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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    The latter, I want to be perfect, but it's too hard. I can barely even do things normal people can do, like complete homework on time. Then I change for awhile, do my homework for like a month and after, revert back to being lazy, unmotivated and just sad.
    I'll never give up on trying to be better though, which is the worst of all. I'll never be satisfied.
    I relate to all of that unfortunately. Poor thing The question is though whether ENTPs are immune from any frustration as they certainly aren't when it comes to being unmotivated and lazy. Have you been checked for ADHD?

    There isn't much I can say but in my case (I'm 25 now) the sharp edges have faded and there is a bigger capacity for follow through and the mind can organise and strategise plans to complete tasks (though there is uncertainty when applying a long line of logic.) Don't give up on yourself just yet, the teenage years are really hard and when they pass perhaps the desire for perfection would be just that little more tolerable.

  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I expected to hear you can't change your type. The biggest thing I want to change, which I probably should've specified in my original post, is that I'm tired of wanting to change. I'm tired of trying to be perfect. That's why I want to be an ENTP, they don't seem to care to be perfect. I basically just want to be the opposite of what I am.
    I'm 16 years old, which could be a reason why I'm so emotional.
    Thank you all for replying with your wise advice.

    Why can't one change his MBTI type?
    Where does one's MBTI type come from?
    If it's any consolation, it's a common thing in mid-teenage years to test the limits of yourself and seek to change yourself entirely - the "rebellious" phase in another manifestation. The teenage years are when most of us play with and eventually solidify identity - for a 4, that will be even more potent. Creating and seeking an idealized self is very much a part of that. It's also a time when life tends to seem comparatively harder. It will probably ease up in a few years, then get harder again, then ease again.

    Standuble gave a pretty good explanation, but basically MBTI is simply a description of brain-pattern preferences, describing what mental strategies we tend to use most to take in (Ne/Ni/Se/Si) and organize (Ti/Te/Fi/Fe) data. It's not so much that you can't change than that the likelihood is so infinitesimally small that there's little point - it's probably only realistic in the case of major brain trauma - because you've been using and building on these strategies ever since you gained consciousness in the womb, and your brain connections have grown and developed around these patterns.

    Not to give you a stupidly simple answer, but why do you feel like you have to be perfect? What problems would it fix? Like Rex and The Great One said, developing your detached, logical side would help. You will get less controlling with Te as you learn to wield it more finely and apply it in a more precise manner. It can feel heavy-handed when it's immature, I know that from personal experience! Kind of like thudding a big wooden club around. It gets better with practice, though.

    What you wrote also made me think of this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Enneagram Institute
    Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations. A Four we know shared with us that he spent most of his spare time listening to classical music while fantasizing about being a great concert pianist—à la Vladimir Horowitz. Unfortunately, his commitment to practicing fell far short of his fantasized self-image, and he was often embarrassed when people asked him to play for them. His actual abilities, while not poor, became sources of shame.

  3. #13
    Almöhi Stephano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I'm tired of being an INFP.
    I want to become an ENTP.
    Just being an ENTP doesn't let you be like Barney Stinson or Tony Stark, it just takes confidence a bit of craziness to be a superhero

    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    All I ever do is feel, think and make myself promises to help me become a perfect person. I constantly break my promises. Everyday I wake up thinking, 'Today will be the day that I start life and become the ideal me.' I. Always. Fail. The fact that I can't change myself sickens me.
    Don't try to be a perfect person. No one even does like perfect persons. Look at me, I'm sitting here in front of the computer and haven't got anything better to do than writing posts in this forum.
    Cheer up! You're at least Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Tim Burton.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Wow thanks, that makes a lot of sense.

    I want to be perfect because everything is so overwhelming. I need for everything in my life to be perfect so I can function without worrying. I get very stressed when things are not where they should be or how they should be. It makes me so frustrated and cry a lot and almost. It also makes me scared I guess.. idk what of though. Either my life needs to be COMPLETELY organized, or it'll be a huge mess and I'll give up on trying at anything. That may sound crazy, but my mind can only take so much.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Did you just..change? Or did you do something to change?

  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Wow thanks, that makes a lot of sense.

    I want to be perfect because everything is so overwhelming. I need for everything in my life to be perfect so I can function without worrying. I get very stressed when things are not where they should be or how they should be. It makes me so frustrated and cry a lot and almost. It also makes me scared I guess.. idk what of though. Either my life needs to be COMPLETELY organized, or it'll be a huge mess and I'll give up on trying at anything. That may sound crazy, but my mind can only take so much.
    Have you ever been tested for OCD or anxiety? Serious question. It might be helpful.

    Either way, talking to a counselor, if you haven't ever tried it, might be really useful. They can help you develop strategies to change your thought and behavior habits so that you are less stressed.

  7. #17
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    Don't try to become an ENTP -- you're not one. Do, however, develop your auxiliary Ne.

    That's your first step toward personal development (in Jungian typology, at least).

    Fwiw, tho, your issues likely have more to do with your being an enneagram 4.

    Resolve those issues, and you probably won't care about being an INFP.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I'm tired of being an INFP. All I ever do is feel, think and make myself promises to help me become a perfect person. I constantly break my promises. Everyday I wake up thinking, 'Today will be the day that I start life and become the ideal me.' I. Always. Fail. The fact that I can't change myself sickens me.

    Ya. Every thought counts, methinks.

  9. #19
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Another thing about being an idealist INFP, is that it's like learning: the more we achieve, the more we comprehend that there IS to achieve. My ideals about 'the perfect me' have changed over the years. Though I STILL lack confidence in myself regarding any subject I do not know enough about to reasonably teach a college level class on. However, no matter what I think of what I consider my shortcomings, I'm still perfectly ME.

  10. #20
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Abbey, you don't need to be perfect.
    Everyone has insecurities and shortcomings, and it's really easy to see that in yourself and be blind to it in others. But believe me, no matter how they seem, others have the same struggles as you, more or less.
    I assume that you are accepting of shortcomings in others. I assume that you wouldn't push someone away for being imperfect...
    So please stop doing this to yourself. It is possibe to accept yourself as imperfect and still have compassion for yourself, just as you naturally do for others.

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