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Thread: Why do people hate INTJs?

  1. #291
    Senior Member Array Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Coriolis asked why it was intimidating. I'm just clarifying why it would be experienced that way
    That description was intimidating? Really?
    From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines.

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    Butterfly up. Array Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    That description was intimidating? Really?
    *pats the Kitty* I wouldn't expect a Te-dom to understand
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  3. #293
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot Array SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    People mistype I don't think there is a precedent for a certain type as such, although others will probably disagree and I have heard things such as "INFP ENFP's are the most indecisive about their type".
    Fixed.

    @ OP About the whole INTJ hate thing. I don't share it. I think it has something to do with their Ni/Te. It's like they know something and know it and also think that you don't know what they know and may appear smug about it, ya know?
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

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    Cheeseburgers Array freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    I hate looking like a know-it-all to people, but I know I'm often perceived that way. It takes conscious effort for the INTJ to make sure they aren't acting like jerks. Got to remember to switch perspectives and look at things the way the other party would see them.
    You lose.

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  5. #295
    Analytical Dreamer Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Still wondering why people are intimidated, scared or at the very least uncomfortable and mildly offended when talking to you?
    Offended and uncomfortable I can understand, but I don't see what is scary or threatening about any of what you have (mostly correctly) summarized, unless it's just fear of the unknown, as others have mentioned.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #296
    failed poetry slam career Array chubber's Avatar
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    Sometimes, people just want to punch you in the face.

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    Butterfly up. Array Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Offended and uncomfortable I can understand, but I don't see what is scary or threatening about any of what you have (mostly correctly) summarized, unless it's just fear of the unknown, as others have mentioned.
    Fear of the unknown is certainly a factor.

    People dont like talking to a predator. It is a stupid thing to do. They might use what you say against you- especially if they seem to only need a little information and somehow magically get a hold of the rest. For that matter, even if youre secure enough that you can handle yourself, is not fun to endure that kind of conversation where yoy feel like the ant.Not to mention its a fucking useless convo as they refuse to share the info and make you feel like a moron in the process.

    But most importantly, our species is a collaborative one. And it is the failure or refusal or unawareness of the need to establish an actual rapport to foster even the most basic trust between you and your tribesmen that is at the base of their response to you, and at the base for their - imho at least somewhat legitimate - perception of you being a potential threat.

    People pleasing and accomodation is the norm in a multi-individualed culture like ours - one you dont even seem aware of or if you are, you seem to indicate that all the bending and flexing should come from the other person. That kind of behavior is normally only employed when there is no time to argue and people are expected to fall in line for their own good -and preferably by a leader who has already proven he has the groups wellbeing in mind and has earned goodwill from most of the people there. It s an almost instinctual response. So what is it the intj is seeing but not sharing that requires this falling in line - especially as building goodwill is bypassed. It must be urgent and important as he seems quite serious, adamant, confident about this and competent.

    And, can i trust him at all, considering the conversation gave me the feeling that im just a pawn to him anyways. A stupid one at that. Is my wellbeing even considered by this person or am i just collateral damage. Iow, the herdlike insecurity you -as an intj- cause in a person can target their self esteem, their sense of safety, cause paranoia and other fears. Which in turn leads to resentment and feeling like a fool making you the asshole who stressed them apparently just for fun, just coz you couldnt take two seconds, focus on the connection with the person in front of you, establish some goodwill through that warm focus and make them realise you do recognize them as one of your own instead of as an object, prey or cannon fodder.

    Its kind of normal to be part of the group and demonstrate that you are as a social animal so others know where they stand with you, and what to expect from you. And that natural need and communication of that kind of basic reassurance seems to pass you by. Which in turn is likely to get you the 'who the fuck are you response fom assertive people and fear, paranoia and avoidance from those that are conflict avoided.

    in essence, you're depriving them now of two pieces of information: the information you get through Ni about the situation, and information as to their status with you (Fe information). Lack of information can get you killed. And someone who seems to be deliberately withholding that information from you doesn't exactly inspire a lot of trust, so the INTjs ulterior motives and agendas will be speculated on to make up for the gap in information they're creating.

    It's the difference between being invited to an audience with the Godfather, with you sitting down in front of him and him staring you down as he lays out how it's going to be - without informing you what he intends to do with you afterwards, and having a friendly chat with someone you just met who is smiling and inviting you to sit right next to her on a bench. You bet it is threatening and intimidating.

    Disclaimer: this is meant as a description of what goes on between people who don't know each other and in a situation where the INTJ would not naturally show warmth towards this person - because he is too young/unaware to use Fi properly, too preoccupied with the situation, too new to this person to display any warmth yet, whatever it be - and a person who expects at least some rapport - be it coz it is a group setting, or a personal setting. Business is often the dominion of Te and there this kind of interaction usually works better as the hierarchy isn't established by group or personal connections; it's established by the position you hold in the company (though even there you can encounter the problem with colleagues in a more informal setting, like during a lunch break).
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  8. #298
    failed poetry slam career Array chubber's Avatar
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    Does Coriolis have Fe and not Fi?

  9. #299
    Unapologetic being Array Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    A few things come to mind here. I think it may be a combination of some of these which are various times take on different levels of importance with different INTJs exhibiting more or less of these characteristics:
    - Brevity and directness of communication style
    - A tendency to confront when we disagree
    - The context shift, which involves bringing up a different point of view
    - A tendency to not acknowledge what the other person is saying
    - If 10 things are said and we disagree with 1 point in 10, that's what we focus on; people don't realize we actually agree on those 9 points
    - A failure to explain our thinking or reasoning

    That outward communications style can mislead people into thinking we're not open to or listening to what they are saying.
    Can you explain the 4th point more?

    I often find myself getting so agitated on the inside about others repeating themselves...

    It really bothers me that they think I don't hear them. I hear everything. I just have my eye on the prize and if I have to put my pointer finger up or say hold on...I lose my thought. And have to start from the beginning again. I despise these types of situations at work. I am constantly telling people if I don't answer you... it's cause I'm in the middle of something. I will get back to you and look you in the eye in 5 mins. They don't seem to get it though, even though I have never said hold on and NOT gotten back to them...therefore disproving any sort of paranoia that I don't pay attention to them.. *eye twitches* I still feel like it's an insult to my intelligence that they get upset and repeat themselves just because I didn't stop everything that I'm doing to apply the proper social protocols immediately... -_-

    Do INTJ's not acknowledge ppl at all...? Or? idk do you have examples?

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    So you think the perceived lack of openness is the root of the feeling of intimidation?
    I don't really think it's lack of openness. It's the perceived part that matters. I think it's lack of caring about social protocol. ntj's have priorities that don't involve people. That kills peoples' egos. Ego is something that we use as a defense mechanism as to not get hurt. When ego is hurt...then people are really hurt. It's their own insecurities getting in their way.

    I have to say that I have tried to put myself in a feelers shoes...specifically an isfj's that I know. And they are having feelings...like...all day more than I would be comfortable with. So they base a lot of their decisions off of "what feeling" they get off a person. Or you could just say "What vibe" they get. If I was primarily basing my decisions off of what kind of vibe I got from someone...I could see how intj's don't give off any vibe...therefore I can't appropriately make a decision in response to them. That lack of control would bother me. Therefore the intj would have a little bit of power in that respect over me. Power often creates intimidation, hence why I could sorta understand why ppl could be intimidated.

    That is, coming from an E6/breaking it down in my Te lingo pov lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I know that is often the case, but there's got to be more to it than that. I have a hard time understanding ESFs, for instance, but I hardly find them intimidating.
    Nah, people are not complicated, unfortunately. It's probably just that simple.

    I often dislike when people tell me I'm overanalyzing something...but in this situation...you're probably overanalyzing I don't think that it's much more than their fear getting the best of them. In a sense it's like people can't read other people without the proper social gestures being displayed. People probably feel out of control, cause they cannot predict how an intj will react, so the lack of control makes them feel fear.

    This is all just me guessing though.

    Amargith seems to know what she's talking about. I have found that she has defined a great deal of why people don't understand Te or Ni in this thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by mhc View Post
    "Well, I don't think the problem is in the judgment, so much as it's in the lack of receptiveness to criticism and the acceptance of individuality."

    Maybe the criticism comes from being judged. if one is insecure in who they think they are, any judgment could be perceived as a threat to ones own believe of who they are. By this same logic, maybe if one is emotionally detached from judgment, it is because they are confident in knowing who they are.

    perhaps the judger does not understand the emotions caused in others for being judged, because the judger assumes that others have the same understanding of ones self, and would not understand the cause of conflict with the judgee, as the judge is only trying to find likeness in others??
    If you are saying that people just need to remember that not everyone thinks like them then I agree...that would help to solve some of the problem.
    @Amargith

    Again, your insight is always appreciated.

  10. #300
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    If you are saying that people just need to remember that not everyone thinks like them then I agree...that would help to solve some of the problem.
    yes that exactly what i meant. people will always remain infinitely different to one another, and the only definite likeness one can ultimately find is in themselves. If everyone were to practice acceptance, and actually accept others for who they are, the infinitely different ideas brought forth by people from the infinite source of knowledge could then be utilised.

    or

    no idea is not worthy of attention or worthy of inattention, except the idea that thinks another idea is

    also

    ultimately, the only one that is actually capable of doing anything to one is one. or even if you hate another, you are hating yourself in that person or you are hating yourself or you hate what you see in that person as you hate that about yourself etc etc. all examples of flawed reasonings. you are everything, love it or hate it, an idea that you can debate on a humanly scale if you want.
    If you see Eve, tell her I'm growing tired of walking the ends of the earth in trying to tell her no

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