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  1. #31
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back. Therefore, the chances of a guy who is hitting on me being one of those people (instead of either a guy looking for someone 'easy' or a guy who does not see women very often and goes, 'hehe, female, hehe' because of an uncontrolled primitive instinct) is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very low. In fact, the chances of it happening are negligible.

    So guys, stop it. I'll come to you.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  2. #32
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.

    I think a lot of guys think they're interested in a personality like mine, but then once they get to know that it's not an act (i.e. I'm never going to turn into the nodding smiling trophy wife type) 90% of guys are immediately disinterested.

    The other 10% though... those males I find are directly correlated to being the interesting and intelligent guys that I might be interested in.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #33
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back. Therefore, the chances of a guy who is hitting on me being one of those people (instead of either a guy looking for someone 'easy' or a guy who does not see women very often and goes, 'hehe, female, hehe' because of an uncontrolled primitive instinct) is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very low. In fact, the chances of it happening are negligible.

    So guys, stop it. I'll come to you.
    Those are the females I was hoping for, but they never came to me. Apparently INTJ males are just as unwanted by females as the females are to other males.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.

    I think a lot of guys think they're interested in a personality like mine, but then once they get to know that it's not an act (i.e. I'm never going to turn into the nodding smiling trophy wife type) 90% of guys are immediately disinterested.

    The other 10% though... those males I find are directly correlated to being the interesting and intelligent guys that I might be interested in.
    I see a similar thing in the opposite gender direction, except they think they'll somehow 'fix' what they think is wrong with me.

    If it's any consolation, your intelligence and no-nonsense style is very attractive.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Dang you INTJ women, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Take a risk once in a while and give a brother a chance. Trust me that Ni meter isn't always as good as you would like to think.
    I tried this a couple of times...didn't work out. When I'm not intrigued by and attracted to a guy it's no use proceeding further - but I guess that's not INTJ specific. Of course what I'm attracted to isn't always "conventional". And when I say immediately, it's not as if I tell them to go away after 30 seconds, but after an evening of talking, I usually have made up my mind on at least a subconscious level.

  5. #35
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back.
    I find that the mutual success rate is delightfully high with ENPs.

    To answer the OP: I feel fortunate to have had my personality romantically appreciated fairly often in my life considering, y'know, the social awkwardness, the hardheartedness and the feisty dogmatism that goes with the female INTJ territory. I don't think I ever dismissed guys before getting to know them (unless they failed my physical attraction test, but that goes without saying) but then, my attachment style is extremely secure (neither anxious nor avoidant). Of course, it's difficult to know which came first, the happy experiences or the security. Having a mother who was an INTJ herself and who therefore manifested an ideal of femininity that was not alien to me probably helped me feel comfortable enough in my own skin that I could be attractive to others. But since we can't retroactively reengineer our parents' types ( ) it is more useful to mention that I've met more than my fair share of ENPs. I can highly recommend for other INTJs to seek them out.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    What exactly happens when one merges an INTJ with an ENP?

  7. #37
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    What exactly happens when one merges an INTJ with an ENP?
    Sparks.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  8. #38
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    On average, one brave soul a semester. Do I take them up on it? Not usually. Most people interested in me, aren't my type. Yet, I did gain a great friend out of one of those adventures. A lesbian engineer student, via o-chem a few semesters ago. Anyway, I'd rather choose and pursue of my own will. I've never had a romantic relationship begin when someone else made the first moves.

  9. #39
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    <suddenly realizes Haphazard is female>
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  10. #40
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Dang you INTJ women, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Take a risk once in a while and give a brother a chance. Trust me that Ni meter isn't always as good as you would like to think.
    Another fun fact: Outrageous over-the-top flirting makes me cringe as I assume sex is the motivation but subtle flirting can go right over my head, seriously I can be oblivious, I'm a friendly person and will chat to anyone and kinda assume the same in others so miss obvious signs of flirting - Like REALLY obvious in the way that everyone around me can see plain as day I think it goes back to my perception that I'm not what they're looking for, that and um, I kinda live in a bubble...

    While my Ni has proved right again and again that doesn't mean that I don't push it at times, when I said "90&#37; of guys I meet are dismissed in 5 minutes" that was not literal, I will give a guy a chance the problem is I can predict what's coming and can't fake attraction once I've seen something that is unappealing. Guys don't surprise me often in that respect but I'm happy to give them the opportunity to. What I wrote before was how I feel and is not necessarily indicative of what I let unfold if that makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.
    Yup, me too. My thing is I don't have a problem taking the first step so if a guy is a friend chances are it's because I'm not interested romantically, kinda sucky! Oh and most of my guy friends tend to be ESJ's, love them dearly but as a partner they would drive me batty.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    <suddenly realizes Haphazard is female>
    Took me a while to figure that one out too

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