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[INTJ] Why do people hate INTJs?

Obsidius

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I am pretty new to the forum and haven't got any experience with INTJs to begin with, so I wouldn't know from an objective perspective why they are hated. But if this forum is meant for posting your honest opinions on any subject you want to, I would say that I am pretty appalled at the things I have seen posted about INTJs from other types. And I am continually surprised by how calmly INTJ members took it. I was on PerC for some time, and I have seen similar threads like these for other types' forum. The complete opposite response. Outright denial left and right.

For example, the "why don't people like esfjs?" forum was filled with people saying "I totally don't know what everywun's (*cough* NTs *cough*) problem is! Esfjs are the bestz!" The posters who were honest were vilified. It was a real eye-opener. In some way, I am glad I learned about other types' perspective on INTJs. It encourages me to not pay attention to what others have to say about me, because it's so far removed from actual reality it's FUCKING scary. Seriously? A predator, because I don't cheese out with every person I meet? Or that I should shirk what comes naturally for me and what makes me feel embodied and become a neutered version of myself in order to appease people who don't care for me, and will never care for me?

It's like INTJs are not being treated as human beings with actual emotions, we're just these punching bags for people to take their irrational fears and frustrations out on. Anyone who is different is treated the same way. It's disheartening. I realize more and more, that we live in an age where people can sympathize with squirrels better than they empathize with other humans. I pose this rhetorical question for more common types, feeling types especially. If you know an INTJ, and you see their "sociability" as lacking, in what way did you do to help them without forcing them to change and adapt to who you want them to be, or what you think is the ideal? Because if you engage in that kind of soul-destroying behavior, you don't have much empathizing capacity yourself. At least, if someone is abstract and logical, they will be able to do what is right by a person regardless of how they actually feel towards them (think Kant's categorical imperative). Choosing to be automatically more sympathetic towards someone because their eyes squint when they smile and for all these other micromovements enacted in elapsed time displays the worst traits embedded within the human psyche and is the bedrock for society-devolving beliefs like racism, homophobia, sexism and oppression of the weak.

This forum is making me ill. Leaving.

Hey, preach it sister! But don't leave! Trust me, if you're leaving a forum because people are stereotyping, you should probably leave society as a whole, it's a natural human behaviour. Thing is, INTJ's are often treated as punching bags because HOLY SHIT can we take some punches. If the same things were said about a group of SF/NF's, we'd have a lot of whining, which isn't a bad thing, it's just how they deal with harsh criticism. If you notice though, many people love INTJ's here too, and some are neutral on the matter, but most don't like how cold and calculating we seem, even in the most heated of situations, it makes them feel nervous that they can't get an emotional rise out of us, and that no matter what; we'll refute their arguments in a cool-headed manner :) But yeah I agree with you, it does show a lack of empathy on their behalf, I have talked to several INTP's and ENTJ's that feel the same about the matter, we're often rejected in many circles, just the way things are. But don't leave! Pls! You'll fine that the stereotyping and prejudiced pest on the forum are in the minority. I was turned off at first too, but you'll see some familiar faces after a while, and it'll make dealing with them worth while :)
 
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Hey, preach it sister! But don't leave! Trust me, if you're leaving a forum because people are stereotyping, you should probably leave society as a whole, it's a natural human behaviour. Thing is, INTJ's are often treated as punching bags because HOLY SHIT can we take some punches. If the same things were said about a group of SF/NF's, we'd have a lot of whining, which isn't a bad thing, it's just how they deal with harsh criticism. If you notice though, many people love INTJ's here too, and some are neutral on the matter, but most don't like how cold and calculating we seem, even in the most heated of situations, it makes them feel nervous that they can't get an emotional rise out of us, and that no matter what; we'll refute their arguments in a cool-headed manner :) But yeah I agree with you, it does show a lack of empathy on their behalf, I have talked to several INTP's and ENTJ's that feel the same about the matter, we're often rejected in many circles, just the way things are. But don't leave! Pls! You'll fine that the stereotyping and prejudiced pest on the forum are in the minority. I was turned off at first too, but you'll see some familiar faces after a while, and it'll make dealing with them worth while :)

Thanks. And I love your siggy:).
 

uumlau

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Thanks. And I love your siggy:).

One thing you'll notice on this forum is that there are many more older members than on other forums.

The part you're missing on the part of INTJs here is the sardonic looks that simply don't work over the internet. It isn't that we "allow" INTJs to be badmouthed. It's more like we're ignoring puppies yapping.
 

uumlau

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Indeed we smell. We have noses, after all.

Pity the poor non-INTJs and their lack of noses.
 

Obsidius

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They smell.

Haha really? I have a phobia of smelling bad.. Not even joking, I have to be wearing cologne and deodorant just to stop the paranoia XD So, no, not all of us smell ;)
 

Obsidius

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One thing you'll notice on this forum is that there are many more older members than on other forums.

The part you're missing on the part of INTJs here is the sardonic looks that simply don't work over the internet. It isn't that we "allow" INTJs to be badmouthed. It's more like we're ignoring puppies yapping.
Haha this is too good! But strangely true, mainly because the complaints they often bring up are so vacuous! I find it funny that they think we take them seriously...
Kind of feel like posting this everytime: at-least-you-tried.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks. And I love your siggy:).

No worries! And haha thanks :)
 
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They smell.

Haha really? I have a phobia of smelling bad.. Not even joking, I have to be wearing cologne and deodorant just to stop the paranoia XD So, no, not all of us smell ;)

lmfao, hahahaha, omg that was the funniest thing all day. You smell fine.




ha, ok, ALERT ALERT being serious now! I don't hate 'em, if anything they hate me as I can play their logic games, except I don't always play by the rules.
 

Obsidius

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:cry:
lmfao, hahahaha, omg that was the funniest thing all day. You smell fine.




ha, ok, ALERT ALERT being serious now! I don't hate 'em, if anything they hate me as I can play their logic games, except I don't always play by the rules.

Haha I don't even mind if you hate us or not, but some of us have fun playing logic games, and a lot of us like when people don't play by the rules, very easy to call people on it ;)
 
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:cry:

Haha I don't even mind if you hate us or not, but some of us have fun playing logic games, and a lot of us like when people don't play by the rules, very easy to call people on it ;)

Don't know what your knowledge of MBTI is, but while logic isn't an ENTP's bread and butter, it is most definitely one of our favorite play things, so I love logic games as well.

I think a running critique of INTJs is their emotional coldness, but I'm emotionally retarded/void/something so doesn't bother me.






My older brother is an INTJ and a smarter man than I, but I'm more clever. Like a fox.








5030248646a6153170665l.jpg
 

Obsidius

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Don't know what your knowledge of MBTI is, but while logic isn't an ENTP's bread and butter, it is most definitely one of our favorite play things, so I love logic games as well.

I think a running critique of INTJs is their emotional coldness, but I'm emotionally retarded/void/something so doesn't bother me.






My older brother is an INTJ and a smarter man than I, but I'm more clever. Like a fox.








5030248646a6153170665l.jpg

I fucking wish I was emotionally void! Unfortunately I'm fairly low on the T (I'm more accurately an INxJ, or even INxx), but I usually score INTJ. I do know ENTP's like logic, as all NT's do, I guess I'm a seasoned debater/arguer off and online, so I enjoy it a lot, one of my main hobbies :) I like logic because you can prove them wrong whilst ignoring facts, that pisses people off the most, just for a bit of amusement XD Haha yeah I identify with you on that one, I'm a different kind of intelligence, more wit than pure knowledge, so I like to dance with words and quips, I always like having a partner in crime though ;)
 

BadOctopus

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I think, in addition to the emotional coldness of many INTJs, one of the major issues people have with us is the arrogance. Or rather, perceived arrogance. I don't set out to be arrogant, but people often see me that way. I'm confident, and I speak with authority... otherwise I don't speak at all. But that's not the same as arrogance.

I think people often confuse confidence with arrogance. Arrogance means being condescending, putting others down, and acting like you have an answer for everything, even when you don't. Confidence is being sure of what you know -- and what you don't know. A confident person knows his limitations, and isn't too proud to admit when he's wrong.

I don't doubt that some INTJs are arrogant. Any type can be. But I think it's more likely that INTJs simply present a frank, direct, self-assured air that many people perceive as arrogance.
 

uumlau

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I think, in addition to the emotional coldness of many INTJs, one of the major issues people have with us is the arrogance. Or rather, perceived arrogance. I don't set out to be arrogant, but people often see me that way. I'm confident, and I speak with authority... otherwise I don't speak at all. But that's not the same as arrogance.

I think people often confuse confidence with arrogance. Arrogance means being condescending, putting others down, and acting like you have an answer for everything, even when you don't. Confidence is being sure of what you know -- and what you don't know. A confident person knows his limitations, and isn't too proud to admit when he's wrong.

I don't doubt that some INTJs are arrogant. Any type can be. But I think it's more likely that INTJs simply present a frank, direct, self-assured air that many people perceive as arrogance.

Exactly.

But as true as all that is, it is quite advantageous, I've found, to determine which turns of speech engender that perception of arrogance and eliminate them. One can speak with just as much authority with gentler words that encourage others to listen.
 

BadOctopus

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Exactly.

But as true as all that is, it is quite advantageous, I've found, to determine which turns of speech engender that perception of arrogance and eliminate them. One can speak with just as much authority with gentler words that encourage others to listen.
Word.

I'm sure that characteristic INTJ bluntness doesn't help. lol
 
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I fucking wish I was emotionally void! Unfortunately I'm fairly low on the T (I'm more accurately an INxJ, or even INxx), but I usually score INTJ. I do know ENTP's like logic, as all NT's do, I guess I'm a seasoned debater/arguer off and online, so I enjoy it a lot, one of my main hobbies :) I like logic because you can prove them wrong whilst ignoring facts, that pisses people off the most, just for a bit of amusement XD Haha yeah I identify with you on that one, I'm a different kind of intelligence, more wit than pure knowledge, so I like to dance with words and quips, I always like having a partner in crime though ;)


Yeah yo, I'm more of a "working facts" kind of guy. I don't need to know every damn term or detail about a subject. Using wit, creativity, and quickness, I can run circles around just about anyone in an argument. And you're right about pissing people off, though I will generally try to keep it at total frustration.

And to bring up my bro again (only INTJ I know well IRL), I mean he's a fuckin' surgeon but while he is still a very good debater, he doesn't even try with me anymore. I'll either smoke him with clever thinking backed up with at least some facts, or embarrass him at the dinner table for some fallacy he made.

You shall now be called, Dances With Words. Well maybe not yet, we'll have to see what ya got ; )
 
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I think, in addition to the emotional coldness of many INTJs, one of the major issues people have with us is the arrogance. Or rather, perceived arrogance. I don't set out to be arrogant, but people often see me that way. I'm confident, and I speak with authority... otherwise I don't speak at all. But that's not the same as arrogance.

I think people often confuse confidence with arrogance. Arrogance means being condescending, putting others down, and acting like you have an answer for everything, even when you don't. Confidence is being sure of what you know -- and what you don't know. A confident person knows his limitations, and isn't too proud to admit when he's wrong.

I don't doubt that some INTJs are arrogant. Any type can be. But I think it's more likely that INTJs simply present a frank, direct, self-assured air that many people perceive as arrogance.

Yeah, I don't know how true this stereotype is, but I've noticed a lot of INTJs are pretty good knowledge bases, so they often talk like they know a subject very well, usually because they do. But that can get perceived as arrogance. Not by me though.

But wait, this is the hate thread sooooo you INTJs also have extra weird feet.
 

BadOctopus

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Yeah, I don't know how true this stereotype is, but I've noticed a lot of INTJs are pretty good knowledge bases, so they often talk like they know a subject very well, usually because they do. But that can get perceived as arrogance. Not by me though.

But wait, this is the hate thread sooooo you INTJs also have extra weird feet.
Yeah, well... You smell like cheese.
 

GarrotTheThief

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hmmm...this is interesting.

I've oft' wondered if I was an INTJ because in real life I tend to be very quiet if not engaged in an interest...

I tend to say things like, "good evening, hello, good afternoon, yes sir, have a great day, indeed, etc..." very robotic impersonal greetings for lack of being more dynamic and warm in that regard, and I get a sense it throws people off because the common man or woman is not used to these Victorian styled greetings - I blame it on reading, the more I read the more removed I become from the status quo.

That being said, when I am talking about goals, objectives, working out, guitar, quantum physics in the new age philosophical sense, and talking about objective facts, many of which even other entj's and intj's fail to recognize, such as the fact that ideas exist outside of our thought space, which is verifiable by the very fact that any invention before conception is invented in at least half a dozen other places on the planet, I often times mentally mind blast the other person with a slew of words and facts beyond the horizon of their mind-space, for lack of better word.

But if you really know me I kick back and I'm like, "groovy dude" and we just kind of chill and I end up being quite silly like Charlie, but you know it goes like that, the dance....

Here's the other thing too...I notice this with INTJ's and it's been said about me - we tend to have something else going on in the background of our minds while being present, it seems we are always plotting or scheming when we are intuitively feeling out things using introverted intuition....it seems intentional and malignant but it's really just how we process.

To an ESTP this could seem sort of villainous, to not be fully present, or to always think things out for yourself based on the future.

I'm told the fact that I assume people know the words I'm using and didn't initially Gage what words to use based on certain criteria I had asbergian traits which I think are just natural traits for an NT...

So imagine going up to a guy and talking for five minutes using the words, "benign, zenith, nadir, counterpoint, facetious" words like that which we take for granted and thinking the other "guy" is paying attention when really he is thinking to himself, "this guy is a total douche bag, doesn't he know I didn't graduate from a good highschool. Is he trying to make me look dumb?"
 
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