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Thread: Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?

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    Blah Array Orangey's Avatar
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    Red face Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?

    I am pretty sure this topic has come up before, but as I am lazy and the forum search tool gives me the same results when I type in "shit" as when I type in "emotion", I think it is safe for me to go ahead and post this.

    Are you embarrassed by open displays of emotion?

    I personally recall one situation where two people in class were arguing (about what I don't recall, probably a political topic), and the one became angry and said something nasty to the other, resulting in both being teary eyed and agitated by the time they had done. My reaction to their emotional displays was the same the whole time- I was cringing with embarrassment for the both of them. I don't really know why...most of the people around me didn't seem embarrassed, and the interlocutors were perfectly fine with it, even afterwards. I notice that this is a pattern in my behavior.

    Is anyone else this way? It seems like something that might be attributed to "T" behavior in theory, but I'm not really certain, especially given that embarrassment is itself an emotional reaction.
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    Senior Member Array miked277's Avatar
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    i wouldn't say embarassed by it but rather it just doesn't affect me most times... or at least in public. i allow myself to become emotional or emotionally affected when i'm by myself... ya know for practice :p

    thinking about it further, the sexes of the two people i suppose would in fact play a role in determining how i would react if at all to what you described.

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    Blah Array Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miked277 View Post
    i wouldn't say embarassed by it but rather it just doesn't affect me most times... or at least in public. i allow myself to become emotional or emotionally affected when i'm by myself... ya know for practice :p

    thinking about it further, the sexes of the two people i suppose would in fact play a role in determining how i would react if at all to what you described.
    They were both women. I have seen some men get angry in debates like that as well, but never teary eyed. I think it's interesting that you become emotionally affected when alone...this is usually when I am the least emotionally perturbed.
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    Senior Member Array miked277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    They were both women. I have seen some men get angry in debates like that as well, but never teary eyed. I think it's interesting that you become emotionally affected when alone...this is usually when I am the least emotionally perturbed.
    well to be clear, it's pretty much 100% of the time caused by some sad movie i watch. i don't get emotional just sitting there thinking heh :p

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    Blah Array Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miked277 View Post
    well to be clear, it's pretty much 100% of the time caused by some sad movie i watch. i don't get emotional just sitting there thinking heh :p
    LOL I understand then. Especially if said movie is "Grave of the Fireflies".
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    Senior Member Array miked277's Avatar
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    also i think it depends on the social norms people were raised w/ in addition to thinking or feeling preference. like if your family had a lot of feelers in it or not.

    i will say this though, i do get mildly frustrated (embarassment's third cousin twice removed) when people use emotion based arguments in situations where a clear-headed logical one would better fit. which isn't to say that that is always the case. sometimes the emotion route is better suited to the situation and in those cases it works and that's great. but yeah, i suppose people just use the tools their given and in your classmates' case, it was tears.

    but yeah, i dunno exactly what the two people you're talking about were arguing about so i can't really comment further.

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    Blah Array Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miked277 View Post
    also i think it depends on the social norms people were raised w/ in addition to thinking or feeling preference. like if your family had a lot of feelers in it or not..
    True. My family certainly weren't any feelers.

    Quote Originally Posted by miked277 View Post
    i will say this though, i do get mildly frustrated (embarassment's third cousin twice removed) when people use emotion based arguments in situations where a clear-headed logical one would better fit. which isn't to say that that is always the case. sometimes the emotion route is better suited to the situation and in those cases it works and that's great. but yeah, i suppose people just use the tools their given and in your classmates' case, it was tears.

    but yeah, i dunno exactly what the two people you're talking about were arguing about so i can't really comment further.
    Well the point at which I started to feel embarrassment was the point where all argument was abandoned in favor of judgment and name calling (and tears). Being the onlooker, I was not myself invested in the actual issue being argued. If someone is arguing well with passion, I have no problem with this. I don't really feel anything at all unless they say something blatantly stupid (or go down the path of the aforementioned two). I am talking more about overt emotional reactions in general, like when someone bursts into tears over something that was said to them, or when people get so angry that they start throwing things. Then I get embarrassed for them.
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    Senior Member Array JustDave's Avatar
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    Yes, very much so. Emotions only cloud the issue. IMO, when emotions are removed from the equation it becomes much easier to solve.

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    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Sometimes. Maybe it's the introversion at work.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Senior Member Array Lateralus's Avatar
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    Not really, but I sometimes find them annoying. I come from a pretty emotional family, so I'm used to it.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

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