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  1. #1
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    Default INTPs and childlike emotions

    Any INTPs out there who feel like their feelings have a very childish emotional range? If I were to guess I'd put it down to inferior Fe bubbling to the surface at inopportune moments.

    Do you remember when you were kids, and you would feel rather grieved after coming back from holidays, or after a sleepover or a party or something like that? Well lately I've been feeling that puerile sadness because a very very small part of my life is drawing to a close. It's really weird, and I would quite like it to stop

    I find it to be much the same with love. Whenever I am in a relationship I seem to revert to childish playfulness (I would say romping if it didn't sound so dirty ). For the first few months of a relationship I am incredibly immature. So much so that when I calm down after a few months, it's usually mistaken for waning interest

    So any other INTPs out there who've noticed similar ridiculousness? How do you cope/curb your inner child and pretend to be an adult?
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  2. #2
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    It's more of an inability to express emotions. Many times in my life people have said that I never express emotion. Only recently has that changed, but I can say, I had always been an angry person even though I acted calm. And a lot of other emotions too, really, but I would always just hide them because I didn't want to be out of control.

    In short, the INTP's inferior Fe (and the ISTP's too) manifests 99 percent of the time as a hiding of emotion, which is too bad because you need it to truly bond with people. The INTP, though, does have a tendency to be acerbic and sarcastic with people he clashes with, and on rare occasion, have a meltdown. Then again, I don't know many people who haven't had their meltdowns. Again, this is about outer suppression of emotion and inner inability to identify them precisely.

    Recently I've made the change required to express emotions and it doesn't look like one might expect. The INTP is a real character, that's for sure. Like I said above, I always did have this inner anger, although I hid it. Now I don't really hide it as much anymore, and that's ok with me. Yesterday I was at the pool and some stranger trying to be friendly said something to me and I basically made him feel like an idiot (just looked at him like WTF did you just say to me) for saying it 'cause I found it lame. You may say, "this doesn't sound like improvement" but it is. I could have played along with his harmless friendly act, but truth be told, I hate that superficial goofy bullshit and the sooner people know that about me, the better.

    Before, I had basically made "playing along" a constant, effectively making it so no one ever really knew me. INTPs have this "chameleon" syndrome, and they do it because they know that they would be getting a lot of attention (as odd) if they didn't. But like I said above, to bond with people you have to share emotions, and that can mean being displeased. Since I've changed, I have had some of the best conversations in my life and have gotten close to people who are incredibly different from me. That never happened before.

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    This is a good thing, IMO, not a bad thing.

  4. #4
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    It's endearing but sometimes I just want to kick some sense into 'em.

    One of my closest friends is INTP- if she's having a particularly rough time [combine this with hormone fluctuations, sleep loss, the works] - her existential crises tend to be exacerbated- she'll end up calling, eventually, in tears, talking through them the whole time, snot flowing all over between hiccupping out words/thoughts, to where I can hardly understand her. It reminds me a lot of a small child. Not in a contemptuous way. I just slow it all down and backwards-Ti her out of it. Which, I don't mind doing at all. We all have our mental garbage sometimes. I try to keep myself from falling apart at all costs, so, helping her makes me feel a bit more human, at least. Though being unable to decipher the sobspeak in the moment can be taxing at times. Still endearing, in its own way.

    She, and a few other INTP friends I have, also tend to, on some default level, imagine/assume the best (or at the very least neutral) of people's intentions, or not consider the worst case scenarios. How toxic another person might be for them to invest in initially, or say, fail to recognize areas in less savory locations one shouldn't park their car at night/go to alone since it's a notorious rape/mugging area (not suggesting people need to live in fear, just plz have some semblance of alertness about these potential things). But no. Just, whoosh. Right over their heads. I want to shake them, & be like, LOOK. PEOPLE CAN DO BAAAAAD THINGS SOMETIMES. BE MORE FUCKING AWARE. YES THE UNKNOWN IS A WONDEROUS THING. STRANGERS CAN BE INTERESTING. BUT THERE'S NO FREE CANDY. EVER. NO, NOT EVER. FFS.

    In short, adorable but simultaneously very .
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  5. #5
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I feel that I'm thoroughly mature myself.

    Yes, I experience this to some extent, particularly with falling in love. I have no idea what to do about it, but I've never tried to "do something about it".
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  6. #6
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oeufa View Post
    Any INTPs out there who feel like their feelings have a very childish emotional range? If I were to guess I'd put it down to inferior Fe bubbling to the surface at inopportune moments.
    Yes, I've noticed this about myself and identified with it when I read it in other places. I consider Fi to be my "inner child," because it's the 8th. and most unconscious function, so it I think has the most childlike qualities- I think my emotions come more from Fi and are simply expressed through Fe (in an inferior sort of way). So Fe being the inner child works because it expresses both itself and Fi.

    Quote Originally Posted by Oeufa View Post
    I find it to be much the same with love. Whenever I am in a relationship I seem to revert to childish playfulness (I would say romping if it didn't sound so dirty ). For the first few months of a relationship I am incredibly immature. So much so that when I calm down after a few months, it's usually mistaken for waning interest
    This is really true for me. I notice it and hope the other person isn't thinking anything bad about me, and it makes me self conscious. But I just get so excited and enthusiastic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oeufa View Post
    So any other INTPs out there who've noticed similar ridiculousness? How do you cope/curb your inner child and pretend to be an adult?
    Not very well, haha.


    @zago, I'm glad you are able to do that. I've been in the process of being accepting of emotions and letting them flow over the past few years, and it's hard. Lately I've been wondering how you tell someone you think they're annoying without actually telling them you think they're annoying. Proper social expression of emotion is a whole new dimension to the thing...

    Edit: I kept adding more to this, but I moved it to my blog because it's off topic.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    Bro fist bump to anyone who replied so far - some great answers in here! I'm on my phone so my reply will be brief.






    Zago I think it's pretty cool that you can be more honest about your emotions these days. With strangers I'm uber polite. With friends and family my exterior emotion rarely match up with the tempestuous inner ones (which rarely make sense anyway). I'm struggling to think of an adequate way to describe this. It's like most of my mannerisms are consciously adopted - I'll see someone who says/does something in a way I like so I'll decide to do it myself and see how people respond. Most of my behavior is for show, which is why it doesn't really correlate in any real way to whatever the feeling du jour is.

    As for what I feel, it's either a very very intense emotion that I don't display, or complete calm/non-feeling (which is rare but nice). I just wish I could find some way to rein myself in. I feel like such a child with my dramatic, nonsensical mood swings.
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  8. #8
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    @zago, I'm glad you are able to do that. I've been in the process of being accepting of emotions and letting them flow over the past few years, and it's hard. Lately I've been wondering how you tell someone you think they're annoying without actually telling them you think they're annoying. Proper social expression of emotion is a whole new dimension to the thing...
    I use facial expressions and silence to convey that message. I don't think there is often a polite way to say it. I was always really afraid of being "the quiet guy" though so I basically just tried to pretend I was never angry or annoyed with anyone and made glossy conversation. Recently I have been more quiet around people, to no ill effect thankfully. It's still tough though.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I use facial expressions and silence to convey that message.
    I do this with rude customers at work. If they just walk up to me and state their order without so much as a "Hi" or "Can I have..." I'll be silent for 2 seconds before responding. It really throws them off, but I'm still super polite and friendly so they can't claim bad customer service. It's the little victories that make life worth living
    Last edited by Oeufa; 06-30-2013 at 05:13 PM. Reason: spelling derp
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    BUT THERE'S NO FREE CANDY. EVER. NO, NOT EVER. FFS.
    not true:



    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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