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  1. #31
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Is it impossible for a person to be honest and straightforward, while being very tactful in the delivery at the same time?.
    Possible, but very difficult. Because in order to be candid, you need to say things people will not want to hear. It is okay to say them in as gentle of a fashion as possible, you are still candid at that point. However, it is not acceptable (from the standpoint of candor-centered thinking), to change the content of your message in order to avoid displeasing the recipient.



    In my opinion, (as I have argued how candor conduces to greater harmony), being forthright is more important than momentary sensitivity. The end to sensitive behavior is establishing long-term harmony. This is not possible if the relationship contains defects which are ignored (because we keep on editing out the part of our message that cites such defects, in order to avoid hurting feelings).

    In some cases it is acceptable to have a defective relationship (E.G, acquaintances, work related, and in certain cases of friendships), where you would be able to allow the defects to remain. In those cases you can forego the directness and just be 'sensitive'. As given how insignificant that association tends to be, it probably isn't worth the trouble fixing the relationship. As to be clearly noted, you can get all you'd want from the relationship whilst having it defective. A perfect example of this would be an acquaintance or a co-worker, with whom you do not require a high-level of harmony.

    But again, bottom line: if you want your relationships to work on a profound level (which many NFs do), you must put candor ahead of momentary sensitivity. Failure to do so, in my opinion is the main reason why many Fs are dissatisfied with their intimate relationships.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  2. #32
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by murkrow View Post
    Erm, it's not arbitrary to assign knowledge of intended meaning to the person who spoke.
    That's the point. You're assigning your interpretation of intent on someone else, which you are clearly quite poor at. You seem to to have no concept of how to view anyone else's perspective, or at least allowing their opinions to be valid regardless of whether or not you agree with them. I don't know who died and made you Pope, but unless you can find a way to apply purely mathematical laws of correct and incorrect to social interactions, then you're just going to have to deal with the fact that a vast majority of the things going on in the world are colored in shades of gray, not black and white.


    Quote Originally Posted by murkrow View Post
    I don't see how helping girls to display their looks better is immature.
    And why are you an expert? You go to design school? Somehow I doubt it.

    Consider that the most famous designers are men who treat women like they're gorgeous in their many forms, not objects with flaws on them that need to be corrected tuit suite. You find women's flaws irritating because you have to look at them , not because you're trying to be edifying.

  3. #33
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I don't know who died and made you Pope, but unless you can find a way to apply purely mathematical laws of correct and incorrect to social interactions, then you're just going to have to deal with the fact that a vast majority of the things going on in the world are colored in shades of gray, not black and white.
    I do not know whats going on, but I bet if you spent enough time to build a formula, you can even catch the grey and white scales. Or was your post more directed towards free will vs causality ?

    Murkow had a post there, with a hot girl. He obviously did do something wrong. Well now we can go thinking about how he did it wrong or we can think about how to get that hot girl's ass laid xD.

    I mean, who is the man !!!!!!!??????? *cough*
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #34
    Senior Member Sling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by liquid View Post
    Murkrow, there is a time and a place for speaking objectively. And you don't do it to a female friend about her genetic appearances if you want to keep her as a friend. I think you severely miscalculated the balance of a point being proven and the worth of that point being proven.
    On the social side of the matter, this might bring her closer. Especially to an ENTJ guy. I've seen them in action with women. It's almost like a push-pull effect. Push her 2 paces out, pull her in 4 when you have her off guard and vulnerable with witty humour and/or domineering charm.

    On the rational side, yes, the critique was wasted.

  5. #35
    figsfiggyfigs
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    ^ what females(type) has this worked on?!?!?! O_O

    I would loath a man like that, but that's just me...

  6. #36
    Pumpernickel
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    CHARMANDER?

    You call yourself CHARMANDER??

  7. #37
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sling View Post
    On the social side of the matter, this might bring her closer. Especially to an ENTJ guy. I've seen them in action with women. It's almost like a push-pull effect. Push her 2 paces out, pull her in 4 when you have her off guard and vulnerable with witty humour and/or domineering charm.

    On the rational side, yes, the critique was wasted.
    Ive seen this in action with the only ENTJ male I know (who happens to be really unhealthy). For some reason this works for him on all the hottest but also sweetest girls around. WHY

  8. #38
    figsfiggyfigs
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    ^ I've seen it happen too, it blows my mind away... One of my best-friends for once. It pisses the hell out of me... ><

    They don't see what is wrong with a man behaving that way.

    You're also right , I noticed that it's usually " unhealthy" ENTJ's that attempt this.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    this has nothing to do with entj... its just pure poor social skills.
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  10. #40
    Senior Member JHBowden's Avatar
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    I thought the title made no sense... until I glanced at the OP.

    Abra, screw you for making such a crappy thread!

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