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Thread: Ask an INTJ

  1. #341
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xyk View Post
    Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who will allow you complete control of the relationship (or almost complete), take complete control for themselves (or almost complete), or someone who will stand their ground and treat you like an equal, expecting the same in return?
    The latter.

    Standing up to other people is not important (I can do that for my partner), but standing up to me, voicing opinions and not being too submissive is crucial - otherwise one could just as well get a dog.

  2. #342
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xyk View Post
    Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who will allow you complete control of the relationship (or almost complete), take complete control for themselves (or almost complete), or someone who will stand their ground and treat you like an equal, expecting the same in return?
    I'd like someone who will stand his ground and treat me like an equal. It's in my nature to push it (whether it be a rule or a person), figuratively speaking, and I find I have little respect for pushovers. As soon as I lose respect for a man, the relationship is pretty much over.

    Quote Originally Posted by Xyk View Post
    I ask because an INTJ very close friend of mine (and ex-girlfriend) was in an on-and-off relationship with this very submissive guy for like 6 years but would often complain that he couldn't stand up for himself, but when the two of us dated (during one of the off parts of the long relationship), I did not submit or control but the relationship went nowhere and she ended it after about a month. Granted, I may have mocked her religion while we were discussing something, not thinking she would take it personally.

    She seems to like being the boss but also likes to complain about other people not being independent or standing up for themselves.
    Honestly, my first thought was that she sounds immature.

  3. #343
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    The latter.

    Standing up to other people is not important (I can do that for my partner), but standing up to me, voicing opinions and not being too submissive is crucial - otherwise one could just as well get a dog.
    I'd like to stress this.
    When someone doesn't voice their opinion specifically because they know it will start an argument I almost want to tune out completely and ignore whatever they may next. I don't remember who said it, but whoever can be quoted as saying, "the most boring conversations are those in which everyone agrees," explained it my feelings on it perfectly.

  4. #344
    Senior Member Xyk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katharine12 View Post
    Honestly, my first thought was that she sounds immature.
    Well I'm 18 and she's like 20, i think. Possibly 19. I should probably know that . We dated when I was a junior in high school and she was a senior. We're both pretty young, and people keep telling me that brains don't finish developing until about 25. But yeah, okay, I got my answer. That's the answer I expected and hoped for too.

  5. #345
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I'd have a VERY tough time being with someone who couldn't stand up for themselves or wasn't independent. I have no issue with partners being on equal footing although there will always be areas one ipartner may have more power than the other, not necessarily over the other.
    Yep. That's it exactly.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  6. #346
    Boldly Gone Malice's Avatar
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    INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?

  7. #347
    Member ultimawepun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malice View Post
    INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?
    I honestly enjoy dancing, on occasions.

    On attention: It's usually an on and off for me, and in the end, it depends on what kind of attention I'm getting. The dancing on stage attention, I do not mind.

    I'm one of those unshy introverts though, and I think the vast majority of introverts aren't like that.

  8. #348
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malice View Post
    INTJs: Do you enjoy dancing? Or would you rather not draw the attention to yourself?
    I takes a lot of alcohol to make me feel conformable dancing in public, but it has happened a few times. Sometimes, though, when I am in a really good mood, I jump around to music in my apartment and do enjoy these moments of exuberance.

  9. #349
    Junior Member montecristo's Avatar
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    i love attention. i'm a 3 however and i can't dance. i've sung in public and i can't do that either. well whatthehell i just wanted to steal the show. =)

  10. #350
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Hi there.
    Question: Which mbti type would you consider yourself more similar to?
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

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