- First, the hypochondria. I assumed prior to this that I was really just neurotic and cowardly or something. No one else has these weird bodily perceptions. Then I read about Si-inf and knew they were calling my name. I'm really glad there's an explanation for this, actually, and I've discovered that when I start "over-feeling" some symptom, there's usually an unmet physical need that I've repressed from consciousness.
- Second, going along with the above, I can be really unaware of my body. I wind up with random bruises where I've walked into something, I just can't remember what.
I sometimes am aware that I feel "bad" without knowing just what's wrong. It's like how Victorian women were prohibited from mentioning body parts and doctors were uncomfortable with examining them, so if a woman had a lump in her breast, menstrual problems, a broken thigh bone, or whatever, she'd have to resort to "My stomach hurts". It's like that for me. I'm vaguely aware that something is wrong in my body, so I'll be like, "My stomach hurts, I'm nauseous", even if that's not strictly true when I stop to observe myself. It's my default way of perceiving a problem in my body.
- I'm weirdly good at remembering things, but they tend to be details that were impressed upon me subjectively. I tend to think I'm better at this than I really am and others always correct me as to the context of my memory. I'll remember that the cafe was on the left, up some stairs, and they had tofu on a plate with pink and green birds...and then I'll totally forget when that was or how to get there (making this capacity somewhat worthless).
- I'm pretty much the stereotype of a Perceiver--messy, disorganized, and unaware that I'm messy and disorganized.
- I'm often oblivious to my environment. I moved into an apartment across from a welders' and after about a week totally became impervious to the drilling and sawing and welding all day.
- I am capable of pretty much anything, but when presented with paperwork I tend to have full-fledged meltdowns. Even the simple Arrival Cards you get in airports make we want to implode. Name? Nationality? Gender? Noooo. This is like some sort of insurmountable task.
- Unless my interest is totally gripped, I can't read. I stop to think every 5 words because everything brings out associations that need to be explored. It can be really hard to refocus on the reading. I don't have ADD or anything, but I do have trouble getting hooked on what's right in front of me.
- When I go on a "bad" loop, I start thinking that my future is going to suck because of all the bad things that have happened to me in the past. I become extremely depressed, because it's a clear and depressing trend that's been unfolding all my life and it's ONLY NOW that I've managed to decode the pattern. My past sucked, therefore so will my future = LOGIC.
- When things don't go according to my Ne-vision, I can go on a bad loop, or I can simply become frustrated, rejecting, and childish and wind up shooting my efforts in the foot by burning bridges and just doing something new and unrelated. Usually, it's some idiotic detail that derails me. Example: I was going to visit some ancient monuments, and because the park was so large, I knew I had to start early. I had determined that the monument in question had to be visited by 10 am in order for me to see the rest of it. I got lost, and by 11 am I still hadn't seen the monument. Now a non-Si-inferior person might just try to compress or retool their plans...but I got all torqued out. This was THE END OF THE WORLD. I had to see the monument by TEN AM DAMMIT. All else was an exercise in futility!! My perception shifted; suddenly nothing was good enough and the whole dumb plan wasn't going to work anyway. I jumped ship and just went to visit another city.
Anyway, those are some things in my experience that I've experienced relating to Si-inf. Sorry if they're a bit rambling.