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  1. #271
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I'll ask one. Just what makes INTJs seem intimidating, especially online where all we have is each other's typed words? This may seem obvious, but it isn't. It is more like an assumption, a stereotype people throw around but never justify with detail or example.
    A few things come to mind here. I think it may be a combination of some of these which are various times take on different levels of importance with different INTJs exhibiting more or less of these characteristics:
    - Brevity and directness of communication style
    - A tendency to confront when we disagree
    - The context shift, which involves bringing up a different point of view
    - A tendency to not acknowledge what the other person is saying
    - If 10 things are said and we disagree with 1 point in 10, that's what we focus on; people don't realize we actually agree on those 9 points
    - A failure to explain our thinking or reasoning

    That outward communications style can mislead people into thinking we're not open to or listening to what they are saying.

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  2. #272
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    That outward communications style can mislead people into thinking we're not open to or listening to what they are saying.
    So you think the perceived lack of openness is the root of the feeling of intimidation?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #273
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    So you think the perceived lack of openness is the root of the feeling of intimidation?
    I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.

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  4. #274
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.
    I have always been able to understand the misunderstanding part much better than the intimidation factor. Why, when people misunderstand us, don't they instead find us rude, or weird, or stupid, or even laughable rather than intimidating? Intimidation implies an element of fear or threat, which seems to go well beyond simple misunderstanding. Do people really feel threatened, and if so, by what??
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #275
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I have always been able to understand the misunderstanding part much better than the intimidation factor. Why, when people misunderstand us, don't they instead find us rude, or weird, or stupid, or even laughable rather than intimidating? Intimidation implies an element of fear or threat, which seems to go well beyond simple misunderstanding. Do people really feel threatened, and if so, by what??
    Because we fear what we don't understand?

    Edit: Oh and many times they do find us rude, weird or stupid

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  6. #276
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Because we fear what we don't understand?
    I know that is often the case, but there's got to be more to it than that. I have a hard time understanding ESFs, for instance, but I hardly find them intimidating.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #277
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.
    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Because we fear what we don't understand?

    Edit: Oh and many times they do find us rude, weird or stupid
    That sums it up nicely.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I know that is often the case, but there's got to be more to it than that. I have a hard time understanding ESFs, for instance, but I hardly find them intimidating.
    Why do you have a hard time understanding them? Can you give us an example?

  8. #278
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    Why do you have a hard time understanding them? Can you give us an example?
    Speaking, of course, only of the ones I have interacted with directly: I cannot understand why they make the choices they do, how they like what they like, how they even get by in life sometimes. On a more immediate level, often it seems like we are just talking past each other, as if they didn't even hear much less understand what I said. This is even with straightforward logistical matters, not deep or esoteric topics. For instance, we could be planning a social event, and the other person expresses concern that the coffee won't be ready on time because the large coffee urn takes so long to brew. I will point out that this won't be a problem if someone arrives 30 minutes early to start it, and even offer to do so myself, but the other person will just keep saying, "the coffee won't be ready on time". I just want to shake some sense into them, but usually just give up in frustration and leave them to their own devices.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #279

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    They seem to be viewed as narcissistic elitists by many people of other types (or perhaps even by some within their own type), and I'm wondering how accurate these perceptions really may be, or why people actually develop them to begin with.
    maybe, people do not liked to be judged, as they prefer to think they know who they are based on their own judgements? also, maybe in introversion, ones feelings are expressed in the motives of ones actions, wether they are hidden in logic or not? causing the introvert to not understand why others have been emotionally moved by a seemingly logical action?

    then perhaps, the only way for the cycle of hate and judgement to be broken, would be for the one judging to realise one has judged and been hated, and the one who has hated to realise that one has hated for being judged?

    and further i add, would personality typing be relevant if everyone practiced acceptance, for why would one judge, causing introversion, if one had not been judged in the first place? as above all, any being will seek out acceptance or acknowledgement, by any means possible. after all, what greater fear is there than that of being alone?

  10. #280
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    Quote Originally Posted by mhc View Post
    maybe, people do not liked to be judged, as they prefer to think they know who they are based on their own judgements? also, maybe in introversion, ones feelings are expressed in the motives of ones actions, wether they are hidden in logic or not? causing the introvert to not understand why others have been emotionally moved by a seemingly logical action?
    Hmm, perhaps an introverted focus could make one more detached from the feelings of others, possibly leading to actions that promote negative feedback.

    then perhaps, the only way for the cycle of hate and judgement to be broken, would be for the one judging to realise one has judged and been hated, and the one who has hated to realise that one has hated for being judged?
    Well, I don't think the problem is in the judgment, so much as it's in the lack of receptiveness to criticism and the acceptance of individuality.

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