User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 49

  1. #11
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    I will put up with a LOT of crap before I cut someone out, but basically, when 1) you're a jerk and don't seem to care how it affects others, or 2) are so draining that you're sucking up all my energy and don't seem to care or notice, then I might decide that you are not worth the time and energy.

  2. #12
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    970

    Default

    So, INFJ, INTJ, INTP all do it really.. now I'm curious about INFPs.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  3. #13
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    970

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I will put up with a LOT of crap before I cut someone out, but basically, when 1) you're a jerk and don't seem to care how it affects others, or 2) are so draining that you're sucking up all my energy and don't seem to care or notice, then I might decide that you are not worth the time and energy.
    I agree.
    But, my issue with this is, I really expect for the people to criticize me and tell me I have been a jerk, and then tell me why. I really won't pick up on it otherwise unless they comment on it to me, or give me huge hints. Same goes with the sucking energy thing. I'd change if I cared for the person, they'd just have to tell me.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    I agree.
    But, my issue with this is, I really expect for the people to criticize me and tell me I have been a jerk, and then tell me why. I really won't pick up on it otherwise unless they comment on it to me, or give me huge hints. Same goes with the sucking energy thing. I'd change if I cared for the person, they'd just have to tell me.
    People aren't generally very logical. If you really want to know, you have to ask in a direct and clear manner. I personally could care less if people I'm not close to think I'm a jerk.

  5. #15

    Default

    I don't really cut people out unless they really cross a line. This has happened a couple of times. I think it was a way of avoiding conflict. I just realized these people couldn't be trusted and haven't spoken to them since. I have tried to change this somewhat though. One of these instances I didn't talk to a close friend for years, but then one day we hung out and actually talked about the issues I had with them from the past. It seems there was a big misunderstanding between us. We are good friends again. If I had expressed myself earlier it might not have been 2 years until we spoke again.

    As far as acquaintances go. If I run into them I will be cordial, but they will have a very difficult time getting me to hang out or answer the telephone. Usually they will loose interest. I know I sound like an "a" hole, but I can only handle having a few very close friends and I (very) often do not like to be disturbed.
    Happy colored marbles that are rolling in my head..." - Ween

  6. #16
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    970

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Minako-bot View Post
    People aren't generally very logical. If you really want to know, you have to ask in a direct and clear manner. I personally could care less if people I'm not close to think I'm a jerk.
    But then sometimes people will not answer truthfully even if you ask directly. Because they'd prefer to not hurt feelings and such. Which I respect... but honestly my feelings would be hurt more from having a friendship where we aren't on the same level.

    I think my preferred method would be for others to point out if I am being a jerk, I'd prefer that over having to ask, and I'd prefer having to ask over ignoring the situation all together.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    [QUOTE=DigitalMethod;225063]But then sometimes people will not answer truthfully even if you ask directly. [QUOTE]
    Ah, then it can't be helped. That type of situation is out of your control. Just put that sort of thing out of your mind instead of fixating on it, since it can't be changed.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    I think my preferred method would be for others to point out if I am being a jerk, I'd prefer that over having to ask, and I'd prefer having to ask over ignoring the situation all together.
    You have figured out your solution. As long as you tell people in a clear manner about wanting to be told when your being a jerk, things should work according to the sequence of events you prefer.

  8. #18
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    I agree.
    But, my issue with this is, I really expect for the people to criticize me and tell me I have been a jerk, and then tell me why. I really won't pick up on it otherwise unless they comment on it to me, or give me huge hints. Same goes with the sucking energy thing. I'd change if I cared for the person, they'd just have to tell me.
    Generally, before I cut someone out, I have discussed certain problematic issues with them before. It's come up in some way, and I've tried to deal with it, but ultimately, their own unwillingness to not be a jerk or manipulative or what have you wins out. I don't cut you off until it's really getting to the point where being your friend is stressing me out and making me feel bad. At that point, it's a relief to have you gone.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    eNtP
    Enneagram
    4w5/
    Posts
    252

    Default

    Not really wanting to be sarcastic but....

    SJ - narrow minded peeps that think they're always right, or are compelled to show most of the time that they're right (the archetype that I may be tempted to cut ties with if things go unhealthy).

    SP - narrow minded peeps who, unlike SJ's, will probably listen to an intuitive, but still they probably still won't get what the intuitive would say if it's insight related. Lack of N perhaps. But they could be the better people to hang out with because even if they don't see insights the way an intuitive does it, at least their P function diminishes their prejudice.

    NxJ = the archetypes of peeps who may wanna hang out with an xNxP, but the difference is, unlike the sensors who hardly get a clue, the NJs know where an xNxP's perspective is coming from (N thing). Still, they still have the urge of proving that they're right (J thing).

    Eventually, this may boil down to an intuitive staying in the company of another intuitive. Sensors are not as driven to have a sense of personal growth as much an an intuitive (which makes me think that growth is actually an N thing), so eventually, if things get unhealthy, the temptation to leave the person would be there.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Kristiana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    326

    Default

    If I actively decide to never speak to someone again, I will tell him/her, and I will explain why. This has happened three or four times that I know of. (On a similar note, an ex of mine decided to do the same to me, because he was mad that I'd started dating quite soon after we'd broken up. Oy.)

    DigitalMethod, how old are you? Also, is the friend in question male or female? Use special caution if she is female, because I've seen in my own life and in the lives of others how many girls take it, and it can be very psychologically damaging.
    j'adore les chats

Similar Threads

  1. [Fe] Cutting people out
    By FunnyDigestion in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 01-29-2012, 09:08 PM
  2. [NF] Trying to figure people out
    By EnflamedHeartofSand in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-29-2010, 05:03 PM
  3. The How To Guide To Freaking People Out:
    By ThatGirl in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 106
    Last Post: 07-14-2010, 08:11 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO