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  1. #1
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    Default WHen An INTJ Feels Out of Character

    Right now, I'm unemployed, and I don't feel any fire in the belly, which is decisively out of character for an INTJ. I have always loved to be verbal, outspoken, and argue, but right now, I'm mostly silent, minus the spark to debate. When I used to talk, one sentence led to the next, but now I'm not. Also, I find, for the first time in my life, to be using my intuition manipulatively.

    Ironically, I've found relations with my family smoother than ever, but I've never been a bigger liar. Also, I'm not driven to finish what I start, like I've shifted from a J to a P, and turned mentally sloppy. Anybody else felt like this?

    I wonder if my introverted intuition has suddenly turned extrovert, or something; at any rate, it's annoying. I'm not enjoying myself, and it's so superficial, anticipating how others react, and adjusting. I also have felt an ego, which is also out of sorts. Even when I ranted and raved, I at least I knew what I wanted, but I can't say that, now. It's pathetic.

    Any suggestions on returning to form?

  2. #2
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noitartst View Post
    Right now, I'm unemployed, and I don't feel any fire in the belly, which is decisively out of character for an INTJ. I have always loved to be verbal, outspoken, and argue, but right now, I'm mostly silent, minus the spark to debate. When I used to talk, one sentence led to the next, but now I'm not. Also, I find, for the first time in my life, to be using my intuition manipulatively.

    Ironically, I've found relations with my family smoother than ever, but I've never been a bigger liar. Also, I'm not driven to finish what I start, like I've shifted from a J to a P, and turned mentally sloppy. Anybody else felt like this?

    I wonder if my introverted intuition has suddenly turned extrovert, or something; at any rate, it's annoying. I'm not enjoying myself, and it's so superficial, anticipating how others react, and adjusting. I also have felt an ego, which is also out of sorts. Even when I ranted and raved, I at least I knew what I wanted, but I can't say that, now. It's pathetic.

    Any suggestions on returning to form?
    First, sloppiness isn't a "P" trait. It stems from malaise/disinterest.

    I think you are relying on the MBTI as a panacea to blanket the real problems in your life.

    Without referencing Jungian type, I'd recommend re-evaluating elements of your life that you feel are out of control. Begin with tiny steps.

    A lack of perceived personal power often results in a sort-of psychological rebellion; people will try to supplement their presumed deficiencies by overcompensating and/or redirecting potentially negative perception from others.

    Pick yourself up. Find a job - any job. Self-worth will follow. Exercise. Follow through.

    You'll be fine.

  3. #3
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Sounds like you may be depressed (not clinically). How long has this been going on? Is this a particularly stressful time for you?

    Boredom is extremely depressing. Back when I was unemployed, my body morphed into a vegetable, and my self esteem plummeted. Solution? Volunteer somewhere whilst you look for another job. Keep physically active.

    Good luck.

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  4. #4
    Senior Member dnivera's Avatar
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    The job search sucks (I'm going through the same thing right now, so I hear ya). The best thing to do is get yourself into a semblance of your former routine. Get up early, take care of yourself properly (eat and sleep), and do the activities that you enjoy.

    Definitely give yourself time to have fun! Watch a movie, go out with friends, whatever. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
    Si>Ti>Te>Ne>Fe>Ni>Fi>Se

    Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%
    Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%
    Thinking (T) 61.29% Feeling (F) 38.71%
    Judging (J) 71.88% Perceiving (P) 28.13%

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Sounds like you may be depressed (not clinically). How long has this been going on? Is this a particularly stressful time for you?

    Boredom is extremely depressing. Back when I was unemployed, my body morphed into a vegetable, and my self esteem plummeted. Solution? Volunteer somewhere whilst you look for another job. Keep physically active.

    Good luck.
    THat at least, I have done. Most of my life I've felt like it, but now I do it just to keep moving.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnivera View Post
    The job search sucks (I'm going through the same thing right now, so I hear ya). The best thing to do is get yourself into a semblance of your former routine. Get up early, take care of yourself properly (eat and sleep), and do the activities that you enjoy.

    Definitely give yourself time to have fun! Watch a movie, go out with friends, whatever. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
    All right. I want to leave somebody mentally broken and bleeding in my wake. I have argued with people, and never found a, well, metaphorical forum, to find a decisive closure in the exchange, and it sapped my energy. All my life, I have drawn energy from the mental violence of argument, but I was never able to do it constructively, or find resolution like in a physical fight, as I'd like.

    INTJs are mental warriors, so I figured you folks might have some suggestions. As is, I feel like I've had to mutilate the aggressive arguing side of side of me to keep from going mad. Now, I feel positively docile.

    I don't want to hurt anyone, but I just want to be some place where I feel my arguments are appreciated, and I can enjoy myself being myself.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    You should check out INTJforum.

    I can relate to going P and not finishing stuff, but not so much the rest.

  8. #8
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    Sounds like your just depressed. It happens to everyone, now and then.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnivera View Post
    The job search sucks (I'm going through the same thing right now, so I hear ya). The best thing to do is get yourself into a semblance of your former routine. Get up early, take care of yourself properly (eat and sleep), and do the activities that you enjoy.
    At least you want a job. I'm reminded of the time (I used to own a small graphics business) when I offered a friend of mine (who was almost desperate for one) a job and you know what he said to me? He said "Not from you."

    Well that caused something of a rift in our relationship. I gave the job to somebody else and my friend disappeared from my life. Never to be seen again. From time to time I think of him and wonder how he is doing. Too bad he didn't want the job. He would have been good at it. I still miss him. He was a real gem.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    How old are you? My mid-twenties have made me feel a little out of character. I think there are just some points on the timeline where you have to kind of... recalibrate.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

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