[NT] Relationship pattern

[Kaitie]

I find that I always get into relationships with two types of women:
1) The Type that act like they hate you.
2) The Type that need to be "fixed."
Is this common among other INTJers?

 

[Triforce]

All wimmen needs fixing..

Men need a fix...

 

[Kaitie]

All wimmen needs fixing..

Men need a fix...

I'm not sure what this means, but thanks.

 

[AzulEyes]

I do get the "fixed" thing. Like we attract to those that we feel can benefit from what we have to offer. I attract to NTs cuz I know I can help them in the feelings department. And Js attract to me- cuz they can help me in everything I screw up in my life and procrastinate.

As for the "hating"- can you elaborate?

 

[rav3n]

I run far away from fixer uppers and fixers. This is SPARTA!

 

[ceecee]

I find that I always get into relationships with two types of women:
1) The Type that act like they hate you.
2) The Type that need to be "fixed."
Is this common among other INTJers?

I think it's common for some men, regardless of type, especially the fixing thing. I'm not quite sure what makes someone want to keep getting involved with a project person, I can only imagine it would be very exhausting and not very satisfying since they never get fixed.

 

[AzulEyes]

"Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for."
Mae West

 

[Lady_X]

my guess is that kaitie is a girl.

why you interested in chicks that act like they hate you tho? you deserve better than that.

edit: haha just realized i have no reason to assume that first part. never mind.

 

[AzulEyes]

Yeah- that's why I'm wondering if the hate is really LOVE. Such a fine line .... haha (When opposite types collide - sometimes it's fireworks disguised by hate.)

 

[1487610420]

All wimmen needs fixing..

Men need a fix...

 

[Kaitie]

As for the "hating"- can you elaborate?

Like, when they tell everyone how much they hate you, and are really dramatic. But deep down you know they like you. Half of my relationships has been with girls that act like they hate me.

 

[AzulEyes]

Like, when they tell everyone how much they hate you, and are really dramatic. But deep down you know they like you. Half of my relationships has been with girls that act like they hate me.

Why am I finding this soooo adorable?

 

[five sounds]

Like, when they tell everyone how much they hate you, and are really dramatic. But deep down you know they like you. Half of my relationships has been with girls that act like they hate me.

ehh, i'mma disagree with Azul Eyes here. that kinda game is really immature in my opinion. homie don't play that.

not sure how old you are, but it sounds like you need some more mature ladies in your life.

 

[Lexicon]

ehh, i'mma disagree with Azul Eyes here. that kinda game is really immature in my opinion. homie don't play that.

not sure how old you are, but it sounds like you need some more mature ladies in your life.

Ehh, yeah. It's one thing if it's playful "I HATE U" ribbing, but if they're behaving as though they sincerely hate you.. that's just silly. I don't see the appeal. I'm not INTJ, but I've been involved with NTJ, & this hasn't been a desirable trait beyond the aforementioned teasing, especially since you guys do it too, haha.

I think having an attraction to someone who seems to need "fixing" can happen to any type, and motivated by a variety of things. I don't really like calling it that, as it implies people are inherently broken, somehow. We all have our issues, in varying degrees. It's healthy be able to supplement one another's lives, but it's less so if you turn into their crutch. There's gotta be balance for anything sustainable.

 

[Metamorphosis]

Is this common among other INTJers?
1) The Type that act like they hate you.
2) The Type that need to be "fixed."

1. No. Not for me at least.
2. Maybe, but I think that for me it has less to do with desiring someone that needs to be fixed and more with knowing very few that seem to not need it.

I think it's common for some men, regardless of type, especially the fixing thing. I'm not quite sure what makes someone want to keep getting involved with a project person, I can only imagine it would be very exhausting and not very satisfying since they never get fixed.

My first thought is that it has to do with wanting to feel important/needed/helpful. In that regard, them never getting fixed wouldn't necessarily be a problem as long as they were improving.