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[MBTI General] I hate phonecalls. Why?

Aesthete

Gone
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Oct 6, 2012
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sp/sx
It's very common to hate phonecalls.

Phonecalls suck because the majority of human communication is non-verbal, i.e. body language and facial expressions, so you lose most of that and your voice and words become fundamental, therefore it is hard to communicate except for a very skilled verbal communicator, hence why telesales is such a difficult, stressful, and by extension skilled and well-remunerated, specialism.

It's not an mbti related issue.

+1
 

Hecuba

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I hate having to answer the phone. It's always at the worst moments when the parental units or some other person decides to call me. I find them generally to be an annoyance unless I am maybe talking to one of my grandparents who lives on the other side of the country and I do not see them often. But they are not as bad as wrong number callers, for some reason I get a lot of them and I think my old number belonged to a dealer or something. :shock:
 

cafe

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I hate the interruption of whatever it was I was doing more than anything. Once I'm talking it doesn't much bother me unless I get bored. Tone of voice is adequate for me in place of body language, probably because I mostly only talk to people I know pretty well, plus I'm kind of an auditory/verbal brained person.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I say just have an excuse on hand before you call them or they call you. lol
 

Bilateral Entry

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sx
I am an INTP, but just a little bit more on the I- than on the E-side. I can go out and have a very lively conversation for 3, 4 hours. People wouldn't think I'm an introvert. However 10 minutes on the phone just completely drains all energy out of me. With anyone. On any subject. I have a ENFJ-friend who can call for up to 45 minutes. Terrible, I communicated that a few times, but I guess that wouldn't stop an ENFJ.

Why does it cost so more energy to call than to talk in real life? Is it the pauses, the lack of other input than voice, is this TiNe, or what?

HI THERE, BEST FRIEND! How are you doing? Today I just saw the funnniest thing... I KNOOOW RIGHT?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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He is on average right. If you are purposefully not showing body language, then you may very well be making people uncomfortable...which may very well be your aim.
My aim is to get people to focus on my words, which I have selected with great care to convey my meaning as precisely as possible. I don't know what signals my body language might be conveying, so yes, I do my best to suppress it in the interests of avoiding mixed signals. I will sometimes use vocal inflections and pacing, however, for specific purposes such as highlighting certain points, conveying humor, building (or dashing) expectations, etc., especially when speaking to groups. It is easy for me to maintain a relatively neutral speech pattern as well, though. I don't know if this makes others uncomfortable. The only direct feedback I have received is an occasional observation that my nonverbal cues are very hard to read.

Hogwash?:laugh:

Nonverbal communication represents two-thirds of all communication.[1] Nonverbal communication can portray a message both verbally and with the correct body signals. Body signals comprise physical features, conscious and unconscious gestures and signals, and the mediation of personal space.[1] The wrong message can be established if the body language conveyed does not match a verbal message. Nonverbal communication strengthens a first impression in common situations like attracting a partner or in a business interview: impressions are on average formed within the first four seconds of contact.[1] First encounters or interactions with another person strongly affect a person's perception.[2] When the other person or group is absorbing the message they are focused on the entire environment around them, meaning the other person uses all five senses in the interaction: 83% sight, 11% hearing, 3% smell, 2% touch and 1% taste.[3]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication#Importance
I have read several similar claims, and still disagree. Consider the following example conversations:

1. My student and I discussing the experiment he conducted yesterday

2. My SO and I considering vacation options for the upcoming summer

3. A friend and I comparing notes on a movie we just saw

I fail to see how in any of these conversations more information is conveyed nonverbally than verbally. Just how do I use body language to say, "You should repeat this measurement with the old sample," or "I'd like to go somewhere we can hike", or even "this remake is even better than the original". Perhaps I am unusual, but if you are speaking to me and not listening to my words, there is absolutely no way you are getting anywhere near two-thirds of my meaning. Moreover, the meaning you infer is probably wrong.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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5,903
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My aim is to get people to focus on my words, which I have selected with great care to convey my meaning as precisely as possible. I don't know what signals my body language might be conveying, so yes, I do my best to suppress it in the interests of avoiding mixed signals. I will sometimes use vocal inflections and pacing, however, for specific purposes such as highlighting certain points, conveying humor, building (or dashing) expectations, etc., especially when speaking to groups. It is easy for me to maintain a relatively neutral speech pattern as well, though. I don't know if this makes others uncomfortable. The only direct feedback I have received is an occasional observation that my nonverbal cues are very hard to read.

Geez what an obsessive-compulsive approach to life
 

Nijntje

Warflower
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4w5
I just prefer to text. When I was growing up, you couldn't get me off the phone, but the older I get the more reluctant I am to physically talk to people (I find it exhausting), when I can just text instead. I figured it was an introversion thing.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Geez what an obsessive-compulsive approach to life
That makes it sound very time-intensive and energy-consuming, when in fact it is almost second-nature. I find it also makes for more accurate and efficient transfer of information.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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I hate the interruption of whatever it was I was doing more than anything. Once I'm talking it doesn't much bother me unless I get bored. Tone of voice is adequate for me in place of body language, probably because I mostly only talk to people I know pretty well, plus I'm kind of an auditory/verbal brained person.

Agree with all this, especially the unwanted interruption part. Also, phone calls often involve questions that completely leave me off guard. That's why I prefer to be the one doing the calling rather than receiving it. It's easier to go over what I want to say that way.
 

Froody Blue Gem

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I've always hated talking on the phone from an early age. When I was younger, it weirded me out how different some people's voices sounded on the phone. That's not the case anymore of course. xD It runs in the family, the most of my mediate family members and my grandma aren't phone people. Well, my mom loves the phone and goes on it a lot but she is an E and a fe-dom.

If unwanted people call me when I'm having my alone time, I'll actively put off picking it up because I perceive it as them infringing on my alone time. There are some people I never pick up the phone for because I'm just not used to talking to them. I'll only pick up if it's urgent/important. Another thing is that I've made the mistake of giving the wrong people my number in the past so that makes it a bit worse.
 
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One problem with phone calls or video chats is that you have to devote most of your attention to this conversation. So you can't take a bath, watch tv or type to other people without feeling a bit rude.

I blame mainly old people for keeping phone talking alive. They think they get more information if they call or see me in person. And it's a sign of respect to them. And a bad habit. Old people are also the ones who want to schedule meetings all day long that piss everyone off so much and make us all roll our eyes.

I know a few young people who still do this too. Well, phone calls and video chats.
 

Dan the INFP man

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I hate it too. IM is ok but hate the phone, I almost always let it go to voicemail unless it is someone I know I need to talk to. If I don’t recognize the number, it’s almost always a salesperson or recruiter.

If a person is in the same building that I need to speak with, I’ll almost always just go walk to their desk instead of using the phone, and if they aren’t there, send an email
 
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