• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] Ask an INTJ

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who will allow you complete control of the relationship (or almost complete), take complete control for themselves (or almost complete), or someone who will stand their ground and treat you like an equal, expecting the same in return?
The latter.

Standing up to other people is not important (I can do that for my partner), but standing up to me, voicing opinions and not being too submissive is crucial - otherwise one could just as well get a dog.
 

katharine12

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
4
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who will allow you complete control of the relationship (or almost complete), take complete control for themselves (or almost complete), or someone who will stand their ground and treat you like an equal, expecting the same in return?

I'd like someone who will stand his ground and treat me like an equal. It's in my nature to push it (whether it be a rule or a person), figuratively speaking, and I find I have little respect for pushovers. As soon as I lose respect for a man, the relationship is pretty much over.

I ask because an INTJ very close friend of mine (and ex-girlfriend) was in an on-and-off relationship with this very submissive guy for like 6 years but would often complain that he couldn't stand up for himself, but when the two of us dated (during one of the off parts of the long relationship), I did not submit or control but the relationship went nowhere and she ended it after about a month. Granted, I may have mocked her religion while we were discussing something, not thinking she would take it personally.

She seems to like being the boss but also likes to complain about other people not being independent or standing up for themselves.

Honestly, my first thought was that she sounds immature.
 

InTheFlesh

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
276
Enneagram
CFV
The latter.

Standing up to other people is not important (I can do that for my partner), but standing up to me, voicing opinions and not being too submissive is crucial - otherwise one could just as well get a dog.

I'd like to stress this.
When someone doesn't voice their opinion specifically because they know it will start an argument I almost want to tune out completely and ignore whatever they may next. I don't remember who said it, but whoever can be quoted as saying, "the most boring conversations are those in which everyone agrees," explained it my feelings on it perfectly.
 

Xyk

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2011
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Honestly, my first thought was that she sounds immature.

Well I'm 18 and she's like 20, i think. Possibly 19. I should probably know that :huh:. We dated when I was a junior in high school and she was a senior. We're both pretty young, and people keep telling me that brains don't finish developing until about 25. But yeah, okay, I got my answer. That's the answer I expected and hoped for too.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'd have a VERY tough time being with someone who couldn't stand up for themselves or wasn't independent. I have no issue with partners being on equal footing although there will always be areas one ipartner may have more power than the other, not necessarily over the other.

Yep. That's it exactly.
 

Malice

Boldly Gone
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
738
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2W3
INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?
 

ultimawepun

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2011
Messages
92
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w2
INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?

I honestly enjoy dancing, on occasions.

On attention: It's usually an on and off for me, and in the end, it depends on what kind of attention I'm getting. The dancing on stage attention, I do not mind.

I'm one of those unshy introverts though, and I think the vast majority of introverts aren't like that.
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?
I takes a lot of alcohol to make me feel conformable dancing in public, but it has happened a few times. Sometimes, though, when I am in a really good mood, I jump around to music in my apartment and do enjoy these moments of exuberance.
 

montecristo

New member
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
4
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
3w4
i love attention. i'm a 3 however and i can't dance. i've sung in public and i can't do that either. well whatthehell i just wanted to steal the show. =)
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hi there.
Question: Which mbti type would you consider yourself more similar to?
 

InTheFlesh

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
276
Enneagram
CFV
Hi there.
Question: Which mbti type would you consider yourself more similar to?

I like to think of myself as a balanced mixture of an INTP and INFJ.
But if I had to reduce it down to one, I see myself as an INFJ that developed Fe 60% then dove headfirst into Ti.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I like to think of myself as a balanced mixture of an INTP and INFJ.
But if I had to reduce it down to one, I see myself as an INFJ that developed Fe 60% then dove headfirst into Ti.

So, you're like an INTFJP? With Ni, Fe, Ti, and Te? I wonder what that's like. :D
 

InTheFlesh

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
276
Enneagram
CFV
So, you're like an INTFJP? With Ni, Fe, Ti, and Te? I wonder what that's like. :D

Half the time I think I should be wearing a helmet and the other half I wonder why so many people lack the ability to use logic. There's an element of Nietzschian volatility for me at least.
On the last test I took I scored Ni>Ti>Fe=Si, I think. Te isn't too high up there, but I'm a bit wary of the test's results.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Half the time I think I should be wearing a helmet and the other half I wonder why so many people lack the ability to use logic.

Hahaha. With that combination, I'd definitely keep the helmet on. Just kidding. Sounds like an interesting mix.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?

I like dancing. It helps that I have a dance partner that likes it too. The only drawback is the heels I have to wear. Me- 5'5. He - 6'4.
 

bionic

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
61
INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?

I like to dance when I'm in the mood. I usually dance around the house when I'm alone to spanish music.
 

knight

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
406
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
9
would you have sex with a gas mask on?
 
Top