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  1. #31
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I also think the world would be a better place if it was F-Dom properly understood, I agree with Erich Fromm that the world is pretty repressed when it comes to feelings and feeling per se. So you get a lot of sentimentality, phony feelings, feelings on que and its like everyone is a performance artist or actor. That's when its not all spilling out in outbursts, emoting and in a disordered or disorderly fashion.
    In your eyes, what would that better place look like? What do you see as balanced treatment of feeling? This is interesting.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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  2. #32
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Anything specific you want to hear about? If you do get stuck as the subject of a strong Fi judgment like this, the one recommendation I can give is to ask the person to explain what bothers them about the matter at hand. If they use Fi, they also use Te, and should be able to enlist it to help with an explanation. This should at least get you both on the same page so you can start addressing the matter constructively.
    Buuuuh...

    Yea, I can do that with my boss. If I present it in a fashion where she wont take offense to it, she'll give me a Te answer. I have to see the problem, reflect on it, then come back to it at a later time and I begin all my sentences by saying "What can I do to...blah blah blah...it gets repetative...but at least she's not mad at the end of the convo.

    The ex tho, (still friends with him) not the same story.

    It's ironic cause I literally just got off the phone with him via him hanging up on me.

    He was asking me for help with figuring out his work history for a new job....and he kept saying I was wrong about the years and cutting me off. So I finally responded with "I got nothin, I ..c..a..n.. o..n...l....y........

    Him: "fine then forget it" (in an angry voice, which cut me off) and then he hung up on me.

    10 mins later...he calls me back..

    He just went right into it again asking me what month did he do such and such job...

    I'm over this type of behavior. I just kind of find it sad now...

    I get cut off before I'm ever able to explain myself. And then I ask for explaination from him and I get a wall or anger...there's no progress.

    Something I do must make Fi feel attacked....and I don't know why sometimes....

    I just try to converse with him as little as possible now.

    I think it mostly is because of in the moment compared to having a robotic reflective response.

    I don't like doing either, but at least the latter makes progress.

    So got any insights on "in the moment" interaction with Fi?

    Maybe I'm not asking for their explanation with the proper words?

    I think I just get side swiped by their strong emotional reactions to things that I didn't even think were emotional....almost like I encounter Fi doms with quick tempers or something...does this sound like anything you've experienced?

  3. #33
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    It's ironic cause I literally just got off the phone with him via him hanging up on me.

    He was asking me for help with figuring out his work history for a new job....and he kept saying I was wrong about the years and cutting me off. So I finally responded with "I got nothin, I ..c..a..n.. o..n...l....y........

    Him: "fine then forget it" (in an angry voice, which cut me off) and then he hung up on me.

    10 mins later...he calls me back..

    He just went right into it again asking me what month did he do such and such job...

    I'm over this type of behavior. I just kind of find it sad now...
    Why do you attribute this behavior to Fi? It sounds more like Ti or even Si - nitpicking over details.

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    So got any insights on "in the moment" interaction with Fi?

    Maybe I'm not asking for their explanation with the proper words?
    My previous suggestion was meant to be "in the moment". As soon as you sense the negative Fi reaction, identify it and ask for an explanation. You can say something like: "there's something about this you seem not to like; can you tell me what it is?", or "I sense you don't agree about this; how would you do it differently?" Note that you aren't agreeing with them at this point either, but you are recognizing their dissatisfaction and asking for their own preferred solution. Once that is on the table, the conversation should improve unless they are being a total jerk about it.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #34
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I understand what you are describing. I can often feel what is probably the Fi judgment when I hear certain things. The difference is that I know better than to say anything about it - yet. I try to figure out why I have that feeling, and also examine the other person's statements as objectively as possible. It is the upshot of all this analysis that I will eventually share, if it seems some good might come of it.
    This is familiar as per how I treat Fi. I don't know about others, but I myself cannot separate the feeling from the compulsion to examine and question it alongside contradicting statements. Imagine the maintenance alert lights on a car dashboard, but instead of oil, the light in question represents a particular inner value. When it is triggered, a red light comes on that means "check this" to me. I've been known to, after feeling a strong Fi reaction to something I read or hear, go plumb the internet for the best arguments against my reaction. I want not just to check out the other side's rationale but to test the integrity of my own, see how well it holds up.
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  5. #35
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Yeah- that's about the size of it. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
    NFs are stuck with people that think that rationality is the end all be all (and we don't) and NTs are stuck with us feelers who put weight to the feelings and values of other human beings. So that's the world we live in. We're all different colors, religions, political affiliations and prefer different cognitive functions too. Such is life.

    and NFs are never judgmental? haha!

    I'm an NT and I don't generally give a crap about rationality.

  6. #36
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    What seems to happen is that the Fe, mimics me as to what they perceive I am giving off... ice cold feelings. Which isn't the case, really. When this happens, it is usually to late and they cut me off before I even get a chance to understand as to what just happened.

  7. #37

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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    In your eyes, what would that better place look like? What do you see as balanced treatment of feeling? This is interesting.

  8. #38
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    and NFs are never judgmental? haha!

    I'm an NT and I don't generally give a crap about rationality.
    See- when I try to defend myself (or "my type") labels are thrown my way by NTs. Not just here- in multiple places online where I interact with MBTI enthusiasts. I'm used to it.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  9. #39
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I think being a perceiver surviving in a judging dominant culture would be way harder.

    As well as a feeler surviving in a thinking dominant culture.

    But I don't have many issues with being a thinker surviving in dominant feeler cultures. But that may also be do to my perceiver nature as well as enneagram 9 I guess.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #40
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Why do you attribute this behavior to Fi? It sounds more like Ti or even Si - nitpicking over details.
    I thought the same thing...I am, and 4 other people, are 100% positive that he is an ISFP, E9.

    *shrugs* I don't get why he shuts down and blows up at the same time...but I'm pretty sure he's not healthy...I mean..his mom still does his laundry...

    I think he is nitpicky about emotions and sensations...I'm not allowed to talk to him about death, the excretion system, people that he doesn't like, I was never allowed to interrupt "the moment" in bed, etc...or he gets pissy or shuts down....or even both...shit like that seems more emotional than Ti I think.



    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    What seems to happen is that the Fe, mimics me as to what they perceive I am giving off... ice cold feelings. Which isn't the case, really. When this happens, it is usually to late and they cut me off before I even get a chance to understand as to what just happened.
    Yea, my friend said that Fe works like a mirror.

    Which I still find useful

    If Fe works like a mirror then I can talk about the type of atomosphere I'd like to have with the Fe user.

    But with Fi... they feel the way they feel, because it's the way they feel...it's just fog to me.

    I think what @skylights had to say about the expectations of certian cues and rules was right.

    If you just abide by the "rules" you're good to go.

    The real problem comes in when you don't want to abide by the "rules".

    If that's the case...I would get a job where I didn't have to say "Hi" to anyone. But I have grown accustomed to the "rules." *shrugs*

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I think being a perceiver surviving in a judging dominant culture would be way harder.

    As well as a feeler surviving in a thinking dominant culture.

    But I don't have many issues with being a thinker surviving in dominant feeler cultures. But that may also be do to my perceiver nature as well as enneagram 9 I guess.
    I think it would be way harder for me as a judger to survive in a perciever world. I'm grateful it's not a perciever world everywhere I go.

    I don't know about feelers...i think they could get accustomed...i think that my Te values effiiciency...but I have incorporated the thought that "If you aren't happy at the end of the day...then it's not worth it, it's also lonely" I think Te can compromise.

    I think it would be hard for me as an extravert if it were an introverted world.

    This stuffs fun

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