Hi all. I'm trying to make some improvements to myself, and I need some good advising. First, some background information to give you context:
I'm a 28 year old INTJ male. My childhood, teenager, and young adult years were much like the typical INTJ's: Kinda lonely and fucked up. I was very socially maladapted. I got picked on a fair bit (in high school and elementary that is). I had typical INTJ problems. I did not understand human behavior. I don't understand why people did what they did. I didn't really know how to have a regular conversation (it just didn't make sense to me. I didn't have an artistic rhythm or flow. I was just straight logic). I didn't have any understanding of my own emotions. It was a mess, and not a very pleasant one. At about age 25 I started seriously developing my feelings side. I consciously made the decision to do it. I just felt like there was "something to all this feelings stuff". It was a wild ride. There was a lot of depression involved. I learned a lot about myself and others. With myself, it was a struggle to accept who I was. I had this idea of what kind of human being would be ideal, and that I had to be that human being. I always tried to be perfect, and to have perfect control over myself. I saw how that doesn't work. There was a lot of internal conflict. I didn't know who I was, I didn't know who I should or wanted to be. I see now that I'm, for the most part, a regular human being with talents and with flaws. I accept that, I feel OK about that.
When it came to my judgments of others, I was really shocked at how irrational people were. I was shocked at how little principle people had, and how little they actually thought on their own. I couldn't believe it. How could people make so many irrational and purely emotionally driven decisions? Take vendettas for example. Why try to hurt someone who makes you angry? Hurting them is illogical, it doesn't help you. But people do. People do all kinds of irrational things driven purely by emotion. People don't really have principle, not to the level that I thought should be expected. Most people's sense of principles is taken from society at large. Whatever is the 'norm' is what they accept to be acceptable. People don't make independent assessments. Eventually, I came to have more acceptance for this. I'm still swallowing it.
All this personal growth and development has turned me into an extremely emotionally sensitive person. I see a good and a bad side to this. Being sensitive allows me to be sensitive to the needs of others. Being sensitive also means that my feelings are easily hurt. I want to retain the good side of sensitivity, while getting rid of the downside. In other words, I don't want to be such a little bitch anymore. I don't want to be so easily offended or hurt or bothered. I don't mean that something bothers me and I just keep it inside. I mean literally for stuff to not even register as something that would bother me. ENTP and ENTJ types are pretty good at this. I'm looking for some advising on how to accomplish this internal rewiring. It's a pretty drastic change I think. It's like altering my personality. But I need this!