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  1. #11
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    I think this is the best approach. If it doesn't work, just be direct and tell him that this is a project which you want to do independently.
    Thanks, JAVO, I will remember this when I speak with him again. At this point, I am waiting until he contacts me again.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    Destroy him. He'll be better for it. If he cannot compost himself into something valuable afterwards he isn't worth the concern.

    Also, let me join your school and live somewhere in the wild. Heh.
    Best idea yet! If you try and manipulate him or deceive him he will be more offended than if you are just blunt and truthful. Just have an honest conversation!

  3. #13
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Bribe him with chocklit.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    If you stroke his ego, just to placate him, and he's even a little bit self-aware, he will see through it, and hold it against you - for lying to him.

    Manipulation directed towards me (even if for a seemingly "good cause"), raise my hackles like nothing else can. If you can make your case with sound logic, being direct, and confident in your position, and he's any sort of ENTP worth his salt, he will respect that. If there's a lot of ego getting in the way, he'll grudgingly respect it, but respect it, nonetheless.

    Also let him know that as your teacher, the final lesson is to let you fly, on your own wings. This is now your story to tell, not his.

  5. #15
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    wait, aren't we talking about martial artist here? screw typology, duel it out! winner takes all! we can start a betting pool.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    @Mane I have to admit, your idea sounds fun! But he's been at it a lot longer, so he'd probably kill me.

    Actually, I talked to him this morning we are GOOD! I told him my concerns and we brainstormed solutions, coming up with one we are both happy with. Thank you guys because I took the suggestions to just be straight with him and while he didn't like it at first, he DID respect it and I think it's laid the groundwork for a good relationship.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  7. #17
    Junior Member phdenial's Avatar
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    No ENTP will be offended if you tell them your honest preference. Show respect and admiration, but don't fawn. There's no need. He'll respect you for being direct and clear. I doubt he will take it personally, because we honestly believe we are above that. [And do NOT try to destroy an ENTP, especially if you are an NF. We fight to win, but we don't care if we lose (that much, anyway). But there are body parts scattered everywhere afterwards. Not a pretty sight.]

    No need to sweat it so much, OP.

  8. #18
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    I mean, help, please. I need to understand what's going on in the other person's head.

    One of the sifus I trained under has taken a personal interest in my school. I understand he is proud and feels that whether it succeeds or fails, it is somehow a reflection on him. He truly knows martial arts, but he doesn't know art or music or how to talk to the public without offending them. I'm fairly certain he's an ENTP. I DO want him to be proud and to feel a part of things, but I don't want him to come in and try to take over. I respect him, but I've checked out some of his suggestions and found them to be faulty and gone ahead, done the research and established things as I see best. My very close INTJ friend tells me to just do it my way because ENTP had a shot and blew it, but INTJs not the one having to deal with him, I am.

    My question to ExTPs is this: how do I show him the proper respect, yet communicate truthfully without hurting him, because for all his tough exterior, I believe his emotions and ego to be vulnerable and I have no wish to hurt or offend him. So, as for you,how do you wish people would communicate to you when you're overstepping your boundaries? I want to keep him as my friend but I don't want him to sabotage what I've worked hard to build. It almost looks like he wants to take credit for my endeavors so that he can own bragging rights.
    I think you're a team if you want to be, and if you want to be, then let go of feeling threatened by him. Instead, groom him for success [as I trust he has done for you]. Appreciate and respect him. Communicate honestly about how you feel and share critical stuff with him privately. I bet if you do that, y'all will be just fine.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A window to the soul View Post
    I think you're a team if you want to be, and if you want to be, then let go of feeling threatened by him. Instead, groom him for success [as I trust he has done for you]. Appreciate and respect him. Communicate honestly about how you feel and share critical stuff with him privately. I bet if you do that, y'all will be just fine.
    Thanks, actually, we've come a ways since I made these posts. I don't see him as a threat at all now, but I do respect him a lot. We communicate often and openly now and I think he has gained confidence in my abilities.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  10. #20
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Thanks, actually, we've come a ways since I made these posts. I don't see him as a threat at all now, but I do respect him a lot. We communicate often and openly now and I think he has gained confidence in my abilities.
    You handled yourself excellently; it's refreshing. You give much to others by your example.

    Thanks for the update.

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