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Thread: Ask an INTJ

  1. #521
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    How did the ENTJs outclass you all recently on the forum?

    They used to be the crazy ones!
    Reason always wins.

  2. #522
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    For those INTJs that have been or are presently in a relationship with an INTP, what were some of the things you had to learn about getting along with this type? What were some of the challenges you had to face with your INTP?

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    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    One of my best friends (INTJ) was a roommate in college with me for two years. We never fought and got along fantastic.

    Upon graduation he told me he didn't want to be friends anymore, which completely sidelined me. He said we no longer had similar interests and he didn't see the reason of us being friends anymore. Turns out there were issues he had for the past couple of years but, "talking about issues is more of my thing, not his."

    He went off to his engineering job and about two months later sent me a message telling me he misses how much fun we had rooming together.

    I'm assuming this is meant to be some sort of subtle apology? Should I even bother with this kid anymore?

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    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    One of my best friends (INTJ) was a roommate in college with me for two years. We never fought and got along fantastic.

    Upon graduation he told me he didn't want to be friends anymore, which completely sidelined me. He said we no longer had similar interests and he didn't see the reason of us being friends anymore. Turns out there were issues he had for the past couple of years but, "talking about issues is more of my thing, not his."

    He went off to his engineering job and about two months later sent me a message telling me he misses how much fun we had rooming together.

    I'm assuming this is meant to be some sort of subtle apology? Should I even bother with this kid anymore?
    No. He's an immature asshole, not someone you need in your life.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #525
    Dependable Skeleton Engineer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    One of my best friends (INTJ) was a roommate in college with me for two years. We never fought and got along fantastic.

    Upon graduation he told me he didn't want to be friends anymore, which completely sidelined me. He said we no longer had similar interests and he didn't see the reason of us being friends anymore. Turns out there were issues he had for the past couple of years but, "talking about issues is more of my thing, not his."

    He went off to his engineering job and about two months later sent me a message telling me he misses how much fun we had rooming together.

    I'm assuming this is meant to be some sort of subtle apology? Should I even bother with this kid anymore?
    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    No. He's an immature asshole, not someone you need in your life.
    I'm not so sure about that. He might have just been making mental separation before he knew he had to leave. Sometimes it's rough to say goodbye, and I know that I myself get a bit gruff in that regard. Or blunt. Whatever. It doesn't mean we don't care, it means we're pretty bad at communicating effectively with Feeler type (I know this from vast experience). Did he ever elaborate on what those issues were? That might give you some clue as to whether you should let him back in or not. My gut feeling is that he didn't mean to come off as harsh, then regretted it and sent you the message. Feelings take a bit to percolate for me, so it's usually a pretty delayed reaction before I communicate them. My advice? Give him one last chance-- if he fucks it up by being an ass again, drop him like a hot rock and don't look back.

    On a side note, this is partially the reason I'm glad my roomie is an ENTP. We actually talk about issues comfortably.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  6. #526
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    He went off to his engineering job and about two months later sent me a message telling me he misses how much fun we had rooming together.

    I'm assuming this is meant to be some sort of subtle apology? Should I even bother with this kid anymore?
    This really depends on if you felt it is worth to have him back as a friend. As the old saying goes, "Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder."

    It's really 50/50 scenario you're dealing with here, as he might not initiate the contact back. Though if you can envision having him as your friend for the next few years, then I wouldn't say it's bad for taking a chance.

  7. #527
    Boldly Gone Malice's Avatar
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    Here's one I thought I'd never ask: How do I convince my INTJ s/o to book a doctors appointment? :P

    About two months ago he came to me and asked me to remind him to book an appointment, I did. Since there's been no progress. I bring it up now and then (not to the point of nagging, mostly in a teasing way) but he still hasn't budged on it. Lol, being an adult I know I can't *make* him do these things, and it's not like he has anything life threatening (just wanted to get some things checked) but as an ESFJ I don't feel like I've done my 'duty' until the 'task' is complete. Do I just drop it? Or do you guys sometimes need a bit of a push to get things going?
    a little less conversation, a little more action please
    . captain's blog.

  8. #528
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malice View Post
    Here's one I thought I'd never ask: How do I convince my INTJ s/o to book a doctors appointment? :P

    About two months ago he came to me and asked me to remind him to book an appointment, I did. Since there's been no progress. I bring it up now and then (not to the point of nagging, mostly in a teasing way) but he still hasn't budged on it. Lol, being an adult I know I can't *make* him do these things, and it's not like he has anything life threatening (just wanted to get some things checked) but as an ESFJ I don't feel like I've done my 'duty' until the 'task' is complete. Do I just drop it? Or do you guys sometimes need a bit of a push to get things going?
    I think this might be more of a "guy" thing than an INTJ thing. I never understood why people would suffer needlessly when sick or injured so I always go to the doctor without prompting. I get my checkups and mammograms in a timely fashion. My ENFJ on the other hand.....it's like pulling teeth to get him to take something for a headache let alone see the doctor. He did go in for a physical this year and he is very healthy but it's frustrating to deal with him and his resistance.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #529
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    hmm

  10. #530
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    For those INTJs that have been or are presently in a relationship with an INTP, what were some of the things you had to learn about getting along with this type? What were some of the challenges you had to face with your INTP?
    I read this out to my INTJ girlfriend and she said immediately and very drily, 'Be patient. Don't expect any Te decisions. Oh, and sometimes they want to do silly and strange things and it's easier to just to humour them.'

    There you go.

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