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  1. #51
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I think most people aren't used to being rewarded for direct honesty. And this is more so for women. I know that my INTP friend had a problem with their partner for a similar reason -- the person was intimidated by my INTP friend. Which makes it really hard to have a relationship with someone.

    When I encounter harshness or dismissiveness in my friends (INTP/ISTJ) I know if I keep pushing, my friends will really think about what I'm saying. They're reasonable otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them. In addition to being the type of person who likes to push, I feel secure and invested enough in our relationship to push.

    Maybe the woman you are involved with has felt she has had to push you about other topics -- perhaps seemingly mundane topics like what you thought about a movie or politician -- but she takes it that this is how you will respond to any critique she may have of you? And she feels uncomfortable in general 'pushing'.

    I think periodically reminding the woman that you really value her opinions and want to her to feel comfortable around you -- BEFORE these eye opening conversations -- will help.

    Perhaps it's a question of tell don't show or show don't tell, and some people take more warming up before telling you how they feel, even if something is bugging them and no matter how much you try to tell them to tell you when something is bugging them. Sometimes you can't 'force' people to tell you what they think if they are still in the formulation phase of those thoughts and getting comfortable with that opinion themselves. In those cases, I just think that's the way they deal with things and it's not necessarily an issue to fix or that I can fix. I have friends like this.

  2. #52
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    Default hey Sid

    I had the same avatar before

  3. #53
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    I have the tools in my repertoire to be highly aggressive, even confrontational; but the occasions on which I've trotted these out and used them have been vanishingly rare.

    Basically I've got to be in circumstances where having the object of my aggression actually like me is either not in the cards or not worth the trouble, and those circumstances only arise about twice in a lifetime for me.

  4. #54
    Junior Member Dysentery_Fairy's Avatar
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    IME I'd say kinda, because it's the tone and sudden burst of thought (which can be accusational).

    I get offended by this because the thought is usually felt as an attack on my character and is normally untrue and seems dramatic. This kind of behavior get's me to become irrational which is uncharacteristic for me.

    I know this excites you... that you have gotten to me and you've gotten me to behave like a monkey, but this is bad very bad... jerk. :yim_phbbbbt:
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    If I've upset you it's not my problem you didn't get the joke.

  5. #55
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    I have heard that we only come off as assholes to the more introverted types and maybe more so to the introverted feelers. I personally care too much to be insensitive on purpose, sure I am an ass at times when I don't realize it, but if I catch myself doing something stupid, you will usually get a call from me later on to meet alone to talk or just the call.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  6. #56
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    I have heard that we only come off as assholes to the more introverted types and maybe more so to the introverted feelers. I personally care too much to be insensitive on purpose, sure I am an ass at times when I don't realize it, but if I catch myself doing something stupid, you will usually get a call from me later on to meet alone to talk or just the call.
    Think again...I have (I think) an ENTP father and brother, and we are known in our family for being loud with all those E's there, but they would totally dominate and intimidate me whenever we had a disagreement. I admit I have the same style, and I wasn't as intimidated by their gesturing and their loudness, but the things that came out of their mouth...they made me cringe.
    And whenever I pleaded to let it go as they were crushing my feelings and making me feel worthless, they swept it off the table as if it wasn't valid. My dad actually considered it his personal parenting task to teach me to be 'tougher' as the outside world didn't have a place for sensitive people like me. Ironically, I've never felt as hurt by the outside world as my family, as I don't care about the outside world's opinion as much.

    I guess it also had to do though with the fact that I was the only girl, ENFP and the youngest in the household. My dad and I still walk on eggs around each other and anything can trigger a scene where the roof gets blown off the house.. My brother I once literally tossed out of my room as he was in my face and giving me his unsollicited opinion on my lovelife and actually forbidding me to see the guy ever again.

    It is comforting to meet people like G-virus and Entropie who will be a typically fun-loving ENTP, but also doublecheck if they trampled your boundaries
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #57
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say ENTP's are forceful or aggressive. They often have a lot to say but they take criticism and disagreement much better than the ENTJ, for instance and are open to at least hearing ideas that are different from their own.
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  8. #58
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I wouldn't say ENTP's are forceful or aggressive. They often have a lot to say but they take criticism and disagreement much better than the ENTJ, for instance and are open to at least hearing ideas that are different from their own.
    Ok maybe I'm mistyping my family then, as especially my dad is not likely to change his mind once he has an opinion. On the other hand, the man couldn't be on time if his life depended on it and drives my mom nuts with his mess everywhere. Problems he doesn't like facing either, so he'll procrastinate and ignore them.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  9. #59
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Ok maybe I'm mistyping my family then, as especially my dad is not likely to change his mind once he has an opinion. On the other hand, the man couldn't be on time if his life depended on it and drives my mom nuts with his mess everywhere. Problems he doesn't like facing either, so he'll procrastinate and ignore them.
    ENTP's aren't necessarily eager to change their minds (I don't think any type is- if it's an opinion and not a fact- why should one change his or her mind) but they are respectful of other people's opinions and won't try to force their opinions aggressively on other people.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  10. #60
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    I find the ENTP's in my life dynamic, strong and intelligent. I know more female ENTPs than male, and they have the distinct qualities of wisdom and presence that are rare among any age group. Yes they can be perceived as "hard asses" by people in conflict with them, but I admire their honesty.

    No matter what they say, people are attracted to them because they have content. In a world where people talk a lot and say nothing, their statements are refreshing in their insight.

    Mad respect for ENTP's.

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