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[NT] "Your intelligence is quite attractive..."

The Ü™

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...that is what she said to me. She said nothing about me being OCMâ„¢ or anything along those lines, which I was a bit offended by, considering that is the aspect of myself I was working on the most (for at least two years, I think), but anyway, the nature of this comment sent to me is very difficult to respond to. How would you respond to similar comments? Would you say "Thanks" or something more?
 

Jaguar

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Uber, you're obsessed with what she said to you, since you're obsessed with your looks. Would you rather she call you a fucking idiot? I think not. She gave you a compliment.
 

Such Irony

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I'd have mixed feelings. I'd be very flattered that someone thought of me as highly intelligent since its one of the qualities I value the most. But I'd also wonder, if he was just saying that to find something attractive about me because physically I don't quite measure up. I'd also think of it as kind of an odd remark, as intelligence, even high intelligence isn't typically associated with attractiveness.
 

Coriolis

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I'd have mixed feelings. I'd be very flattered that someone thought of me as highly intelligent since its one of the qualities I value the most. But I'd also wonder, if he was just saying that to find something attractive about me because physically I don't quite measure up. I'd also think of it as kind of an odd remark, as intelligence, even high intelligence isn't typically associated with attractiveness.
Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and if someone were drawn to that particular quality in me, I would consider it a good sign. It is affirming to be valued for something I also value. I have never put much stock in what is "typical".

I would probably respond by asking "why", but then that would probably be my response to any compliment in the given situation.
 
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highlander

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I think it's a compliment. Not sure I get this.
 

The Ü™

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Well, the "compliment" made me mostly angry at myself, because it tells me that if she's not complimenting my looks, I have yet to reach PürOCM™, and if she's not complimenting me on something I want to be complimented on, it would be an insult, would it not? I know I'm exceptionally intelligent, and she's merely stating the obvious.

Oh yeah, and how would you respond to it?
 

Totenkindly

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Right now you are viewing this in ways that are self-absorbed and undermining your chance at forming relationships.

For this particular case, say "thank you" and ask her what she likes to talk about. It's elementary, my dear Uber: If she values intelligence and she is serious in her comments to you, then I'm sure she has some intelligent thoughts on some topic that you both can discuss together. Get her to start talking.
 

Zarathustra

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I'd have mixed feelings. I'd be very flattered that someone thought of me as highly intelligent since its one of the qualities I value the most. But I'd also wonder, if he was just saying that to find something attractive about me because physically I don't quite measure up. I'd also think of it as kind of an odd remark, as intelligence, even high intelligence isn't typically associated with attractiveness.

Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and if someone were drawn to that particular quality in me, I would consider it a good sign. It is affirming to be valued for something I also value. I have never lut much stock in what is "typical".

I would probably respond by asking "why", but then that would probably be my response to any compliment in the given situation.

Yeah, I'm not sure what you're talking about SuchIrony.

When a chick genuinely finds intelligence attractive, that's attractive in and of itself.

I mean, if a chick doesn't count that as one of her most desired qualities in a potential mate, it means she's cool with dating an idiot.
 

Nicki

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I'd be pretty apathetic towards that compliment. A lot of times, when people don't want to outright call you plain or physically unattractive, they end up complimenting you on your intelligence or personality. But then again, some people genuinely find intelligence very attractive.
 

Coriolis

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I'd be pretty apathetic towards that compliment. A lot of times, when people don't want to outright call you plain or physically unattractive, they end up complimenting you on your intelligence or personality. But then again, some people genuinely find intelligence very attractive.
But some of us are plain, or not that physically attractive. That doesn't make us bad people, or even bad partners. It just means we do best with partners who value other things more. I tend to be suspicious when someone compliments me on my appearance, since I know I'm not much to look at. Compliments on positive qualities I know I do possess thus come across as more genuine, since I can see their basis in fact.
 

Nicki

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But some of us are plain, or not that physically attractive. That doesn't make us bad people, or even bad partners. It just means we do best with partners who value other things more. I tend to be suspicious when someone compliments me on my appearance, since I know I'm not much to look at. Compliments on positive qualities I know I do possess thus come across as more genuine, since I can see their basis in fact.

What I meant was that people aren't usually honest when they compliment you on your personality or intelligence. They just seem to be looking for something positive to say. Though when someone knows you well, those sort of compliments do hold more weight.
 

Kalach

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People, please. Unless she's British, "quite attractive" means "your intelligence is a small penis".
 

The Ü™

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Well, actually she just randomly sent me a message out of nowhere saying the title of this thread.
 

Rasofy

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She clearly wants to steal your kidneys. It's a trap, Uber!
 

Kalach

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"Your intelligence is quite attractive."
"Oh yeah? Well you should see my penis!"
"OH MAN IS THAT THE TIME WELL ITS BEEN GREAT"
"No, seriously, it's not where you'd expect it..."
"*intrigued*"

I say go for it.
 

Lexicon

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...that is what she said to me. She said nothing about me being OCMâ„¢ or anything along those lines, which I was a bit offended by, considering that is the aspect of myself I was working on the most (for at least two years, I think), but anyway, the nature of this comment sent to me is very difficult to respond to. How would you respond to similar comments? Would you say "Thanks" or something more?

I'd probably compliment someone on their mind before their physical features, so don't be so quick to get offended/disappointed. Some people are less in touch with the physical, or are uncomfortable giving compliments about appearance. People say that [&/or comments about physical features] because they see something in you that's interesting and refreshing, so take it as a compliment, & stop overthinking it, dork. She engaged you, expressing interest. Thanks is a good answer to compliments..

:drwho:
 
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