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  1. #11
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I think we tend to express our compassion through actions rather than words or emotional expression. Moreover, when I act out of compassion, it is with no expectation of thanks or other return. I do it because I see a need and realize I am able to meet it. I am disappointed only when the person somehow doesn't reap the benefit of my actions.
    What if they willingly don't reap the benefit you intended?

  2. #12
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    What if they willingly don't reap the benefit you intended?
    That happens sometimes, and is particularly frustrating since it is the aspect of the action over which I probably have the least control. If this becomes a pattern, I won't bother helping that person in future.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #13
    Senior Member entpersonal's Avatar
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    Fi - compassion
    Fe - empathy

    INFJs can therefore lack compassion (surprisingly) and INTJs can often lack empathy (unsurprisingly). You might see INFJs exercising "tough love" approaches.

  4. #14
    Senior Member autumnandtherain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entpersonal View Post
    Fi - compassion
    Fe - empathy

    INFJs can therefore lack compassion (surprisingly) and INTJs can often lack empathy (unsurprisingly). You might see INFJs exercising "tough love" approaches.
    Never thought about it like this, but this is extremely accurate.

  5. #15
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    In general, I think NTs are less selfish than people think.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    In general, I think NTs are less selfish than people think.
    I think this is extremely true. I remember one day, I spent my lunch break changing a flat tire for some poor girl who didn't have a clue what she was doing. My boss was shocked that I would do something like that.

    Every NT that I can recall ever having a good relationship with, I also remember as being among the kindest people and most loyal friends I've ever had. I think that maybe sometimes (perhaps because NTs in general are relatively rare, and many people may not have much experience interacting with them), people let the stereotype of a cold, robotic, heartless heap of rational behavior be their natural mental image of an NT.

    Then again, it can also be hard to blame the people who think like that, because it's likely they think that way from having an unpleasant experience with one who was poorly developed. I'll be the first to admit that when an NT does go wrong, they can go very wrong.

  7. #17
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Cheney View Post
    Every NT that I can recall ever having a good relationship with, I also remember as being among the kindest people and most loyal friends I've ever had. I think that maybe sometimes (perhaps because NTs in general are relatively rare, and many people may not have much experience interacting with them), people let the stereotype of a cold, robotic, heartless heap of rational behavior be their natural mental image of an NT.
    Being cold, robotic, and rational is not so bad if that robotic "programming" involves helping when you are in a position to do so. This is only partially facetious. I think part of the helpfulness of NTs is exactly this: that it comes from a motivation other than our personal feelings, and thus is more consistent.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #18
    Senior Member entpersonal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaine View Post
    Like I said in my previous thread, as a kid, I liked helping people. It was to such a degree that my helpfullness seemed both weird and funny to others( like I said, I was rather naive and socially unaccustomed at that time, since I didn' t go to kindergarden because of weak health) , no one how can I be so introverted and quiet, yet so protective of others. Even then I wasn' t the feely and outgoing type, but compassion was one of the feelings I felt more often. My ultimate goal I was ready to fight for was to help people. I even wanted to become a doctor one time so I could materialise my wish. While other girls were dreaming of princes and romance, my main roles in child games were a benevolent doctor and an independent space traveller who helps everyone and does heroic stuff( I didn' t need a prince or a hero who would save me, I wanted to save everyone myself) . Yet, some events in my life occured that made me understand that not everyone deserves help, and most people are rather ungrateful for your help. I tried to destroy this " helper syndrome" inside me, yet it couldn' t go away completely. Feeling isn' t my primary function of world perception, I prefer logic, and most of time I feel nothing, things seem too minor to feel something about them. Yet when something triggers my feeling, it' s really intense, like a volcano. And though I managed to make the compassion grow weaker, and I don' t feel it as much as I used to, but it' s not something I could completely erase from my personality. And though like I said, I' m not the feely type, I rarely feel something, and I managed to partially weaken it, it still remains one of my most often felt and most intense feelings. I don' t feel other feelings much, just this one is stuck in my head since early chilhood! Like, when I see a movie, I start pitying someone terrible, I put on the stoic mask I use for such situations, but inside I want to say " C' mon let me heal you, cheer you up and give you some tea! " ( Yeah, i know it sounds lame. Maybe the reason I feel it towards the fictional characters more often is because they' re not as bitchy as real life humans. ) . What I' m asking is that can it happen to a T, if so, how common is it? And how to deal with it?
    Are you sure you're not 1w2 in enneagram. I know NTs hate that 2 wing. What can ya do?

  9. #19
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    For years and years I thought I was INFJ, but I realised I wasn't some time last year and confirmed it recently. I am still in the process of "rediscovering" my type, but I am starting to think the most likely candidate is INTJ at the end of the day. It will take time to nail it down but I am trying it on for size.

    I had a similar experience as the OP as a child. Naturally compassionate. However, I was only compassionate towards certain people, I was quite choosy. I had to like them for my own reasons. My mother is an INFJ and did an amazing job raising me as a child (not perfect, but who is). One of the things she really really pressed into me was to care for others, and be kind. I was (am) naturally pretty sensitive, so it wasn't too hard. I emulated her so much that I thought I was an INFP up until around 16, then INFJ up until 23. Mostly because that is who I wanted to be. I loathed others who were intentionally mean or harsh, and also wore some pretty heavy rose colored glasses too, and I faslely equated it with T types. Low self esteem and spiritual beliefs held me back from being my natural self.

    Ultimately though, the vast majority of my empathy towards others is learned. It was instilled in me from early aged so it stuck and I got good at it. I don't truly feel much empathy towards others unless I have directly experienced what they have in some form. Otherwise it is completely cognitive and I am pretty good at it, and can flip it off like a switch if I want to.

    I definitely think INTJ's can be compassionate, and are naturally so. I've seen plenty that were, and I have seen others who weren't. At the end of the day any type can have compassion. It's just all a matter of how it is applied and used.

  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I definitely think INTJ's can be compassionate, and are naturally so. I've seen plenty that were, and I have seen others who weren't. At the end of the day any type can have compassion. It's just all a matter of how it is applied and used.
    I think we can have a keen sense of unfairness and injustice, especially when it makes no logical sense, as with gratuitous cruelty or meanness. or even the imposition of one-size-fits-all rules and procedures.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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