[INTJ] Testing people

[Kalach]

Imma say no. It doesn't ring any bells, neither presently nor looking back to the past. I just want them to leave me alone or obey orders. Testing seems like it would consume time and lack outcome and thus be more frustrating than anything.

/sadly honest
/5w4 sp
/forever alone

 

[Winds of Thor]

Testing is not a genuine 'flow' from within. It's self-imposed and I think people do it out of selfishness or insecurity. Maybe other reasons too I'm not sure but...it's like taking time out or something. The camera doesn't ever stop rolling should be their lesson.

No. Because I don't need to test people.

Testing gives you information about yourself more than the people you 'test'. And I'd wager it's usually about trust issues.

Aphrodite knows the questions people are going to ask others before they even ask them .

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Test:


the means by which the presence, quality, or genuineness of anything is determined; a means of trial.
2.
the trial of the quality of something: to put to the test.
3.
a particular process or method for trying or assessing.
4.
a set of questions, problems, or the like, used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group; examination.
5.
Psychology . a set of standardized questions, problems, or tasks designed to elicit responses for use in measuring the traits, capacities, or achievements of an individual.


I just really want to know someone, how they are. I'm pretty open. But you know. Perhaps I do test subconsciously, because I don't really tell people about myself unless they've passed some sort of test.....I guess I let them deeper and deeper when they do? I really do not know.

I guess I don't test them for them, but perhaps I do test them for me. For knowing how much I can get/will get close to them, or let them close to me. Weird.

 

[highlander]

A CP Six, on the other hand, (which is what I think you are, if I'm not mistakened) is fighting against the recognition of that anxiety in the first place. Testing is still gonna happen, but it's going to be "unconscious" and rationalized. One strategy that I've experienced personally is for the Six to do their natural on-again, off-again thing and see if the other person sticks around. The Six may naturally run hot and cold, but the fact that that weeds out the unreliable is not a coincidence. Another approach that's possible is to do "boundary testing" behaviors to see if the other person can "handle" them. It's the same game an Eight may play, but differently motivated.

I'm not mentioning these to the exclusion of other testing strategies. I'm making the point with these examples that an average CP Six is gonna test in a way that allows them to avoid the underlying anxiety that's driving the behavior. If you're a better integrated Six, then it's possible that you may manage your anxiety in a way such that you don't engage in such behaviors. [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION], for instance, is one of the better integrated Sixes in my acquaintance, and you don't get the sense from him that he is doing anything but living his life. Doesn't mean he's never done such things, but that's the sense of where he is now. Same could be true of you.

I don't consciously test people though it is possible that I have done what you say. I do evaluate. Trustworthiness is very important to me and when trust is broken or more accurately, someone is disloyal, I can have a disproportionate reaction to it.

 

[Coriolis]

First of all, I'm defining "testing people" as things people do interpersonally to understand another individual in an active way. The connotation being that the interaction will somehow expose what's beneath the other parties' facade. I define the term as distinct from "games", because I feel those are for the purpose of eliciting a desired emotional response. Someone who tests has no end in mind; they simply seek more knowledge.

Yes. One of the most important qualities I test for is the ability to put up with me.

 

[Bilateral Entry]

I sure do test people: I give them a portal gun and put them through a labyrinth of puzzles.

I kid I kid. I used to, but I don't test people anymore. People are more or less generic in a lot of ways. You gotta offer them something, or they gotta want something from you to be your friend. Your company has to do something for them, emotionally. Pretty much everyone's like that. Also, everyone has moods, and how they behave will be based in large part on that. When someone likes what they're getting from you, they come around pretty often. If they don't like what they're getting from you, then you won't hear from them.

When it comes to someone's values (i.e. character, integrity) I tend to feel that out over time. I usually have some sense without "testing", and generally speaking, how much someone will do for you is a direct function of how long you've known them, and how many shared experiences you have.

 

[Rasofy]

To some extent, every non stupid person tests people. As social (and also sexual) beings, we need to know where we stand in order to calibrate our actions.

Personally, I'm pretty bad at doing it consciously, so I rarely try, but I can do a pretty good screening with the information that is spontaneously presented.

 

[Rex]

Do you mean to see if he or she is someone you might like to communicate with? Or do you mean that you are testing to see if they authentic? Or something else entirely?

To be fair i have not done it in a while. There has not been a need either.Not really been active on the forum the last 2ish years.

Online people (mostly here on this forum)
I tested your stability. How much of a neurotic person you are. etc.

Because i seek stability and someone that would be a good chat. For a long time.

I test your reactions to see where your at. Are you able to respect certain differences in people?

I would enjoy having more friends who are able to get my logic and think freely.


When you meet people face to face you don`t need to test people i feel. I can but i don`t have a strategy developed for it. I think a in general good conversation 1 on 1 or just three people and life experience is more than enough to se what kind of person he/she is.

If you got a brain that is.

 

[Ene]

To be fair i have not done it in a while. There has not been a need either.Not really been active on the forum the last 2ish years.

Online people (mostly here on this forum)
I tested your stability. How much of a neurotic person you are. etc.

Because i seek stability and someone that would be a good chat. For a long time.

I test your reactions to see where your at. Are you able to respect certain differences in people?

I would enjoy having more friends who are able to get my logic and think freely.


When you meet people face to face you don`t need to test people i feel. I can but i don`t have a strategy developed for it. I think a in general good conversation 1 on 1 or just three people and life experience is more than enough to se what kind of person he/she is.

If you got a brain that is.

Rex,

Oh, definitely, I test for these same reasons.
I do it all of the time, every time I communicate with any online person.
I also do it in real life to a cetain extent.
I think it's perfectly normal and sane to do that.

 

[ceecee]

Yes. One of the most important qualities I test for is the ability to put up with me.

True. Passing this is a real achievement.

I don't test as in - I'm going to do/say XYZ to set a benchmark for Person A. What I do is observe how they act/react in particular situations with particular circumstances. In the future, if this same situation arises, I will look to see if they react the same or differently. If so, why? This is all going on in my head, I rarely share it unless I think that information would be helpful in some way but usually people get somewhere between irritated and straight up pissed. Until I point out that they are probably doing a very similar thing.

 

[Coriolis]

True. Passing this is a real achievement.

I don't test as in - I'm going to do/say XYZ to set a benchmark for Person A. What I do is observe how they act/react in particular situations with particular circumstances. In the future, if this same situation arises, I will look to see if they react the same or differently. If so, why? This is all going on in my head, I rarely share it unless I think that information would be helpful in some way but usually people get somewhere between irritated and straight up pissed. Until I point out that they are probably doing a very similar thing.

Much of my testing involves accelerating the "getting to know me" process in people who have potential for a relationship, either romantic or friendly. I tend to be reserved and rather formal when just getting to know someone, out of desire for privacy but also to avoid giving offense or creating unnecessary conflict. If I see a more personal relationship might develop, I will selectively expose them to some of the more difficult aspects of how I interact, to see their response sooner rather than later. I will at the same time probe them for their own perspective in areas important to me. If the response is at all negative, I will revert to my original style and know that a more personal relationship is probably not a good idea.

 

[Giggly]

If I know someone is testing me, I get really nervous. I'd much rather not know about it.

 

[Coriolis]

If I know someone is testing me, I get really nervous. I'd much rather not know about it.

Not to worry; we don't usually tell, either before or after.

 

[Rex]

Correct.


i prefer to do it in your sleep.

 

[INTP]

when i see that people are trying to test me, i deliberately start to sabotage their test results(by playing along, but reacting differently than i would if they were being genuine about what ever they do to test) and stop caring what conclusions they make. im pretty sure im not the only one who reacts this way, so maybe think twice before acting ingenuine.

what comes to me, i dont test people, but prefer observing their reactions in non artificial setting

 

[Faceless Beauty]

Fellow INTJs.. Do you ever test the people you get to know?

I have been doing it a bit with people from this forum. No one but one (kinda) has made it.

I even stopped doing it and had one emo (as in emotional all the time about just about everything) guy but he vanished on hes own.. (from facebook)

In general this forum sticks out that way. I got more "friends" from dating pages than in total from here. I guess im not trying or something.


Do you ever test people in any way?

Testing people for what reason, though?
I just try to get to know people or what they are thinking at least. I don't need to test them if I just do that.

 

[WhoCares]

Testing people sounds like a waste of time and energy. You don't need to dig for what is in plain sight. Just give anyone an piece of rope and see how long it takes for them to hang themselves with it. Most people are not a mystery, how they act is always on display and if you just disconnect from the bs they say, and watch how they act you'll know everything necessary.

 

[Rex]

That is very true WhoCares.. But i can`t observe you from here.. Mind you i don`t think im going to be bothered too much with doing it in the future.

I might if im really dedicated to a project or a goal but otherwise not.

 

[Coriolis]

Testing people sounds like a waste of time and energy. You don't need to dig for what is in plain sight. Just give anyone an piece of rope and see how long it takes for them to hang themselves with it. Most people are not a mystery, how they act is always on display and if you just disconnect from the bs they say, and watch how they act you'll know everything necessary.

This is exactly what testing is, at least my versions of it -- giving them that rope, rather than waiting for them to get around to finding it. Of course, sometimes it helps to prepare the rope in advance . . .

 

[Sinshred]

I tend to read them, not test them. Dont wasting your precious time fellow.