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  1. #1
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Default When Enough is Enough? ENTP/ENTJ dynamics

    I have been in ENTP/ENTJ relationship for about 7 months now. It started out as it usually does with ENTP/ENTJ's fantastic, adventures, full of exiting intellectual discussions, amazing chemistry and complete infatuation with each other. But I guess that now we began to run into the typical ENTP/ENTJ problems.

    I was reading a lot of forum threads her and other places, and the future doesn't seem very bright to me... I was trying to prove that we can make our relationship work against the ENTP/ENTJ odds, and I was ready to work for it and go on computerizes.

    However, I got to the point now, when I'm asking myself a question when enough is enough and whether I should keep trying to make it work or just give up.

    We are not arguing a lot (maybe it happens every 2 or 3 week), but it seems to be too much for my ENTJ. He cant really tolerate the imperfectness of the relationship. In his world there is NO place for unwelcome arguments or basically any other imperfections, and I'm afraid that there is even no space to giving it a chance by trying to work things out.

    He now attempted to break up with me 2 times, but shortly after (same or next day) he changed his mind.

    I'm willing to put all the work it needs to make it work, but I can't stand a boyfriend that breaks up with me every now and then.

    We are having a bit of a time out now after 2 break up, and he wants to try it out again, give it another chance. He says that he seriously want's to make it work this time.

    But I'm in doubt. How many times I'm willing to put my heart in a blender? I have very strong feelings for him and get hurt real bad each time. Does it make sense at all trying one more time?

    Does anybody know/have herd of a ENTP/ENTJ relationship that worked out???

    I would really appreciate advice or any comments on this, as I really profoundly care about this guy but I don't want to be self-destructive and keep banging my head in the wall, if that is what I'm doing...

    Is impossible possible???

  2. #2
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millis View Post

    We are not arguing a lot (maybe it happens every 2 or 3 week), but it seems to be too much for my ENTJ. He cant really tolerate the imperfectness of the relationship. In his world there is NO place for unwelcome arguments or basically any other imperfections, and I'm afraid that there is even no space to giving it a chance by trying to work things out.
    Would you really want to be in a long term anything with someone like this?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Would you really want to be in a long term anything with someone like this?
    Hell no...

    The reason why I'm still thinking now is, if ENTJ says that he wants it to 'work out', he means that. And I asume that he is also going to make an effort and change something.. Hmmm, or I'm not really sure what that means. I guess this means there is a chance, but if the probability is 1 to 100 I don't know if I'm going to take it. It is so fucking painful

    ps as an ENTP I'm used to take break ups pretty easily, and usually land on my feet a couple of days after. But this guy got under my skin, and it hurts like hell and he breaks my heart. And if not for THAT, I would defiantly not even consider giving it another go...

  4. #4
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    So:
    1. Guy who breaks up every couple of conflicts
    +
    2. Hurts more then regular breakups
    =
    3. Wanting to go back to him more?

    Lady, I believe you are being negged. Possibly unintentionally, but still the same mechanism at work.

    Thats being said, in your situation I would absolutely not take my advice on the matter...

  5. #5
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millis
    this guy got under my skin, and it hurts like hell and he breaks my heart. And if not for THAT, I would defiantly not even consider giving it another go...
    Because he breaks your heart, it hurts like hell, you want the relationship. Get serious.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    So:
    1. Guy who breaks up every couple of conflicts
    +
    2. Hurts more then regular breakups
    =
    3. Wanting to go back to him more?

    Lady, I believe you are being negged. Possibly unintentionally, but still the same mechanism at work.
    NOPE
    He is not negging me. He gives A LOT, but hell jah, he also demands A LOT.

    I guess some of the problems were coursed by the fact that I was not giving him a positive recognition, which such a GRAND man expects (LOL). Though he IS really cool...but I prefer when people can both be cool and humble, I respect that a lot. So I tend to tease him and provoke him, instead of giving him what he expects from a partner. Usually its in a joke form or in a form of intellectual discussion, and he does except my points once in a while but when it comes to daily life routines he cant take it.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Because he breaks your heart, it hurts like hell, you want the relationship. Get serious.
    Well, that just means that I have real feelings for him and I'm willing to go further than I otherwise normally would go. But I'm not self-destructive and I'm considering it carefully.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millis View Post
    Well, that just means that I have real feelings for him and I'm willing to go further than I otherwise normally would go. But I'm not self-destructive and I'm considering it carefully.
    I think not. But keep telling yourself that.

  9. #9
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    What I meant was the core mechanism: he dumps you, you feel like shit for not meeting his expectations and somewhere in the back,of your Fe question wether you are good enough, he offers to give it (you) another chance, and that part in the back of your head wants to prove that you are good enough.

    Am I picturing if wrong?

  10. #10
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I think not. But keep telling yourself that.
    Well... I guess you have a really grounded reason to come with this comment.

    Maybe you know anything at all about me and my partner? Or you think that knowing that I'm ENTP and he is ENTJ is a profound enough basis to make all the conclusions and make such judgements? So you figured out the whole world with MBTI? Well congrets.

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