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  1. #1
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Default Are ENTPs aggressive/forceful?

    I've been reading here and there where other types (particularly F's and S's) talk about ENTP's and saying that we're generally forceful, aggressive and assertive, implying it in a bad way.

    This strikes me as odd, because I've never thought of myself as an aggressive person. Assertive, certainly - I will be outspoken about things that piss me off, and I can be persuasive and I admit, manipulative too at times.

    However, the last thing that's ever on my mind is actually forcing people to do or think anything. Sometimes I do express myself perhaps more openly and assertively than some other people do, but it's not because I'm trying to force or persuade - I'm trying to be as clear as possible and I want people to push back and tell me things 'in no uncertain terms'. If they have a problem I want them to voice it, and if they voice it, I want to listen and understand and make any necessary changes to help them. When I ask 'What is your problem?' it's out of curiosity, not aggression or defensiveness.

    One of the things that frustrates me most about a friendship I have with an INFJ woman, is when things go all awry because apparently, something I've been doing has been upsetting her, but I've not known because she hasn't told me, so I've kept on doing it. I ask her in exasperation why on earth she didn't just say if she had a problem, and she says she was worried that I'd get mad or annoyed at her, and yet when she finally does say what the problem was, I always concede that she has a point, and apologise, and do what I can do improve things in the future, so I really don't know where she gets this idea from that I'm so aggressive and unapproachable...

    But, come to think of it, it seems the only people I can really rely on in my life to give me honest feedback in clear and unambiguous terms, without pulling punches (the way I like it) are two ENTJ's and an INTJ... and they don't exactly have great reputations for tact either...

    I'd be really interested to hear about other people's experiences with ENTP's and how we come across, as I fear some of it may be lost in translation and I'd like to be able to communicate with the people I know in a way that doesn't make them afraid of me! And I'd also like to know what ways I could use to more effectively get clear and honest feedback from the gentler types... after all, if the only frank advice I'm getting is from similarly assertive types, then it won't help me in dealing with the others and just might exacerbate the problem (if there even is one).

  2. #2
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    ENTJs.

    ENTPs are a bit too loopy to be "aggressive". I think ENTPs are more like Doc Brown from Back to the Future.

  3. #3
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ENTJs.

    ENTPs are a bit too loopy to be "aggressive". I think ENTPs are more like Doc Brown from Back to the Future.
    Well yeah totally, or Captain Jack Sparrow lol

    It's enthusiasm-fuelled assertiveness, to my mind, but I've been called aggressive so many times, I just wonder how it is from the other types' POV, or whether it's just that the people who've said this have been over-sensitive and it wasn't in fact me at all.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ENTJs. ENTPs are a bit too loopy to be "aggressive". I think ENTPs are more like Doc Brown from Back to the Future.
    I wouldn't compare Digest to Doc Brown ... but yes, I would class Doc Brown as an ENTP -- a very good-hearted one.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I don't know for sure, but I think I would not enjoy being around someone I had to "push back" in order to not be overpowered.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Funny, I just met up with an old time friend - a through and through ENTP. He was incredibly social... I've never seen someone so at ease with attention and entertaining others. It's incredible because it's the same guy that writes huge technical papers on nanotechnology that I couldn't even begin to grasp... And he's doing it in a foreign language that he just started learning. I just can't grasp how the two go together somehow - that super technical learning and drive, followed by the most social person I've ever met!

    I think what was probably meant was "attention whore" - there is a certain trait in ENTPs that drive attention to themselves, often with antic like behaviour. I'd imagine weaker Ps and stronger Ts are more likely to be more aggressive and maybe not as friendly/laid back... but in general, they are pretty awesome.

    (And yah, comparing ENTPs and ENTJs in terms of being aggressive... ENTPs are puppies)

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    And I would class Jack Sparrow as an ESFP. He's probably the most earthy character Depp has ever played.

    Pretty much every other memorable character played by Johnny Depp, however, are xNxPs, and are featured in Tim Burton movies.

    Edward Scissorhands is an INFP.

    Ed Wood is an ENFP.

    Incabod Crane is an INTP.

    Willy Wonka is an ENTP.

    I typed the real life Johnny Depp as an ENFP.

    As far as fictional ENTJs, Look no further than Ted Danson as John Becker in Becker. I think he fits the stereotype, quite honestly.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nighthawk's Avatar
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    One of my best friends is ENTP. He can be assertive when he needs to be and charming/convincing when he wants to be. I would not call him aggressive or forceful. He has a charm that convinces people to do what he wants them to do ... but I've never seen force or coercion involved.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't know for sure, but I think I would not enjoy being around someone I had to "push back" in order to not be overpowered.
    Thing is, I don't usually realise that 'pushing' is what my manner feels like to the other person. If they just say, I'll go out of my way to tone myself down for them, but it seems some people can feel pushed so easily, like you don't have to do much at all for them to feel like you're pushing, and I wonder how on earth I'm supposed to deal with those people, like am I supposed to walk on egg shells all the time?

    I'd hate the thought that someone felt overpowered by me. I just don't know what it is in what I do that gives them that impression.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Funny, I just met up with an old time friend - a through and through ENTP. He was incredibly social... I've never seen someone so at ease with attention and entertaining others. It's incredible because it's the same guy that writes huge technical papers on nanotechnology that I couldn't even begin to grasp... And he's doing it in a foreign language that he just started learning. I just can't grasp how the two go together somehow - that super technical learning and drive, followed by the most social person I've ever met!

    I think what was probably meant was "attention whore" - there is a certain trait in ENTPs that drive attention to themselves, often with antic like behaviour. I'd imagine weaker Ps and stronger Ts are more likely to be more aggressive and maybe not as friendly/laid back... but in general, they are pretty awesome.

    (And yah, comparing ENTPs and ENTJs in terms of being aggressive... ENTPs are puppies)
    Well yeah that's kinda like me - without the nanotechnology part, since my specialism is in languages and history.

    I don't consciously TRY for attention (like my ENFP brother does, the drama king!), I'm also not consciously trying to avoid it either, I just don't care one way or the other, and just tend to say what I think, which is often what other people are thinking but daren't say, and I think it's that, which is what entertains them so much... I tend to be good at bringing people out of their shells by saying all the 'dangerous' stuff for them, so they can see it's okay, the world didn't explode after that, so they can surely say what they like and it'll be okay.

    A lot of the time it may seem like I'm trying to get attention for myself, but it's not myself I want people to pay attention to so much as the idea I have. Something comes to me and I just love it so much, I just know the others will love it and so I just want to make sure it gets heard and appreciated and don't care if I end up looking a fool in the process. If I can use my own charisma as a vehicle to get the idea listened to easier, then I'll do that too, but as I say, the object for me is always to give the idea 'air-time', not to get myself attention - that's just a by-product that I guess I accept and don't mind.

  10. #10
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    The three ENTPs I know are "always on." Each one is, also, of the other persuasion -- that twist makes their presence somewhat like having Oscar Wilde in the room. Still, witty is enjoyable; tirelessly witty is cloying.

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