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  1. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by Redkix View Post
    How do you do it? I feel like I'm trying to communicate with aliens sometimes, though I've largely given up communicating at all about anything substantial. The worst problem for me seems to be that people assume something's wrong if I don't display enthusiasm. And they expect a certain level of it almost constantly. That's impossible for me. For the most part, I just *do not* express emotion easily (unless the stimuli is extreme), and plus, I don't get excited about the same things that most people do. The difference in my emotional reactions themselves is sometimes even more alienating to them (and vice versa) than my lack of "sufficient" reaction in general.

    I don't think I really care, on the whole, but it does seem to put me at a disadvantage, and it's something I'd like to learn to work around, if possible.

    Of course, there are many other obstacles to living in an F-dom culture. The hysterical sanctimoniousness of other conservatives generally makes me give them a wide berth, and I'm currently considering leaving the Republican party for the Libertarians. I'm fiscally conservative, but socially and morally moderate-liberal. But I tend to think a vote for the Libertarians is a vote wasted, or effectively, applied to the Democrats. This is just one more example.

    What other obstacles have you experienced? And most importantly, have you found ways to deal with them?
    Fake it until you make it. My mother indoctrinated me with some useful tools that help me get along, to an extent, with a majority of people. I always smile at people and I can laugh, etc. and I try to stay away from certain conversations because most people are irrational and unwilling to hear my points. I think some of the issues that I have had while communicating with others have led me to be a bit more skeptical when deciding whether to start serious conversations with people. Stick to small talk and you'll be just fine.

  2. #52
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rogue350 View Post
    Fake it until you make it. My mother indoctrinated me with some useful tools that help me get along, to an extent, with a majority of people. I always smile at people and I can laugh, etc. and I try to stay away from certain conversations because most people are irrational and unwilling to hear my points. I think some of the issues that I have had while communicating with others have led me to be a bit more skeptical when deciding whether to start serious conversations with people. Stick to small talk and you'll be just fine.
    INTJ's small talk is their down fall

  3. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    INTJ's small talk is their down fall
    I think I am relatively good at it. Just pretend to care and like the person and seem interested in what they are talking about. Sometimes I go off on tangents and talk about things that other people find "random".
    I have noticed that it is very difficult to find other people my age who I can talk to and enjoy our conversation so I really cherish those people in my life because they are few and far between.

  4. #54
    Senior Member PimpinMcBoltage's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say that mainstream culture is very feeling orientated at all, not exactly deprived of it but most people would rather think about the price of something than of the value of the same thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    I've always wondered why INT go on about hating other people, meanwhile wanting to be accepted by said disgusting people.
    I think most people want to be around people on their own terms, and that Introverts with a preference for thinking would generally express their usually over/under desire for human contact in particularly poor ways. That sentiment probably isn't even just applicable with just INTs. It's likely that such a thing is confused for that, when in reality it's just people with misanthropic tendencies, or if you want to be functional about it. Thinking dominants and Fi doms.
    Phelgmatic-Jewish-Communist-Islamic-Transethnic-Asexual-National Socialist

  5. #55

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    Quote Originally Posted by PimpinMcBoltage View Post
    I wouldn't say that mainstream culture is very feeling orientated at all, not exactly deprived of it but most people would rather think about the price of something than of the value of the same thing.

    I guess I'm not sure what most people are. I suppose a majority of people don't think about how their actions affect other people but I'm not sure that the majority of people are thinking either. It does seem that more people utilize emotion while decision-making rather than objectivity, which would hint towards feeling rather than thinking.

  6. #56
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rogue350 View Post
    Fake it until you make it. My mother indoctrinated me with some useful tools that help me get along, to an extent, with a majority of people. I always smile at people and I can laugh, etc. and I try to stay away from certain conversations because most people are irrational and unwilling to hear my points. I think some of the issues that I have had while communicating with others have led me to be a bit more skeptical when deciding whether to start serious conversations with people. Stick to small talk and you'll be just fine.
    I see this with some other ENTP's as well. I wish that I knew some ENTP's irl.

    (I like your avatar)


    Quote Originally Posted by rogue350 View Post
    I think I am relatively good at it. Just pretend to care and like the person and seem interested in what they are talking about. Sometimes I go off on tangents and talk about things that other people find "random".
    I have noticed that it is very difficult to find other people my age who I can talk to and enjoy our conversation so I really cherish those people in my life because they are few and far between.
    I am sooooo bad at small talk after a certain point. Where do you get the energy? Must be from keeping it random with Ne maybe?

    Also it's hard to keep my mouth shut with a dominant extraverted function.

    I try to follow the rule "Don't speak unless spoken to" or the rule "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all," but those rules seem like the opposite of what my Te wants to do

    Te wants to cut to the chase with everything....so small talk is something that I actually have to consciously think about

    So I would like to take make the best of your advice. What would be an example of a conversation irl that you would stay away from? Like controversial stuffs? ie abortion, politics, sex, fracking, Miley Cyrus, religion, etc...? I guess my feeling is what's there left to talk about? ha ha weather, food, and exercise lol?

  7. #57
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    I've never understood why people get so concerned with this crap. How do you survive? Mainly, you stop whining about it...
    You lose.

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  8. #58
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    So I would like to take make the best of your advice. What would be an example of a conversation irl that you would stay away from? Like controversial stuffs? ie abortion, politics, sex, fracking, Miley Cyrus, religion, etc...? I guess my feeling is what's there left to talk about? ha ha weather, food, and exercise lol?
    I dislike small talk as well, and can't resist turning small talk into "big talk" whenever possible. It usually works to go historical about even the most controversial of topics. Politics? Discuss the constitution, or the early days of the US. Abortion? Discuss what women did centuries ago to try to end unwanted pregnancy, or adoption/fostering or even infanticide practices in classical Greece/Rome or elsewhere. Religion? Talk about Joseph Campbell, or the Venus figurines unearthed in Europe. Great fun, as long as you know something about it. And it that doesn't work, I'm done.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #59
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    I've never understood why people get so concerned with this crap. How do you survive? Mainly, you stop whining about it...
    I find that ironic cause your talking to a buncha people that probably don't introvert their feelings well

    I think that the OP should read - how to "thrive" in a feeling dominant world...at least that's how I took it.

    I mean...come on...we are all surviving by definition just fine. yes.

    But I think thriving is a totally different story...

    Another thing that I find ironic is that when ppl are extraverting their thinking, others take that as complaining/whining. Not that I'm assuming that's what you're doing here or anything...just find it ironic. I think when people are extraverting their thinking they're trying to define the problem so they can quickly resolve it.

    I don't think the problems of trying to thrive in a feeling dominant culture are going to be solved by not talking about them. Step one is always admitting there's a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I dislike small talk as well, and can't resist turning small talk into "big talk" whenever possible. It usually works to go historical about even the most controversial of topics. Politics? Discuss the constitution, or the early days of the US. Abortion? Discuss what women did centuries ago to try to end unwanted pregnancy, or adoption/fostering or even infanticide practices in classical Greece/Rome or elsewhere. Religion? Talk about Joseph Campbell, or the Venus figurines unearthed in Europe. Great fun, as long as you know something about it. And it that doesn't work, I'm done.


    Ah yes, I very much try to do this too. I can only get so far with some people though, unfortunately. I actually don't know that many people that are even interested in discussing such things as the constitution or even know who Joseph Campbell was.

    I know what you mean though. That is a good point. I can at least talk to some guys about history. The girls I know, want nothing to do with history though. I have even tried talking about the history of cosmetics with some of them Their eyes usually glaze over after about 2 sentences ha ha.

    Sometimes I wish that I was more of an introvert because of this. It's like on one hand I want interaction to energize me, but on the other hand I don't want to waste my energy on unfruitful convo's. I give in sometimes if I find that I'm needing interaction more than the substance of the convo though.

  10. #60
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I dislike small talk as well, and can't resist turning small talk into "big talk" whenever possible. It usually works to go historical about even the most controversial of topics. Politics? Discuss the constitution, or the early days of the US. Abortion? Discuss what women did centuries ago to try to end unwanted pregnancy, or adoption/fostering or even infanticide practices in classical Greece/Rome or elsewhere. Religion? Talk about Joseph Campbell, or the Venus figurines unearthed in Europe. Great fun, as long as you know something about it. And it that doesn't work, I'm done.
    A simple question?

    Yeah, I go back way to try and cover all sides of the story before giving a final answer, which is really difficult, because it is so dynamic for me most of the time. By the time I got a few sentences in, their eyes already rolled or *oh look squirrel*

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