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  1. #31
    Member 10blackroses's Avatar
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    Don't worry about it. I'm an INxP, a feeler when it comes to my own life, a thinker when relating to the outside world. Believe me, there are pros and cons for every personality type. With thinking (especially in an NT combination) comes detachment; you don't "connect" with your peers, you rarely feel you belong, others definitely don't feel you belong, and your mind never fully relaxes - there's always something in your thoughts that you want to reach, but it stays just outside your grasp. With feeling combined with intuition comes the will to please. You want to belong, and in most ways you do, but you never stop feeling that there's more to it than what you're experiencing. None of these things are fun.
    But, on the bright side, a Rational has an entertaining inner life. There are always interesting paradoxes to consider and funny hypothetical scenarios that can produce rather comical outcomes. A Rational with the right amount of mental stimulation will never get bored. An Idealist, on the other hand, often has the most rewarding relationships with friends and significant others, more so than any other group. In that way, as an INFP, your life will likely be more complete than it would if you were an ENTP.

    When it comes to how to change types: There are two ways, and none of them are in the least bit recommended. Believe me, I've tried both.

    The first one is not something you can control on your own. It requires a severe trauma from the outside; a terrifying moment or period that will either knock you out of your shell so you become hopelessly vulnerable, or knock you further into the shell that was already restraining you. If it hadn't been for certain childhood events, I'd probably be an ENFP. I'm not unhappy with how my personality turned out, but I know my life could be different. In your case, however, it would have been a disaster: You know yourself well enough to understand that you are an INFP, and a trauma of the dimensions I'm describing wouldn't only shake your emotions, but also everything you know and believe in. I'm an agnostic, but if I were to believe in God for a split second, I'd say something along the lines of "and I pray to God you won't have to go through any of that!"

    The other way is less dramatic, but possibly even more unhealthy. It involves fooling yourself into believing you are something you're not, and this would leave you with no directions, ambitions or idea of what you are and where you're going. Being a drifter like that is difficult, and it bleeds you dry. No matter how far you go with this method, it will only drain you, and it won't actually make you an ENTP, just a vague image of one that you will be the only one to believe. No fun in that either.

    My only advice is to research and check out ways that you can develop and nurture the best qualities of the INFP type; the best way to cope with the personality you have is to work with it and not against it. The most well-developed personalities, the ones that have understood and mastered their type to a T, are usually the happiest ones. That will take work too, but it won't leave you as something you're not, rather help you to be the best you can be.

  2. #32
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    Smoke crack and have unprotected sex with strangers.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    Smoke crack and have unprotected sex with strangers.
    lmfao

  4. #34
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10blackroses View Post
    An Idealist, on the other hand, often has the most rewarding relationships with friends and significant others, more so than any other group. In that way, as an INFP, your life will likely be more complete than it would if you were an ENTP.
    My relationships are severely unrewarding. My life also feels incomplete in that aspect. I find that all of my friends never understand what I'm saying (they're mostly ESFx) or they just don't care. It leaves me very lonely and sad.

    I feel like in my relationships I'm constantly giving and not recieving. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant or victimizing.
    I try to notice little things about people so I can use that information to help better them and make them happier. That's one reason I'm into MBTI types.
    I find that I want real, valuable relationships and all my Fe dominant friends like being friendly to everyone, but not deep with anyone.
    In conclusion, I feel severely misunderstood; my dominant Fi only causes me to feel hurt and lonely.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    I want to be an ENTP because they don't seem to care about pleasing people; they don't get hurt when they're misunderstood. They seem like the freest of all the types.

    From what everyone is saying, I should be happy with being an INFP and just better myself as an INFP. I understand that, but I won't give up in trying to change into an ENTP to be honest. Maybe one day I'll realize you're all right, but for now, I'm not happy. What's the point in being yourself and unhappy?

  6. #36
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I want to be clever, tough, adventurous, brave, quick-witted, persuasive, and most of all, in control.

    see the world as full of possibilities....know how to navigate it.
    You can be INFP and be/do all of that. There are ENTP losers also.

    You can be pretty much whoever you want to be. Whenever you say, "I can't do X because I'm Y", then you're limiting yourself. Most of those limits are false and only in your head.

    Your first step is to replace your negative and limiting thoughts with encouraging, positive ones. Treat yourself like you'd treat others who are down, depressed, and discouraged. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, then don't say it to yourself. Stop reinforcing an identity...just like if you were to tell a kid they're stupid over & over, they may believe it & perform accordingly, if you're always telling yourself that you're too emo & misunderstood then that's what you'll live up to. Instead, just BE & respond in real time, without expectations for yourself or others, which is truly exploring possibilities as they arise, instead getting stuck on inner ideals.

    We can talk about more steps after you mull that over & try it out. Plus, I have to go right now, but maybe I'll say more later.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #37
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Wow. Thank you. I needed to hear this.

  8. #38
    Member 10blackroses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    My relationships are severely unrewarding. My life also feels incomplete in that aspect. I find that all of my friends never understand what I'm saying (they're mostly ESFx) or they just don't care. It leaves me very lonely and sad.

    I feel like in my relationships I'm constantly giving and not recieving. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant or victimizing.
    I try to notice little things about people so I can use that information to help better them and make them happier. That's one reason I'm into MBTI types.
    I find that I want real, valuable relationships and all my Fe dominant friends like being friendly to everyone, but not deep with anyone.
    In conclusion, I feel severely misunderstood; my dominant Fi only causes me to feel hurt and lonely.
    I don't think it sounds arrogant or victimizing at all. I've been there too, I've been exploited by "friends" and received next to nothing in return, so no lack of understanding there. But seriously, stop beating yourself up for that. Has it ever occurred to you that you might simply have the wrong kind of friends? It's not a given that any type on N goes well with any kind of S - I, for one, come from a family which is composed almost entirely of SJs, and with my NP combination it's quite natural that I don't quite fit in. I've always been the black sheep whoever I've been with, and most Ns who associate mainly with Ss will always be the black sheep.
    But being tough once goes a long way. If your friends are taking advantage, they're not really your friends at all, and then walking away from them is not at all a betrayal, only self-preservation. It's better to walk away before they take everything you have, than to let them take it and leave you with absolutely nothing. Breaking the pattern once is enough - once you're done with people who can't appreciate an INFP for what she is, you can start looking for people who actually appreciate black sheeps the way we deserve

  9. #39
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I'm tired of being an INFP. All I ever do is feel, think and make myself promises to help me become a perfect person. I constantly break my promises. Everyday I wake up thinking, 'Today will be the day that I start life and become the ideal me.' I. Always. Fail. The fact that I can't change myself sickens me.

    I'm irretrievably overwhelmed with emotions-the world is so beautiful and there's so much pain in it. I want every single human being to be happy, to be the best person they can be. It's too big though, I don't know how to help the world because it's too chaotic and I don't know everything, not even close. If I did know everything I wouldn't know how to organize that information, I don't even know how to organize my current thoughts. There are to many factors in life and to me, life is overwhelming, confusing, hard, chaotic, a puzzle, uncontrollable- it's too much and it's too hard.

    I want to become an ENTP. I want to be like Barney Stinson, the Joker, Bugs Bunny, Tom Sawyer, Tyler Durdan, Jack Sparrow, Ferris Bueller, Tony Stark.. some are arguably not ENTP, but I hope you understand what I'm looking to become. I want to not be so emotional.. I want to be clever, tough, adventurous, brave, quick-witted, persuasive, and most of all, in control.

    Like an INFP, ENTPs see the world as full of possibilities, the difference is that they know how to navigate it.

    Please tell me specific steps I can take, actions I can do, thoughts I can think to become an ENTP. Thank you.
    My first posts on this forum from 2008 honestly seem like a different person. Completely honest. I would not know him. I typed INFP at the time (Babyylon Candle anyone?).

    How old are you? The type purists are wrong to say type doesn't/can't change. People who are agnostic to type (ie just simple brain studying people) can tell you that the brain does change in such a way that our personalities, some parts, DO change sometimes drastically even into our twenties.

    No, a true INFP wont become an ENTP. However, it's easy to imagine that a teenager/early twenties ENTP who has high neuroticism and social anxiety could easily mistake themselves for being "F" and "I" depending on hiw they chose to read into the type theories. You could conceivably grow out of those things, maybe. hell even you example of Barney stinson was a complete introvert save the world wuss until his gf dumped him and he banged a heartless cougar as his first lay! (first season).

    You can't have a brain transplant, but an environment transplant can almost be the same thing if your the type of person to be easily affected by such things.

    Many peoples "type problems" on this forum are actually just neuroticism issues. It took me a long time to realize that, but I'm now fairly certain of it. "deep thinking" on identity issues just makes the problem worse. You need to think about how you're going to change your environment and the way you react to it. Get out of your head! Accomplish that and you'll be happy being any type.

  10. #40
    Member 10blackroses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venom View Post
    Many peoples "type problems" on this forum are actually just neuroticism issues. It took me a long time to realize that, but I'm now fairly certain of it. "deep thinking" on identity issues just makes the problem worse. You need to think about how you're going to change your environment and the way you react to it. Get out of your head! Accomplish that and you'll be happy being any type.
    Yep, there you go. I know many people with slightly neurotic issues whose types would probably be seen otherwise if they didn't have those traits. I'm one of them myself too. I think it all comes down to one thing: Whether you are a depressed INFP (any depressed type would be prone to wishing they were different) or a not fully developed version of another type. Not to be an INFP hater (I really shouldn't be, I'm practically an INFP myself), but they are statistically the type most prone to depression and mental issues. BUT: As Venom pointed out, we might have it the wrong way around - it may not be the INFP that make these problems pop up, maybe it's the problem that makes some non-INFPs seem like INFPs even when they're not. So: Find out first if you're really an INFP and work your way from that. I'm sure things will turn out fine, and I was hurting myself for years, so if I say things will be fine, I'm pretty darn sure it will.

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