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[ENTP] Are ENTPs aggressive/forceful?

substitute

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substitute, do you adjust your communication style according to the person you are communicating with?

Yes, I try to as much as possible, but a lot of the time I'm communicating with many people at once, of different types but predominantly NT's and ST's.

When one-on-one I do my best to come over to the other person's level (though I find it tiring and don't tend to see many people making any effort to meet me half way), and in groups I tend to adjust to whatever's the predominant mentality.

When communicating with NF's one on one, I tend to just feel scared the whole time, which is funny, cos they say they're intimidated by me when in fact if they only knew that I'm mentally virtually in the fetal position, so terrified of upsetting them and anxious because I just totally don't understand how I do, and because I also know that if I do, odds are they won't tell me until it's too late to make amends...

This thread is actually helping me quite a bit to see the various different takes on ENTPs... Fellow NT's seem to see us as playful, loopy and harmless; NF's seem to see us as egotistical and insensitive; J's see us as unreliable and fickle... be interesting to get some Sensors' POV's.
 

Totenkindly

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This thread is actually helping me quite a bit to see the various different takes on ENTPs... Fellow NT's seem to see us as playful, loopy and harmless; NF's seem to see us as egotistical and insensitive; J's see us as unreliable and fickle... be interesting to get some Sensors' POV's.

Oh, are you really sure you want to go there? :)

Actually, depending on the Sensor, you might fit in very well. The ENTP I'm friends with not only has esoteric knowledge, but he loves to tinker with things. He grows peppers, fixes landmowers, spent a summer digging post holes for telephone poles, can fix car engines, and just knows a great deal much areas of knowledge that a typical ST might find very interesting. (He also loves guns and hunting. That's a favorite S subject around here.)

So I'd say, if you get into practical, tangible fields of knowledge and how-to stuff when you go a little "nutty," an ST could probably deal very well with you.

And if you've developed your Fe in tangible ways, that really helps with the SF types. (But SFJs often see an ENTP show of affection as so over the top as to be suspicious of it, so you need to be a little wary. :) )
 
R

RDF

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[...] When communicating with NF's one on one, I tend to just feel scared the whole time [...]

:vader1: BOO! :vader1:


By the way, that's a scary "boo!", not a disapproving "boo!"
Patent pending. Do NOT steal this idea.

_____________________________________

FL
 

Siúil a Rúin

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...When communicating with NF's one on one, I tend to just feel scared the whole time, which is funny, cos they say they're intimidated by me when in fact if they only knew that I'm mentally virtually in the fetal position, so terrified of upsetting them and anxious because I just totally don't understand how I do, and because I also know that if I do, odds are they won't tell me until it's too late to make amends...
Walking on eggshells is icky. Really though not all NFs will do that I suspect. It sounds like some of your NFs just need counseling. It is considered 'healthy' communication to say what you mean, to speak up when you have a need, etc. What you are describing is an unhealthy communication style. Hang out with some NFs around here and other places and you'll see some more variety. I promise you would have a very, very, very hard time offending me. You welcomed to try. :hi:
 

sakuraba

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ENTP are friendly and I do not find them intimidating.

However I might second guess myself when approaching them or being friendly with them. Never know what kind of response you will get from an ENTP.

Generally we get along fine. I like ENTPs.
 

sakuraba

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ENTP are aggressive in going after what they want.

Example: Marc Cuban.

Very very aggressive in trying to get what he wants. But highly sociable and friendly. Wouldnt hurt a fly.
 

GZA

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Maybe not agressive, but definitely assertive. Is it bad? Not really, no, you just need to hold up your end of the conversation. It seems like they make a strong comment, and they are just standing there, on the edge of their seat so to speak, waiting for you to deliver a response for them to jump at and responde to again, like a game, like a duel of sorts :party2:
 

substitute

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Maybe not agressive, but definitely assertive. Is it bad? Not really, no, you just need to hold up your end of the conversation. It seems like they make a strong comment, and they are just standing there, on the edge of their seat so to speak, waiting for you to deliver a response for them to jump at and responde to again, like a game, like a duel of sorts :party2:

Most of the time it's not actually a strong comment from my POV. Or at least, I'm not aware if it is. It's just something that's just come to me, and I've got to put it out to the panel and see if together we can whittle out what truth there might be in it. If I seem to say it 'strongly', then it's not out of desire to be provocative - it's more out of being too impatient to get it out there, to be bothered to sit and think about how to put it in a way that can't offend anyone.
 

runvardh

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Sub, I have been strangely finding that I do something similar and it only happens with types that are either Fe dominant or auxiliary. It's kind of funny, with this one group I'm in they sent the ENFP who I thought knew me the least (apparently the ESFJ thought he knew me the best) to pry me out of my shell. Talking to him and the things that have been said to him and the questions he asked really made me shake my head. Anyway, he seems to at least understand I'm not going to shut people down if they want to talk to me, now I just need to convince the others. This I'm thinking of actually making an informal presentation on it and field questions. Hopefully I can tell them that I don't feel the need to fill dead air, but there is hardly a question to me that is off limits.
 

LucrativeSid

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I can be slightly aggressive when I'm trying to fix a problem and the only thing standing between me and the solution is an uncooperative person. I'm not very patient and I like to move as quick as my mind works. Other than that, I've been accused of being aggressive in debates and stuff like that. What I consider to be a fun consversation other people consider to be a personal attack or a fight.
 

CzeCze

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I think most people aren't used to being rewarded for direct honesty. And this is more so for women. I know that my INTP friend had a problem with their partner for a similar reason -- the person was intimidated by my INTP friend. Which makes it really hard to have a relationship with someone.

When I encounter harshness or dismissiveness in my friends (INTP/ISTJ) I know if I keep pushing, my friends will really think about what I'm saying. They're reasonable otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them. In addition to being the type of person who likes to push, I feel secure and invested enough in our relationship to push.

Maybe the woman you are involved with has felt she has had to push you about other topics -- perhaps seemingly mundane topics like what you thought about a movie or politician -- but she takes it that this is how you will respond to any critique she may have of you? And she feels uncomfortable in general 'pushing'.

I think periodically reminding the woman that you really value her opinions and want to her to feel comfortable around you -- BEFORE these eye opening conversations -- will help.

Perhaps it's a question of tell don't show or show don't tell, and some people take more warming up before telling you how they feel, even if something is bugging them and no matter how much you try to tell them to tell you when something is bugging them. Sometimes you can't 'force' people to tell you what they think if they are still in the formulation phase of those thoughts and getting comfortable with that opinion themselves. In those cases, I just think that's the way they deal with things and it's not necessarily an issue to fix or that I can fix. I have friends like this.
 
O

Oberon

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I have the tools in my repertoire to be highly aggressive, even confrontational; but the occasions on which I've trotted these out and used them have been vanishingly rare.

Basically I've got to be in circumstances where having the object of my aggression actually like me is either not in the cards or not worth the trouble, and those circumstances only arise about twice in a lifetime for me.
 

Dysentery_Fairy

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IME I'd say kinda, because it's the tone and sudden burst of thought (which can be accusational).

I get offended by this because the thought is usually felt as an attack on my character and is normally untrue and seems dramatic. This kind of behavior get's me to become irrational which is uncharacteristic for me.

I know this excites you... that you have gotten to me and you've gotten me to behave like a monkey, but this is bad very bad... jerk. :yim_phbbbbt:
 

G-Virus

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I have heard that we only come off as assholes to the more introverted types and maybe more so to the introverted feelers. I personally care too much to be insensitive on purpose, sure I am an ass at times when I don't realize it, but if I catch myself doing something stupid, you will usually get a call from me later on to meet alone to talk or just the call.
 

Amargith

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I have heard that we only come off as assholes to the more introverted types and maybe more so to the introverted feelers. I personally care too much to be insensitive on purpose, sure I am an ass at times when I don't realize it, but if I catch myself doing something stupid, you will usually get a call from me later on to meet alone to talk or just the call.

Think again...I have (I think) an ENTP father and brother, and we are known in our family for being loud with all those E's there, but they would totally dominate and intimidate me whenever we had a disagreement. I admit I have the same style, and I wasn't as intimidated by their gesturing and their loudness, but the things that came out of their mouth...they made me cringe.
And whenever I pleaded to let it go as they were crushing my feelings and making me feel worthless, they swept it off the table as if it wasn't valid. My dad actually considered it his personal parenting task to teach me to be 'tougher' as the outside world didn't have a place for sensitive people like me. Ironically, I've never felt as hurt by the outside world as my family, as I don't care about the outside world's opinion as much.

I guess it also had to do though with the fact that I was the only girl, ENFP and the youngest in the household. My dad and I still walk on eggs around each other and anything can trigger a scene where the roof gets blown off the house.. My brother I once literally tossed out of my room as he was in my face and giving me his unsollicited opinion on my lovelife and actually forbidding me to see the guy ever again.

It is comforting to meet people like G-virus and Entropie who will be a typically fun-loving ENTP, but also doublecheck if they trampled your boundaries
 

Mondo

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I wouldn't say ENTP's are forceful or aggressive. They often have a lot to say but they take criticism and disagreement much better than the ENTJ, for instance and are open to at least hearing ideas that are different from their own.
 

Amargith

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I wouldn't say ENTP's are forceful or aggressive. They often have a lot to say but they take criticism and disagreement much better than the ENTJ, for instance and are open to at least hearing ideas that are different from their own.

Ok maybe I'm mistyping my family then, as especially my dad is not likely to change his mind once he has an opinion. On the other hand, the man couldn't be on time if his life depended on it and drives my mom nuts with his mess everywhere. Problems he doesn't like facing either, so he'll procrastinate and ignore them.
 

Mondo

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Ok maybe I'm mistyping my family then, as especially my dad is not likely to change his mind once he has an opinion. On the other hand, the man couldn't be on time if his life depended on it and drives my mom nuts with his mess everywhere. Problems he doesn't like facing either, so he'll procrastinate and ignore them.

ENTP's aren't necessarily eager to change their minds (I don't think any type is- if it's an opinion and not a fact- why should one change his or her mind) but they are respectful of other people's opinions and won't try to force their opinions aggressively on other people.
 

Gamine

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I find the ENTP's in my life dynamic, strong and intelligent. I know more female ENTPs than male, and they have the distinct qualities of wisdom and presence that are rare among any age group. Yes they can be perceived as "hard asses" by people in conflict with them, but I admire their honesty.

No matter what they say, people are attracted to them because they have content. In a world where people talk a lot and say nothing, their statements are refreshing in their insight.

Mad respect for ENTP's.
 
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