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  1. #41
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Well embarrassing actions and statements seem to frequently accompany embarrassing displays of emotion.
    When people say fucked up, stupid shit, I kind of feel embarrassed for them, especially when they do so in an audience consisting of people who are cognizant of the fact that they are saying fucked up, stupid shit.

    I feel embarrassed by one's apparent ignorance and, or blatant stupidity, more so than I would ever feel about one's "inappropriate" display of emotion.
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  2. #42
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    When people say fucked up, stupid shit, I kind of feel embarrassed for them, especially when they do so in an audience consisting of people who are cognizant of the fact that they are saying fucked up, stupid shit.

    I feel embarrassed by one's apparent ignorance and or blatant stupidity, more so than I would ever feel about one's "inappropriate" display of emotion.
    Yeah, but when someone is all bent out of shape about something, they are more likely to say some fucked up stupid shit . It's not a requirement though, you're right, but I would definitely be more annoyed than embarrassed by a person just saying stupid things without an emotional reaction. Then there would be no excuse for them.
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  3. #43
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Yeah, but when someone is all bent out of shape about something, they are more likely to say some fucked up stupid shit .
    This is absolutely true. And this is why we know, regarding human beings in general, that while in a heated argument, sometimes we happen to say stupid and hurtful things that we shouldn't have. This is probably due to the fact that people become defensive and reactionary when all riled up in a heated dispute.

    I have always been quite good at keeping my cool during heated debate, lol, true story, and have rarely put myself in a position of needing to feel regretful or guilty for either having falsely accused someone of something they hadn't done or said, or for having reduced myself to berating the person I happened to have been arguing with.

    I have, however, been on the receiving end of some pretty mean and low flings during an argument, but because I understand that this is a common tendency, or "side-effect" of emotionally heated, human exchange, I have been relatively forgiving of these slip-ups.

    The point, however, is this, one can still be angry while keeping their intellectual cool, and one can also be emotionally detached while being an unintelligent fool. I admire the former trait in people and absolutely disdain the latter.

    I view emotions as unconscious human reactions/instincts. One can't control how they feel, though one can control how they behave. I view emotional responses to be authentic, and sincere displays of one's self/character.

    I dunno, I just totally lost my train of thought.
    `
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    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

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  4. #44
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    The point, however, is this, one can still be angry while keeping their intellectual cool, and one can also be emotionally detached while being an unintelligent fool. I admire the former trait in people and absolutely disdain the latter.
    This is a pretty detestable trait in general.
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  5. #45
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I view emotional responses to be authentic, and sincere displays of one's self/character.
    Spoken like a true ENFP.

    I just wanted to chime in that most of the responses so far have not just been NT, but INTX. And except for CaptainC, respondants all introverted.

    Since this is a cross-type forum, just wanted to point out the obvious disclaimer that it's good to have other POVs to shake things up.

    I can understand why an NT and especially INT would be suspicious, bewildered, or even look down on an emotional response. Because it's not how you naturally re/act and you're honestly at a loss for how to respond.

    But I think regardless of type, your comfort level with other's emotional displays is directly and proportionally related to your comfort level with your own emotions.

    So if you feel out of touch, uncomfortable, disdainful, etc. of your own emotions or displays thereof, of course this is reflected in what you think of other people's emotions and emotional displays.

    And I know this was not the intent of some posters and I'm not trying to start some F/T 'black or white' diatribe (before it's been done before) but it does alarm me when I see a lot of INTX jump on the 'people who cry are weak/ emotional displays are manipulation! / superior people should be able to deal with things completely detached and without emotion etc.

    Particularly b/c real life doesn't work like that and the more discomfort you have with emotions, the more discomfort you and rough patches you are going to have in your relationships and lives in general. Human beings are throughly emotional and irrational but they are also comfortingly predictable that way. There's method to the madness!

    And since forums (including this) have a large concentration of INTXs --- yeah, just trying to give some other flava.

    Emotional displays are reminders of that wild human unknown factor, the 'sea inside'. It reminds you that you can 'know' people and never know them. That's why you have protocols in business and school, basically any large gathering place of people to separate their 'real selves' from their roles.

    And so yeah, if I saw a person in a leadership role with social standing -- say a principal of a school get psycho angry and curse at another teacher or student, yeah I'd be embarassed for them. But more for the loss of face and 'failure' on their part to uphold their role. It's not because of the emotional display itself per sae.

    Anyhow, sharing a bit of your humanity in the form of emotions DOES place an expectation on other people. What that expectation is depends largely on the perception of the one observing and yeah, you may be annoyed by feeling a burden has been placed on you. Especially if you feel the emotional display implies or necessitates a moment of intimacy that you do NOT want to share with the other person.

    Anywhoo, I'm similar to CaptainC. Emotional displays in themselves don't embarass me.

    Grief makes me uncomfortable, but only because I'm not sure what my role is supposed to be and what the boundaries should be.
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  6. #46
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    But I think regardless of type, your comfort level with other's emotional displays is directly and proportionally related to your comfort level with your own emotions..
    QFTizzle!!!

    `
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    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #47
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Anyhow, sharing a bit of your humanity in the form of emotions DOES place an expectation on other people. What that expectation is depends largely on the perception of the one observing and yeah, you may be annoyed by feeling a burden has been placed on you. Especially if you feel the emotional display implies or necessitates a moment of intimacy that you do NOT want to share with the other person.
    I absolutely feel imposed upon in situations that demand any sort of emotional intimacy in public (and often in private). I once made the mistake of taking an elective course on gender and media studies (prof was recommended by a friend), and it turned out to be my perfect idea of a nightmare. We had to sit in a big circle and basically listen to and share personal stories, and on one particular occasion, the topic of the day was about "how we felt about society's perception of our bodies". Needless to say, I had to endure some very personal stories (with all the attendant nodding, tearing up, and hugging/reassuring that this entails), and the level of emotional intimacy that it forced upon me was oppressive. I left class early that day out of pure irritation. Unfortunately it was too late to drop the class and I just had to learn to deal with it for the rest of the semester. It would have been helpful if, like you and CaptainChick, I could properly deal with people's emotional displays.

    Let it be noted that this was the first and last gender studies course that I would ever take (not that they're all that way, but I wasn't about to take any chances).
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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Well I find that these sorts of things are in general distracting, especially if you are in a class situation where you have nothing else to occupy yourself.
    In this scenario, I'd be annoyed because it's an inappropriate environment to hash out emotions. I carry a book and psp everywhere though. If I really want to detach, I don't have a problem doing so. In fact, if people are downright arguing, I'm highly likely to do so.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I once made the mistake of taking an elective course on gender and media studies (prof was recommended by a friend), and it turned out to be my perfect idea of a nightmare. We had to sit in a big circle and basically listen to and share personal stories, and on one particular occasion, the topic of the day was about "how we felt about society's perception of our bodies". Needless to say, I had to endure some very personal stories (with all the attendant nodding, tearing up, and hugging/reassuring that this entails), and the level of emotional intimacy that it forced upon me was oppressive.
    Oh dear. That's a train wreck. I would've walked out too.

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