Well all, I guess I'll start out by telling a little about my story. Recently I realized that I was unsatisfied in life, and I gradually let people and things go as I lost interest in them. I wound up quitting my career job, and I stopped talking to every single friend and family member I had. I was left with utterly nothing. I had imagined that new things would pop up in the old ones' places, but they didn't. Ultimately, I tried to reconnect with this girl I love, but that apparently turned out horribly... this was only a few hours ago, it is possible that she will change her mind, but I've learned that it is a bad idea to sit and hope for someone to do something you want them to do. So who knows.
As far as I see it, my life as I know it is over, and I mean that in the most profound way. I have given serious consideration to going to an insane asylum, because I just don't know what to do anymore and I literally can't bring myself to try to get a job, or stick around this rotten place anymore. So, my last stand is to just go apeshit and run off somewhere and pray to god that I find something somewhere that can make me happy. I live in such pain right now I can barely stand anything except RUNNING from the awful boredom and loneliness that haunts me every moment of the day. I wake up even from a bad dream and I become so disappointed that it wasn't real. I mean it is worse than I ever could have imagined. I've tried everything I could think of and everything blew up in my face, pointed me back at this terrifying void I cannot look at anymore.
So here's where I stand. I have about 40,000 dollars and a few ideas. I guess I will have to sell almost all of my things, first of all. Whatever is left over, maybe my parents will help me keep in storage. I also think they might adopt my pet rabbit for me, or at least take care of it for a while as I try to find something stable. As for my apartment, I believe the lease is up in August, so I can let that run out, or I can perhaps choose to sublet it.
The first thing that jumped into my mind was to get on a plane and head for Hawaii, the Bahamas, or the Virgin Islands (or something similar). I love exotic places and the ocean. I just don't know what I would do there, and if I could live there. Would I be able to find a job? Would I even be happy there? Would I be able to meet people?
The second idea, and perhaps the better one, is to make a list of cities in America to visit, create a budget, and spend some time touring each one and trying to get a feel for which one might be right for me and seeing if I can make any connections or anything. I could couch surf, stay in motels, use craigslist, or even sleep in my car if need be. If I used craigslist, maybe I could find oddjobs to do for people to make a little money or get a free place to sleep. If that doesn't work, maybe then I could use my last couple thousand for the plane ticket to paradise.
I will probably continue to post in this thread as my thoughts develop and I come up with ideas. I would love to hear any serious or helpful advice or ideas.