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  1. #11
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    What I meant was the core mechanism: he dumps you, you feel like shit for not meeting his expectations and somewhere in the back,of your Fe question wether you are good enough, he offers to give it (you) another chance, and that part in the back of your head wants to prove that you are good enough.

    Am I picturing if wrong?
    Jep, you are picking it wrong.

    I don't really take it personally, in sense of been good enough. I know I'm good enough and I don't need to prove it to anybody. I just want to make things work, as that is what I want. And if that involves learning and adjusting to my partners needs I'll do that, not all the way and maybe not exactly the way he contemplates it, but i'll make an effort. However it is not going to happen in one day, it will take an effort from my partner too, and he would have to cope with some failures on the way. But can ENTJ's deal with that? That frightens me most... His extremely low tolerance of any imperfections.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millis View Post
    Well... I guess you have a really grounded reason to come with this comment.
    It's about your reason>>>>>>>> "this guy got under my skin, and it hurts like hell and he breaks my heart. And if not for THAT, I would defiantly not even consider giving it another go..."

    For your sake, I hope he never reads it. " It hurts. It hurts. It must mean I really care! Really! Really!"
    Like I said, get serious. And frankly, your comments do sound self-destructive.

  3. #13
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    It's about your reason>>>>>>>> "this guy got under my skin, and it hurts like hell and he breaks my heart. And if not for THAT, I would defiantly not even consider giving it another go..."

    For your sake, I hope he never reads it. " It hurts. It hurts. It must mean I really care! Really! Really!"
    Like I said, get serious. And frankly, your comments do sound self-destructive.
    Ha,ha ok, I don't mind him reading that. He is into MBTI and we have been discussing that many times with him (we both love analysing )

    well, the point her is that I deeply feel for this guy (if you don't think that ENTP girl is capable of that is your problem), and If you have any constructive suggestions about ENTP/ENTJ relationship you are very welcome to come with them. Otherwise, I'm good thanks. I'm not self-destructive

  4. #14
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    ^ Still doesn't get it.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    ^ Still doesn't get it.
    Basically that tells more about how you think, than about how I think.

    Don't read yourself blind into one sentence but get a bigger picture

  6. #16
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    I can see why you two have problems.

  7. #17
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I can see why you two have problems.
    I expect the problem to be, that his tolerance to potential adjustment problems to be too low to be able to cope with them. As jah, it does take an effort and some rounds... And I'm trying to gauge right now whether ENTJ is capable of such an effort...

  8. #18
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    ^ Still doesn't get it.
    For a person arrogant enough to think he can decode other peoples feelings from online forums: the pain of breaking op is not the reason for having feeling but it is an indicator of the strength of the feelings (sorry I sort of assumed anybody could get it). If that doesn't work for you, I guess you are lucky.

  9. #19
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millis View Post
    NOPE
    He is not negging me. He gives A LOT, but hell jah, he also demands A LOT.

    I guess some of the problems were coursed by the fact that I was not giving him a positive recognition, which such a GRAND man expects (LOL). Though he IS really cool...but I prefer when people can both be cool and humble, I respect that a lot. So I tend to tease him and provoke him, instead of giving him what he expects from a partner. Usually its in a joke form or in a form of intellectual discussion, and he does except my points once in a while but when it comes to daily life routines he cant take it.
    If you really want to make this relationship work, stop poking at him to make him change to your values.

    If he really wants this relationship to work, he's going to have to stop trying to change you too.

    That said, the ENTP/ENTJ dynamic is one fraught full of issues. Both extrovert control of their surroundings, in order to maintain autonomy. Can you both stand down, accept and respect each other?

  10. #20
    Junior Member Millis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    If you really want to make this relationship work, stop poking at him to make him change to your values.

    If he really wants this relationship to work, he's going to have to stop trying to change you too.

    That said, the ENTP/ENTJ dynamic is one fraught full of issues. Both extrovert control of their surroundings, in order to maintain autonomy. Can you both stand down, accept and respect each other?
    Thanks, that was a useful peace of advice
    I only can speak for myself, I think I can.

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