User Tag List

Page 81 of 104 FirstFirst ... 3171798081828391 ... LastLast
Results 801 to 810 of 1035

Thread: Why do people hate INTJs?

  1. #801
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ixfp
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INFp None
    Posts
    7,134

    Default

    I've found typically with INTJs that I need to calibrate to their communication style because it doesn't tend to accommodate the established etiquette, but once you learn what they mean in their use of words (just a bit harsher, more direct than the norm), then you realize it's common for the INTJ to have very positive motives. I'm very close to an older INTJ woman who offends people with her directness, but she confided in me that she has never intended to hurt anyone in her life. There can be a purity of intention in the INTJ, but their directness can be startling to people. Cut them a little slack and you can find an awesome person to know.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN

    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
    Likes chubber, grey_beard liked this post

  2. #802
    if not, winter Array magpie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    614 sx/so
    Socionics
    ESI Fi
    Posts
    2,818

    Default

    When I don't get on with an INTJ, it is usually because I have found them to be domineering, authoritarian, or insensitive. But not all INTJs are this way, and other types can have those same qualities too.
    Likes N/A liked this post

  3. #803
    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    14,811

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I've found typically with INTJs that I need to calibrate to their communication style because it doesn't tend to accommodate the established etiquette, but once you learn what they mean in their use of words (just a bit harsher, more direct than the norm), then you realize it's common for the INTJ to have very positive motives. I'm very close to an older INTJ woman who offends people with her directness, but she confided in me that she has never intended to hurt anyone in her life. There can be a purity of intention in the INTJ, but their directness can be startling to people. Cut them a little slack and you can find an awesome person to know.
    Have you ever discussed this with any of the INTJs, or asked them specifically to explain their communication style, or to adjust to be a bit closer to yours? Or do you just go with it and eventually figure it out?

    I ask because only once have I ever had someone point out that my communication style was making it hard for us to communicate and interact productively. I wonder now how common this might be, and how many people think the same thing but never say anything.
    A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
    A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door, and a word that shall echo for evermore!
    For, borne on the night-wind of the Past, through all our history, to the last,
    In the hour of darkness and peril and need, the people will waken and listen to hear

    -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  4. #804
    yap yap yap Array xenaprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    MBTI
    infp
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    609

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Have you ever discussed this with any of the INTJs, or asked them specifically to explain their communication style, or to adjust to be a bit closer to yours? Or do you just go with it and eventually figure it out?

    I ask because only once have I ever had someone point out that my communication style was making it hard for us to communicate and interact productively. I wonder now how common this might be, and how many people think the same thing but never say anything.
    Oy vey. My SO is an INTJ and his communication style when stressed can be insane (barking orders). When at his most insensitive toward others, he is also the most sensitive/defensive. It is very, very annoying, and I'm not sure it's typical for all INTJ's.

    At those moments, the last thing I can do is point out his communication style. I usually have to wait for a later moment to mention it, whereupon he may still become defensive, then calm down, then understand what I've said. If I bring anything up in the moment, it will lead to WWIII and I'm not always in the mood for that.

    This happens just about every single high stress moment, for instance while traveling. The first day of travel will involve a rush (him thinking he has to 'do everything' even though it is vacation and there is zero need to rush). Then an argument (most likely about how he has to 'do everything'). Then the declaration that 'this happens every single time we travel', whereupon I hold back from saying 'because you are stressed out for no reason at all, just chill the f- out!'.

    This also applies to driving in high traffic and when trying to repair something at home.

    I just don't understand the rush or the blaming. I am much more laid back and calm. But sometimes, the INTJ walks about with a gigantic stick up his butt.
    Likes SearchingforPeace liked this post

  5. #805
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,694

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xenaprincess View Post
    Oy vey. My SO is an INTJ and his communication style when stressed can be insane (barking orders). When at his most insensitive toward others, he is also the most sensitive/defensive. It is very, very annoying, and I'm not sure it's typical for all INTJ's.

    At those moments, the last thing I can do is point out his communication style. I usually have to wait for a later moment to mention it, whereupon he may still become defensive, then calm down, then understand what I've said. If I bring anything up in the moment, it will lead to WWIII and I'm not always in the mood for that.

    This happens just about every single high stress moment, for instance while traveling. The first day of travel will involve a rush (him thinking he has to 'do everything' even though it is vacation and there is zero need to rush). Then an argument (most likely about how he has to 'do everything'). Then the declaration that 'this happens every single time we travel', whereupon I hold back from saying 'because you are stressed out for no reason at all, just chill the f- out!'.

    This also applies to driving in high traffic and when trying to repair something at home.

    I just don't understand the rush or the blaming. I am much more laid back and calm. But sometimes, the INTJ walks about with a gigantic stick up his butt.
    Sounds like Enneagram type 1 at play, here. No it's not "typical INTJ", just one of many possible patterns. MBTI describes very particular aspects of personality that are consequences of cognitive tendencies. Ennagram describes those aspects of personality due to coping mechanisms. The type 1 coping mechanism is to take charge and make sure everything is done right. (As I'm only going by a few paragraphs of information, it might also be type 8, except type 8s are more consistently angry and forceful, while type 1s are only angry and forceful when things aren't going their way.)
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  6. #806
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,694

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I've found typically with INTJs that I need to calibrate to their communication style because it doesn't tend to accommodate the established etiquette, but once you learn what they mean in their use of words (just a bit harsher, more direct than the norm), then you realize it's common for the INTJ to have very positive motives. I'm very close to an older INTJ woman who offends people with her directness, but she confided in me that she has never intended to hurt anyone in her life. There can be a purity of intention in the INTJ, but their directness can be startling to people. Cut them a little slack and you can find an awesome person to know.
    This is the usual dynamic I have with INFJs. Initially they're wary. But once they pay attention and read me in person, they by and large tend to think I'm quite awesome. (I've had lots of INFJ friends. They tend to be very long-term friendships! Oh, and my Mom was INFJ, too, so I kind of grew up with the dynamic.) I think that the key to the INFJ-INTJ dynamic is that the sharing of Ni enables us to read each other much better than other types can read us. The Te/Fe differences are minimized as long as we aren't stuck doing text-only communication.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Have you ever discussed this with any of the INTJs, or asked them specifically to explain their communication style, or to adjust to be a bit closer to yours? Or do you just go with it and eventually figure it out?

    I ask because only once have I ever had someone point out that my communication style was making it hard for us to communicate and interact productively. I wonder now how common this might be, and how many people think the same thing but never say anything.
    In my experience, no one, especially the Fe or Ti types, bothers to point out the faults of my communication style. Instead, they try to "drop hints" which usually end up coming across as snide and cruel. Almost universally, when such criticism has occurred, it was blamed on inherent personality flaws, not on mere style. E.g., I must be "uncaring" to have expressed a point of view, even though I only expressed it because I do care.

    Conversely, such people are just as intransigent w/r to changing their own communication styles.

    The main thing I've learned is that I have needed to adjust my overall attitude. It is easy for contempt to slip out when one is impatient with how slowly everyone else seems to think. (See? Even now, it sounds contemptuous!) I have to keep in mind the truth is that those other people are actually very fast thinkers w/r to things I think slowly about, so it's natural that when in the realm of my cognitive strengths, I need to be patient and let them figure things out for themselves.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
    Likes labyrinthine liked this post

  7. #807
    Senior Member Array Proctor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    103

    Default

    I didn't know that INTJs are "hated". There's plenty of threads about INTJs being too cold or arrogant, but then there are also numerous threads complaining about other types. In general I've noticed a relatively positive attitude towards INTJs on the internet. There's even a certain measure of respect there. I'm not saying this is deserved, it's simply what I've experienced.

    As @Coriolis mentioned (years ago), I do find it strange that we're considered intimidating. Plenty of people are confident in they're opinions and not considered threatening. I wonder if this is actually true. Maybe it's become a standard assumption at this point, born out of ignorance. And the expectation of an intimidating INTJ outweighs the reality.

    I can be intimidating, but that's only because I'm 6' 3, broad and generally have a blank expression. So plenty of people will find that worrying, which makes sense. But I don't think that anyone who's talked to me for more than an hour would continue to see me in the same light.

  8. #808
    Schemata Architect Array CognitiveLiberty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    284

    Default

    People don't hate INTJs - INTJs hate people. Jokes aside.

    I think INTJs get a bad rep because many people have in their minds the INTJ archetype as the 'INTJ douche', the arrogant, trollish, pseudo-intellectual type. These 'atheists with a fedora' are of course only a small subsection of the diverse INTJ population but it is what many people associate with INTJs.

    I believe there are two reasons for this:

    1) The 'INTJ arrogance' is very distinctive, which means arrogant INTJs are very easy to type, and this ease of typing strengthens the association.

    2) In typology circles, there is something of a meme of immature INTJs making a point of "intj master race".

    The one INTJ I knew in high school was a reasonably nice guy but he clearly did not like people. He kept to himself and was a modest, quiet achiever. He got the top prize at high school prizegiving but didn't attend the ceremony to study. Through hard work and spirit he was able to push past his severe dyslexia and get exceptional academic success in spite of this. He was probably the most hard working, diligent, and intelligent people I've ever met, and had a great deal of respect. As an NT, i respect his intellectual dexterity, but I can see why perhaps an SP might find him very aversive. An ENFP I knew once came up to him and asked "Why do you hate everyone". He was very surprised, and I think awkwardly replied "You're mistaken in thinking that".

    His one flaw is that he clearly doesn't like people but is mature about it. If people try socialize with him (especially if he's busy or they are people he semi looks down on) he will be pleasant and humour them, but there still was a feeling of a conspicuous lack of Fe (and I'm an INTP aspie). Stereotypically INTJs are the types to go around calling people "fucking retards", he certainly wasn't like that, but still kind of gave a subtle, intuitive impression of looking down at you.

    More immature INTJs especially ones not in tune with their Fi, project their insecurity of lack of social skills onto others i,e "they aren't worth talking to anyway". The mix of Ni-Fi can give them a childish antagonistic arrogance and projecting their insecurities onto others.

    I don't think INTJ has particularly more douches than any other type, it's just that the INTJ douches make it very clear they are INTJ.
    Last edited by CognitiveLiberty; 10-06-2015 at 05:50 AM. Reason: added extra
    Johari Nohari
    5 cp6 9w1 4w5 sx/sp | RLUAI | INTP ILI-Ni

  9. #809
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,143

    Default

    cuz they smell like onions and pizza
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf

  10. #810
    Schemata Architect Array CognitiveLiberty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    284

    Default

    You've obviously never met one. INTJs body odour is a mix of


    This is an indisputable fact, and if you disagree,
    .
    Johari Nohari
    5 cp6 9w1 4w5 sx/sp | RLUAI | INTP ILI-Ni

Page 81 of 104 FirstFirst ... 3171798081828391 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Why do people hate tradional thoughts and practices?
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 05-08-2014, 08:01 PM
  2. Why do people love to hate Kristen Stewart?
    By gromit in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-21-2012, 07:20 PM
  3. [INFP] Why do people Hate the idea of being INFP?
    By CrystalViolet in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 95
    Last Post: 05-23-2011, 10:39 PM
  4. [INTJ] Why do people seem to dislike INTJs?
    By RenaiReborn in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 201
    Last Post: 06-03-2009, 08:36 AM
  5. [INTJ] Why do people Pretend to be INTJ's?
    By Dominicus Griswold in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 08-26-2008, 10:58 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •