User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 23

  1. #11
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    The problem is such:

    1.) I hate networking. On principle and because for whatever reason I am socially ill equipped. Talking to people new people is intimidating to the point of making me physically ill. "Selling myself" always feels smarmy and as an artist I dream of a world where my skills and products speak for themselves. As a result in networking situations I feel like a nauseous prostitute.

    2.) I have no farming or hunting skills. So for now I must remain on the grid. Meaning I have to find a way to get work which means....networking.

    How do you networking without wanting to kill yourself or other wise crawl beneath a rock and die. (As a side note is this another case of a world designed for extroverts?)
    Just go around the room and see who you vibe with. Then try to start up a conversation with them. Let one thing lead to another and then exchange contact info.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 so/sx
    Posts
    2,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Just go around the room and see who you vibe with. Then try to start up a conversation with them. Let one thing lead to another and then exchange contact info.

    I just don't get how the vibe works I guess. It just doesn't ever seems appropriate to talk to strangers and I don't generally have anything to say to them. I guess how do you make up stuff to talk about with people?

  3. #13
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    I just don't get how the vibe works I guess. It just doesn't ever seems appropriate to talk to strangers and I don't generally have anything to say to them. I guess how do you make up stuff to talk about with people?
    Just come up to them and ask them a conversational opener question. Let me give you an example. I am a college student and meet new people at my University all the time. I just ask them standard questions that I know that they can relate to like...

    1. What's your major?
    2. What do you hope to do with that major?
    3. Are you gonna get a masters? If so, what in?

    So just find a common social nitch to talk about then just start asking questions.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    I hate networking, too. When I did freelancing, I would try to post up my artwork in lots of public spaces with contact info and let it speak for itself. But I wasn't relying on it to pay me living wages, so it wasn't very pressing.

    My favorite method is finding someone who naturally networks - in my case an ENFJ friend - and letting them do it for you. She had 3 jobs lined up for me recently and I barely have any time to freelance at all anymore (actually, I turned 2 of them down).

    Bribe your husband maybe?

  5. #15
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    The problem is such:

    1.) I hate networking. On principle and because for whatever reason I am socially ill equipped. Talking to people new people is intimidating to the point of making me physically ill. "Selling myself" always feels smarmy and as an artist I dream of a world where my skills and products speak for themselves. As a result in networking situations I feel like a nauseous prostitute.

    2.) I have no farming or hunting skills. So for now I must remain on the grid. Meaning I have to find a way to get work which means....networking.

    How do you networking without wanting to kill yourself or other wise crawl beneath a rock and die. (As a side note is this another case of a world designed for extroverts?)
    Find your extroverted opposite and give them a cut of your profits for helping you network as a result.

    The only reason my business stands a chance of success is because I know 3 enfj's, who know everyone.

  6. #16
    Member Valis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Posts
    98

    Default

    I will try to answer the original question.

    Social skills can be developed. If you are not comfortable speaking, concentrate on your listening skills and ask questions when appropriate to clarify points. This demonstrates that you are actually listening. Have plenty of business cards ready so that you can exchange details. Try to quickly appraise whether someone is a time waster and move on to the next person. Make the effort to go up to people and introduce yourself. However, you can always let the extroverts come to you. Dress appropriately for the situation and try to smile

    Building relationships with people takes time so don't worry if you don't get anything out of it immediately. Follow up the initial contact with one to one discussions where you should feel more confident.

    Believe in yourself.

  7. #17
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    First of all, you shouldn't network with people you don't like. Don't be closed off to new people, but if you feel like you don't have anything in common with someone, you don't have to keep on talking with them even if they may be useful for your purposes.

    Secondly, you should go with a friend or colleague who is a bit more extraverted than you, so he/she can introduce both of you either to new people, or to people he/she knows, and the conversation can then start flowing more naturally.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #18
    WhoCares
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    The problem is such:

    How do you networking without wanting to kill yourself or other wise crawl beneath a rock and die. (As a side note is this another case of a world designed for extroverts?)
    You sound like me pre-2008. There is a simple fix and one I've personally tested. Find a job working with the most sickening sycophants in a 'look at me' industry. Stay there for more than 5yrs until you develop a new personality out of insanity. You will find the 'new you' loves to draw attention to itself, be the biggest personality and gossip in the room and is a fantastic networker. The simple act of networking is a minor act of prostitution (akin to a quick blow job) compared to the live porn show which is working in PR, Marketing, Fashion or Publishing.

    Artists love to believe their work stands on their own, but even the masters knew they were nothing without patronage. Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Mozart etc all prostituted themselves for the cash and 'big gigs'. They were only able to become grumpy hermits once they had secured the richest and biggest patrons and were hot right now, because of their celebrity patronage. Think about it. Artists with morals too high become monks who's genius is discovered long after they starved to death.

  9. #19
    WhoCares
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    I just don't get how the vibe works I guess. It just doesn't ever seems appropriate to talk to strangers and I don't generally have anything to say to them. I guess how do you make up stuff to talk about with people?
    Some no-fail openers

    I like your ----, Appeal - vanity. Expect subject to now crap endlessly on about themselves giving you lots of material for further conversation.

    Walk about a room and wait for someone who's crapping on about themselves at volume then interject....
    Sorry, didnt mean to overhear but did you say?....OMG me too! Appeal - conformity. People like it when the world is full of other people just like them. They feel safe.

    Save the awkward one. In every group setting there is always one person who drops a bone while trying to fit in. Be generous, smile and pick up what they really meant and provide an easy lead-in for them to enter the group. Appeal - hero worship. That person will be forever grateful and you'll look schmick in front of F types who's usual modus operandi is to make some catty remark before moving away as if someone farted.


  10. #20
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 so/sx
    Posts
    2,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I would not say so, that is I would not say that it is an example of a world designed for extroverts, I like networking and thrive upon it but I find that there are embittered people in any network who will take a dislike to anyone networking without difficulty.

    Or maybe its not even as complex as that, some people do not like the fact that others do not experience the same troubles or private misery are they do and it may not be about the networking but the minute you register on their radar they will make you regret it.

    So being extroverted or enjoying networking does not translate into it being free of difficulties. Not at all.

    Maybe its less difficult, because the prospect of the tasks involved dont automatically deter or tire you out, and the threat of obstructiveness is somewhere down the line for both extroverts and introverts but that's my view. Do you think its easier to hate on extroverts and pity introverts? This is something I dont like very much, everyone, despite their own attributes, are fighting a hard struggle and its a better idea to just be kind when its an option. One life you know. Make a difference for the better.
    No hit everyone has their own struggles. My struggle is interacting with people. You as an extroverted person probably don't struggle as much with networking. Why does recognizing the differing strengths of different types have to start some kind of I/E battle. And it's not about pity but you can recognize how a system might benefit a certain type more than others. People who are personable and comfortable with interaction, who thrive off it rather than be exhausted by it, will thrive in a system that values those qualities.

    Whatever sent you on this holier than thou, be the change you want see lecture, it's misguided

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 23
    Last Post: 04-28-2016, 12:59 PM
  2. On art appreciation: How different personality types behave and interact with art?
    By curiousel in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 11-09-2011, 05:30 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO