Hi, I'm dating an INTP. I'm an I/ENFP in grad school for art therapy, he's an engineer. Unfortunately, because of school, I live about 600 miles from him. I know some good things are my perceptiveness about his feelings and responses and motivations and my acceptance of him and his quirks and his need for time. That he doesn't have to "state" everything, and that I'm not offset or hurt when he does. I acknowledge and appreciate motivation, not just presentation.
That said, I'm a feeler and so I do find myself hesitant to "flood" around him, which is a fairly normal and common thing that happens in my life, when the emotions spike. I'll not talk to him on the phone or I'll go to someone else when I'm "intense." I've mentioned that I cried to someone else and then felt I shouldn't have mentioned it at all because his response implied he felt kind of helpless and confused, and (perhaps) hurt that I'd gone to someone else(???). Should I have just gone to him and trusted he could handle it?
He is responsible and practical (compared to me) and thoughtful, though a lot of understanding him requires experimentation on my part (I worry sometimes that he thinks he's my psychological guinea pig, but really the whole world is, and it's not because I want to manipulate, I just want to respond the best to meet people's needs so...yeah).
Long short of it; it's a relationship, I'm doing some stuff right, and assume I must be giving him something he wants or he wouldn't be dating him, and probably doing some stuff wrong.
I want to know how can I best serve my INTP. What are some things that INTPs are looking for in relationships, particularly ones with feelers, that I can provide (if I'm not already)? Also, is there any way I can ease the pain/difficulty of the distance?
p.s. If all NTs apply the scientific method to the bedroom the same as my INTP does I have no idea why you guys aren't way more popular than you are! Actually, I don't know why everyone doesn't love you; I'm still baffled that no one had snatched up my awesome INTP...