are" internally. Curiously, I feel like in my life, ENFPs are the ones it has displeased the most.

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    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Hi chubber,

    I've seen you around the forum but I don't specifically recall that we've spoken before.
    Hail and well met!

    ...would you be kind enough to tell me, please, the source of the most interesting quote in your post 43 this thread? --> http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post2338582
    I'd like to read its description of INTJs with other types as well.

    Thanks!
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

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