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  1. #1
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Default Building ENTP/ENTJ long turn relationship:how do I interpret my partners choice?

    I have been in the ENTP/ENTJ relationship for about a year. We have had a crisis app. half the way, but have survived it, more or less resolved the issues and for now it keeps growing and blooming. We are happy together and enjoying each others company, while spending almost all free time together, more or less living together both at my and his place in turns. I'm not in a rush to move together right now but I'm considering it as an opportunity during the next year or so, maybe even sooner.

    My partner has in the meanwhile began looking for a new apartment, as he is very tired of his rental place in the suburb and he wants to move downtown. He is looking for an apartment for himself and his two kids and he is not really involving me in the process. I don't really know how to interpret this situation. In my opinion it would be wise to wait a bit. When we both feel ready we could make a decision as to whether or not we would like to move together. And first thereafter find something together. If he buys an apartment now and invests serious money in it, I hardly believe he is going to sell it in a year or so in order to move together with me. So I would probably end up accepting his choice of the apartment, and accepting things without having influence is just NOT my strong side. He says that I make a problem out of something which is not and we'll deal with issues when they will appear.

    Doe's his behaviour indicate that he is not really taking me seriously as a long turn partner with whom he is going to build a life together or should I relax and trust that he says that we will figure out what to do when time comes? It's very difficult for me to understand why he can't just wait. And If he is not really taking me seriously maybe its the best place and time to leave, as I'm interested in a partner not just to play with but to share my life with...

    ENTJ's or others with the insight of ENTJ's mentality, can you please help me out with interpreting this situation? I'm worried that I may misjudge things and make some fuck up's.

  2. #2
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Sorry for the lack of responses, it's hard for ENTJs to post online much while they're in the middle of corporate takeovers or whatever they do for fun. I would be having the same feelings and issues, those are super valid questions and ones you need to ask him. ENTJs aren't always good at involving others in things, they seem more like the type that needs a passenger rather than a partner.

  3. #3
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    I'm more concerned why he'd be willing to tear his two children out of the burbs, to live downtown. He sounds pretty selfish.

    As for whether or not you have any input into this, since you've only been dating a year, it's a bit much to expect him to factor you into any apartment choice.

  4. #4
    Member ameeker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    I'm more concerned why he'd be willing to tear his two children out of the burbs, to live downtown. He sounds pretty selfish.

    As for whether or not you have any input into this, since you've only been dating a year, it's a bit much to expect him to factor you into any apartment choice.
    I agree. Only a year? That's a lil' presumptuous.

  5. #5
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Sorry for the lack of responses, it's hard for ENTJs to post online much while they're in the middle of corporate takeovers or whatever they do for fun. I would be having the same feelings and issues, those are super valid questions and ones you need to ask him. ENTJs aren't always good at involving others in things, they seem more like the type that needs a passenger rather than a partner.
    She's posted here before about her shitty relationship with this guy. Got a fair number of responses. Most of whom she either ignored, rationalized or debated. And, lo and behold, her relationship with this ENTJ is still convoluted and shitty. We're perfectly willing to give help where it's needed but don't waste our time.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

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