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  1. #1
    Member Elaine's Avatar
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    Default [NT] Who are you easier to communicate with: NF or ST

    Just wondered who NTs find easier to talk to: Intuitive Feelers or Sensor Thinkers.
    I, for example, find NFs much easier to socialize with than STs. I' m generally not a very sociable persin, it' s difficult for many people( majority of whom are of course SFs) to understand me or find common language with me. Besides, I' m rather self - sufficient: I don' t have this need to socialize like I have needs to eat or sleep. I won' t come and talk to someone unless I have a good reason for that or I really like to socialize with that person. To me, friendship is not a necessity, but more like something like a symbiosis, and a huge attachment to someone. Small talk means nothing to me, I don' t like to spend energy on spare words, and that' s why lots of people consider me weird. I haven' t met an NT in real life so far, but there is a number of NF people with whom I am in rather good terms, and who don' t consider me weird at all. Among them there are my two best friends, one INFP and one ENFP( well, she was borderline ENTP when I gave her the test, but I guess she is more F because of her short temper) . Sounds like we don' t have much in common, right? But I find it easy to find common topics to talk and reach consensus when I am with them. Of course, there are several things about them that annoy me, like irrationality and preference of subjective feelings instead of logical thinking( which I plain can' t understand) , occasional laziness and overall tenderness( INFP friend), or hot temper and being overly emotional( the ENFP friend) . But I find these differences rather tolerable, and I can say. There is als my English teacher who is an NF( can' t say which one exactly) . Many teachers in my school teach us by enforcing a certain way of thinking, and discourage anyone whose opinion differs from it. I, despite overally being an A - grade student and one of the best in class, even got my mark lowened several times for expressing oppinions that contradict more widely spread points of view in my compositions( I know, I could have written a point of view that corresponds with the one of society, but my pride cannot afford it. Most opinions of society seen primitive to me, and writing that is almost equal in my mind to dressing up in a chimpanze costume and pretending to be an ape just to please others. I don' t want to change myself just to please others, since I don' t have a reason to please others. ) . But my English teacher is not like that. She encourages students to think( even though most of my generation don' t want to, which is rather shameful) , instead of just giving the stamped way of thinking. I remember when I had to write a composition on a free topic, I decided to criticize one character from a classical novel whom many people in my country consider a role model for females, but I found this charater rather foolish and flawed, and not a good role model at all. Had it been the teacher of my country' s literature( ESFJ) the one who read this composition, I probably would have been called weird in front of the whole class( Because that' s what she does to me when I say anything that doesn' t correspond with socity' s opinion. I don' t give a damn about what the classmates think of me, however) . But my English teacher said I had a very good composition, and even said that when she was in my age( I' m currently 16, and will be 17 in less than 2 months) , she wasn' t able to question everything in a composition so openly , and to explain it so carefully. And she also helped me prepare for ESOL examinations 2 years ago( PET, to be certain) , and because of her I passed them successfully.
    To me, STs are much harder to communicate with. I have an ISTJ mother, and I find it rather hard to reach consensus with her. She is literally obsessed with cleaning and schedule( like, I always need to clean up at Sunday, no later, even if I' m terribly tired) . She is very by - the - book , and both of us are quite bossy, and sometimes life at home turns into fighting for more bossing. She also believes the majority is always right, and unlike me( who believes right and wrong are subjective preferences of an individual), never questions the majority. That' s why she often tries to shape me into a more socially conventional person, believeing it is best for me( as if she is me and can really understand what is best for me) . I love her, but these are qualities rather hard to tolerate, and it can be rather difficult to reach a mutual compromise with her. I guess she also uses that to cause a feeling of guilt inside me when I oppose her, so that the probablity of me giving up would increase. What bugs me about STs is their by - the - bookishness and generalization of one' s mind. They believe that if something was best for them, it will be best for others, instead of percieving each person as an individual with unique psychology and system of interacting with the world.
    And what about you? Who is easier for you to communicate with?

  2. #2
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    To some extent, talking with STs is easier because there's less room for misinterpretation. You just speak their language and go about your day. The shared intuition with NFs can make talking with them more pleasurable, but you run into the problem of assuming more common ground than there actually is. Definitely can lead to some bad things.
    Last edited by Wind Up Rex; 12-28-2013 at 04:04 PM. Reason: Motherloving homophones
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    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    ST. Because there is no false common ground as alluded to above. If I'm floundering, I know it.
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  4. #4
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    ST. There has always been a mean streak to every NF I've encountered. They've always seemed to enjoy making fun of others and laughing behind their backs. I dont appreciate that particular kind of bitchiness.

  5. #5
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    To some extent, talking with STs is easier because there's less room for misinterpretation. You just speak their language and go about your day. The shared intuition with NFs can make talking with them more pleasurable, but you run into the problem of assuming more common ground than there actually is. Definitely can lead to some bad things.
    Yes, for slightly different reasons. I communicate easier with each type in different kinds of discussions. STs are very straightforward, often focusing on facts, which does indeed minimize misunderstandings and make communication efficient, especially for task-oriented discussions. There is often a sense of limitation or confinement in this straightforwardness, though, as if the conversation can only go so far so fast.

    With NFs, I can have the kind of soaring intellectual and metaphorical discussions that are like nectar of the gods. If we are on the same wavelength, the efficiency of idea transfer and the amount of ground we can cover in just a short time are unparalleled. These tend to be more social/extracurricular discussions than work-related, though.
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  6. #6
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    I find it easier to bond with NFJ especially ENFJs. I don't know that many INFJs in RL and the ones I know I get along very well. However I most of these INFJs are females and I keep a verbal distance from them. It is probably a cultural thing. The one INFJ I recall I got along very well. I am not entirely sure what exactly he thought of me and I am not entirely sure it's very good since he seemed to get offended at others' actions quite a bit. However he seemed to still converse with them and maintain good relations. So I am not sure whether I was one of those people. ENFJs and I however got/get along very well. It's probably their effort and not mine.

    NFPs I seem to get along well but I seldom agree with them and often believe they are out of touch with many things. However I do value their feedback since they are at most times vastly different from mine. Answering the OP in one word: I would have to say NO though I do get along well. However I do keep my distance and don't share my thoughts with them knowing that they seldom agree. (In most of my interaction I let them be the extrovert.) So my relationships with them is a safety precaution based I guess.


    STP I can easily communicate. Answering the title alone I would say STPs are on top. However I can't in the long term get along with STPs though I could very well imagine marrying one and learning how to appreciate one. (Esp an ISTP.)

    SFP: I find ESFPs a bit annoying and ISFPs annoyingly non communicative and often get the feeling that I have to strangle them to get them talking. (However the last observation is based on a few aspie ISFPs.) Going back to esfps I find they annoying because for them most things are based on Fi and unlike in ENFPs they don't seem to value Te at all. I find it odd that ENFPs being NPs seem to value and have a better grasp of Te. And ESFPs seem to have little capacity to tolerate/understand others' points of views.

    In short answering the title + adding long term to the title: NFJ > STP > NFP > ESFP

    I haven't had much experiences with ISFPs (especially ISFP women) to add them to the poll. However the ISFPs do seem to quickly understand me and agree with me though I am not sure whether this is type related, maturity on our part, personal experience or fear. Lolz.

  7. #7
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    I can talk to any of those. How long the communication goes is the problem. But if I had to guess, with ST I had the longest conversations with.

  8. #8
    Member totent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Up Rex View Post
    To some extent, talking with STs is easier because there's less room for misinterpretation. You just speak their language and go about your day. The shared intuition with NFs can make talking with them more pleasurable, but you run into the problem of assuming more common ground than there actually is. Definitely can lead to some bad things.
    I absolutely agree

    I have both, an ST and an NF best friend. The ST is male and NF female and I feel that that has a very important role in my comfort with talking to them. My conversations with my ST friend are generally straight-forward and I do not talk really talk my mind out with him. Politics, religion and all such topics are never discussed between us. I also do not feel comfortable talking to him when I face trouble with understanding emotions. However I find it easy to find common ground with him and usually have a good time with him. The communication is more activity-based like going out to eat or playing a video game or something.
    As for my conversations with my NF friend, we often talk about our ideas and thoughts about stuff and usually do not agree but we discuss them and mostly when we end the conversation, neither of us feels drained or upset by the disagreements. We can also discuss emotions and problems with each other quite comfortably and she seems to understand where I come from. However I have had some very bad moments with her and we have ended up arguing to the point that we had to take a few days to recover from the after affects.
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  9. #9

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    My best friend is INFP. That sums it up. I can let my guard down around NFs and some SFs. It's always up around STs.
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  10. #10
    Member Elaine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyedecker View Post
    My best friend is INFP. That sums it up. I can let my guard down around NFs and some SFs. It's always up around STs.
    To me, SFs are a total personality clash. STs are also not the easiest to talk to as well, however. However, if they' re SPs, it makes everything easier since SPs are easier to manipulate. SJs are awfully by - the - book and always are so sure that their way is right. Like I said, I find it difficult to commune with Si - doms.

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