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  1. #11
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    This is difficult to distill down to one particular event. He is an incredibly resilient person, very resourceful and his charm and intelligence has served him well. To be honest, I think his ENTP qualities have allowed him to survive some very devastating life events, as well as being e7 (in some respects) has served as a useful buffer. We had separated and he received terrible news about his health so I went to his aid, we ended up getting back together (of course). He wavered between getting treatment or not (no insurance) and then lost his job, which definitely plays into his self-worth, even moreso than his health. There are also problems with his refugee status when he came here as a child from Eastern Europe. So, yes, lots of things have happened to him to lose his sense of self.

    The thing is, in the past, he seemed able to almost reinvent himself with his incredible ability to scan the environment and attract people that could make things happen. I am just trying to be a support at this time, but sometimes I think he resents my help, so I have pulled back. And I don't know if that helps or hurts the situation.
    Jesus. That is one hell of a pickle.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  2. #12
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    I am just trying to be a support at this time, but sometimes I think he resents my help, so I have pulled back. And I don't know if that helps or hurts the situation.
    What makes you think he resents it? What does he say, do, etc. that makes you think this?
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Seems to me it might be best to try not to be the 'motivator' factoring on his dilemma.
    I'd let it roll.
    If he's hot for you fuck him. Trust me, that works.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  4. #14
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    This is difficult to distill down to one particular event. He is an incredibly resilient person, very resourceful and his charm and intelligence has served him well. To be honest, I think his ENTP qualities have allowed him to survive some very devastating life events, as well as being e7 (in some respects) has served as a useful buffer. We had separated and he received terrible news about his health so I went to his aid, we ended up getting back together (of course). He wavered between getting treatment or not (no insurance) and then lost his job, which definitely plays into his self-worth, even moreso than his health. There are also problems with his refugee status when he came here as a child from Eastern Europe. So, yes, lots of things have happened to him to lose his sense of self.

    The thing is, in the past, he seemed able to almost reinvent himself with his incredible ability to scan the environment and attract people that could make things happen. I am just trying to be a support at this time, but sometimes I think he resents my help, so I have pulled back. And I don't know if that helps or hurts the situation.
    Have you asked him directly what you can do to help?

    If I'm in a funk, nothing and no one can pull me out of it, but me. He probably has some internal milestones, goals, which, if not achieved, it will signify failure (failure to move out of the funk).

    If I don't achieve X, I don't deserve to get out of this self-loathing. Penance. Punishment.

    I need to want. Have to barely works to motivate me to do the mundane necessities in life. For a whole self-transformation, to move out of my pit of despair, have to won't cut it. It has to be a vehement want to get that shit moving, and the want is usually tied to an internal milestone/achievement. Which energizes me, stimulates me, motivates me, reaffirms my potential, triggers it again. I.e., turns it into kinetic energy. Which, unless achieved....

    Tough love, not feeling sorry for me, helps more than sympathising with me. Or trying to act as my cheerleader. "You can do it!!!" would make me want to punch the person in the face, because clearly, my NOT doing it, has resulted in the funkdom. So either they're being obtuse or sarcastic. Neither would go down well with me, when I'm in that state.

  5. #15
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winds of Thor View Post
    Seems to me it might be best to try not to be the 'motivator' factoring on his dilemma.
    I'd let it roll.
    If he's hot for you fuck him. Trust me, that works.
    That is really solid advice, bro.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  6. #16
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    That is really solid advice, bro.

    ^ok, even though my ex's situation is sooo depressing, this exchange above is fucking hilarious! Love, love, love to all the ENTPs (even though INFJ/ENTP can be a match from hell) I can't help but love your awesomeness!!
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  7. #17
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    ^ok, even though my ex's situation is sooo depressing, this exchange above is fucking hilarious! Love, love, love to all the ENTPs (even though INFJ/ENTP can be a match from hell) I can't help but love your awesomeness!!
    Weeellll, we do our best : D
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  8. #18
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    ^ok, even though my ex's situation is sooo depressing, this exchange above is fucking hilarious! Love, love, love to all the ENTPs (even though INFJ/ENTP can be a match from hell) I can't help but love your awesomeness!!
    It's true, we ENTPs can be HELLA fun. But you know the saying, what goes up.....

    Icarus is one of my most favorite ENTP archetypes. My life has more or less been a fight to find some kind of balance. Even my avatar, the Knight of Wands. Knights in tarot are of 2 extremes, for wands, or fire, or spirit and primal energy, we can ignite a room with energy, but sometimes, if we're not careful, we can burn down a whole forest.






    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  9. #19
    Junior Member phdenial's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    It's true, we ENTPs can be HELLA fun. But you know the saying, what goes up.....

    Icarus is one of my most favorite ENTP archetypes. My life has more or less been a fight to find some kind of balance. Even my avatar, the Knight of Wands. Knights in tarot are of 2 extremes, for wands, or fire, or spirit and primal energy, we can ignite a room with energy, but sometimes, if we're not careful, we can burn down a whole forest.







    Sometimes I think I'm the knight of swords. Love the Icarus analogy. I am totally like that. But I'm getting to old too have the ability to grow back wings quickly again on the way down. This time around, I bounced (but only once).

  10. #20
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phdenial View Post
    Sometimes I think I'm the knight of swords. Love the Icarus analogy. I am totally like that. But I'm getting to old too have the ability to grow back wings quickly again on the way down. This time around, I bounced (but only once).

    Heard that. Swords are more associated with the mind, which is definitely relevant for an ENTP, and myself, but I lean just as much, if not more, on the kinesthetic side.

    Edit:
    Just for shits and giggles:

    Light and Dark

    Knight of Wands:
    CHARMING……….SUPERFICIAL
    SELF-CONFIDENT……….COCKY
    DARING……….FOOLHARDY
    ADVENTUROUS……….RESTLESS
    PASSIONATE……….HOT-TEMPERED

    Knight of Swords
    DIRECT……….BLUNT
    AUTHORITATIVE……….OVERBEARING
    INCISIVE……….CUTTING
    KNOWLEDGEABLE……….OPINIONATED
    LOGICAL……….UNFEELING
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

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