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[NT] Tendency to cut people out? (Rationals)

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
I don't think it's as much we know ourselves as it is us trusting our intuition. I really don't know my feelings all that well. I expressed that to my friend, I think it turned them off.

People have a tendency to shy away from anything they don't understand.
 

squibbles

New member
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
77
MBTI Type
INTJ
A LOT of what has been said here (especially the hatred of the phone) really speaks to me...

In fact, there are two people that are friendly acquaintances of mine that I've been avoiding this summer, even though they want to speak to me. I feel really bad about ignoring people, but at the same time I just kind of want to be by myself right now.

Although there are two people that I love speaking on the phone with. It's really weird, since it can literally give me panic attacks with other people.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
This is utilitarian thinking, what isnt useful must be dispensed with. Most distinctly emphasized by the Thinking mindset.

This is what's wrong with 90% of your posts. You don't consider the alternative and are blinded by confirmation bias. Behavior like this can be thought of as more likely by each temperament. NF will decide how they feel about you and be guided by those feelings; SPs will judge how much they can benefit from and exploit the friendship and make a decision accordingly; SJs will make a cold determination about how the friendship fits their parameters of an acceptable appropriate friendship and cut you off or keep you, without feeling much about it. It works for any type you choose, and his post doesn't clue you into anything special. This isn't type-specific behavior as all the posts above mine show -- it's universal behavior based on innate preferences for comfort. That's it.
 

DigitalMethod

Content. Content?
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
970
MBTI Type
INTJ
A LOT of what has been said here (especially the hatred of the phone) really speaks to me...

In fact, there are two people that are friendly acquaintances of mine that I've been avoiding this summer, even though they want to speak to me. I feel really bad about ignoring people, but at the same time I just kind of want to be by myself right now.

Although there are two people that I love speaking on the phone with. It's really weird, since it can literally give me panic attacks with other people.

This sounds really familiar to me, too familiar. :huh:
 

DigitalMethod

Content. Content?
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
970
MBTI Type
INTJ
This is what's wrong with 90% of your posts. You don't consider the alternative and are blinded by confirmation bias. Behavior like this can be thought of as more likely by each temperament. NF will decide how they feel about you and be guided by those feelings; SPs will judge how much they can benefit from and exploit the friendship and make a decision accordingly; SJs will make a cold determination about how the friendship fits their parameters of an acceptable appropriate friendship and cut you off or keep you, without feeling much about it. It works for any type you choose, and his post doesn't clue you into anything special. This isn't type-specific behavior as all the posts above mine show -- it's universal behavior based on innate preferences for comfort. That's it.

It's universal yes. But every type approaches the problem differently, for example an NF may have a harder time than an NT with cutting people out. And that's the insight I was looking for, how other's do it, and how hard/easy it is for them.
 

squibbles

New member
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
77
MBTI Type
INTJ
This sounds really familiar to me, too familiar. :huh:
Hey, I have glasses that are identical to the ones in your avatar.

Ok back on topic...yeah, I wish I could just be more social sometimes. When I'm at college I definitely am more social and enjoy spending time with my friends, but I have a feeling that's because I hang out with them in a more structured environment (debate team, and we meet at least three times a week).

...Whereas when I come home for breaks, I don't really feel like seeing my friends here. I think that partly this is because I identify more with the people I've met at college, but also part of it is just my weirdness/wanting to be alone. And so those are the people I wind up cutting out...and with some of these people it's really for the better, while with others, I just can't explain why I do it. It has nothing to do with them...I just go into Hermit Mode. :cry:
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Great link to enlighten those who lump Fe and Fi into a blob. Here are the most relevant parts (in my most humble opinion) for the lazy people:

"Here's the thing: one hallmark of introverted Feeling is to withdraw, to end relationships. This process is the one most likely to treat another as persona non grata when a value has been violated. So look back over your life now and notice all the times you've walked away, turned your back on someone, ended a relationship. Those would be manifestations of introverted Feeling.

And we've all done it. Every one of us (I believe) has felt obliged to end a relationship for one reason or other that probably had to do with our values. By extension, we may rely on those examples as proof that ALL of us can and do use ALL of the processes. Nobody got overlooked when it came to the introverted Feeling function.

The piece to notice is how readily doing that comes to you, and how easily or gracefully you do it. Chances are that people with introverted Feeling as a preferred process do it with greater style and grace than those of us who (like me) prefer extraverted Feeling.


I don't agree, however with the "easily or gracefully" bit for Fi versus Fe. Dude, it hurts a lot! I suspect that it's not easy/easier, but necessary for certain people. BTW, it's notable that many INFJs (Fe) seem to find cutting out necessary as well. In summation, rationals, we feelers are with you!
 
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