• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] Bizarre behavior of my INTJ friend

W

WALMART

Guest
In your experience, have you found them all to be that way, or is it just the stupid ones?


No, not all. But it does seem INTJ's don't find value in modesty, at a rate higher than average compared to other types. I blame it on preference of Fi over Fe.


They're kinda "all-in" about their presumptions.
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Well, are you? You're referring to this person as your friend but you seem less than fond of him.. so, what's the deal?

I view friendship as a relationship of three possible categories. (1) Loose acquaintanceships, relationships that are founded on mutual interests and sentiments of superficial fondness, (2) relationships based on a substantial degree of trust and well-deserved mutual respect and (3) relationships based on a profound degree of trust and admiration.

I'd say he is in the first category, that makes him more of an acquaintance more than a friend.
 

Aesthete

Gone
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
384
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Could also be that he's generally disinterested in you and gives you short, stupid replies so that you mind your own business.

But there's still a problem with my presumption, as my INTJ friend (real friend, not acquaintance:D) will straight-out tell you he doesn't like you and not bother with you. If you call out his name, he might even ignore you (on purpose).

I don't think he's INTJ: his reasoning is quite faulty and shows just a surface-level understanding of MBTI: unless they've just started learning, INTJs tend to go deep into a subject they're interested in.
 

Aesthete

Gone
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
384
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am terribly disappointed in this thread: I thought it was going to go off-topic into discussing Rand's stupidity, but it seems I was wrong.:(
 

Josie

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2013
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1&5
But there's still a problem with my presumption, as my INTJ friend (real friend, not acquaintance:D) will straight-out tell you he doesn't like you and not bother with you. If you call out his name, he might even ignore you (on purpose).

*guffaw*

Sometimes, it just can't be helped. Leading up to firing an incompetent twit, I found myself telling him very dryly, "Your presence annoys me. Go away."

..and my ex husband (ESFJ) haaaaaaaated (include as many a's as you see fit) that he could bellow and bellow my name across the room/house/store/vehicle, and I didn't hear a thing. :)
 

Aesthete

Gone
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
384
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
*guffaw*

Sometimes, it just can't be helped. Leading up to firing an incompetent twit, I found myself telling him very dryly, "Your presence annoys me. Go away."

Not judging you; in fact, I wish I could be that blunt.:D I've got this mental layout of the school in my head, so if I see you in the hallway and don't want to talk to you, I'll walk in the other direction, figuring out (intuitively, mostly) in which direction you're most likely to head off, and staying away from anywhere I predict you'll go (I constantly scan the environment in such cases).:D

But if I don't like you, I try to sugar coat things and be diplomatic if the need to give my opinion arise.

..and my ex husband (ESFJ) haaaaaaaated (include as many a's as you see fit) that he could bellow and bellow my name across the room/house/store/vehicle, and I didn't hear a thing. :)

I think that's generally an Introvert thing: being deep in your thoughts helps block out the external world. Though my ESTJ brother tends to do it as well - except that he's so focused on some external object instead that he can't hear you.
 

Josie

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2013
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1&5
I think that's generally an Introvert thing: being deep in your thoughts helps block out the external world. Though my ESTJ brother tends to do it as well - except that he's so focused on some external object instead that he can't hear you.

I was being facetious, actually. I hear very well. However, I can quite happily choose to completely ignore another's existence and go about my day as if that person is truly not there.

His weird, controlling ESFJ *stuff* isn't worth engaging. Why bother?
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I don't think he's INTJ: his reasoning is quite faulty and shows just a surface-level understanding of MBTI: unless they've just started learning, INTJs tend to go deep into a subject they're interested in.

I don't think that all INTJs are good at making reasonable arguments, that all extroverts are socially skilled, that all introverts are reflective, that all intuitives are imaginative or that all sensors are practical. All of the aforementioned skills take time and effort to cultivate, no type can develop them without deliberate practice.
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
*guffaw*

Sometimes, it just can't be helped. Leading up to firing an incompetent twit, I found myself telling him very dryly, "Your presence annoys me. Go away."

..and my ex husband (ESFJ) haaaaaaaated (include as many a's as you see fit) that he could bellow and bellow my name across the room/house/store/vehicle, and I didn't hear a thing. :)

What sort of a business are you running? As an entrepreneur myself, I prefer to keep as many options open as possible. So, it would take a great deal for me to outright fire a sub-contractor, I'd rather cease giving them work and refrain from doing so until I am confident that they facilitate and expedite the achievement of my business objectives. It may indeed be the case that they will never be useful to me, but it still takes a special kind of incompetence for me to completely shut the door on a prospective assistant. I don't know if this has anything to do with my type, but that's an interesting hypothesis to explore.
 

Josie

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2013
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1&5
What sort of a business are you running? As an entrepreneur myself, I prefer to keep as many options open as possible. So, it would take a great deal for me to outright fire a sub-contractor, I'd rather cease giving them work and refrain from doing so until I am confident that they facilitate and expedite the achievement of my business objectives. It may indeed be the case that they will never be useful to me, but it still takes a special kind of incompetence for me to completely shut the door on a prospective assistant. I don't know if this has anything to do with my type, but that's an interesting hypothesis to explore.

I was managing a store. In sales. Being that sales require squeezing extra dough out of people in a time when people do not have the extra dough to be squoze.. I was pretty ruthless in seeing to it I had the right people making up my team. He didn't fit. That said, I think I can empathize with your thoughts here. I wanted him gone from the moment I walked in , but I let him bumble along with us for about a month. Why? Because I do not like messing with people's livelihoods, even if they are incompetent twits. I scolded, I made him uncomfortable, I was rigorous in my retraining of him, and I encouraged heavily that he seek out another job but was also careful to note that I would wait for him to find one that would be able to match his current pay. Just because I wanted to scrape his face across the floor at *my* store doesn't mean he wouldn't be a better fit somewhere else for equal compensation. Sure enough! The farm feed store was paying surprisingly well and BONUS! he got to dress up like an idiot and do nothing all day. He was in heaven.

I'm not in your shoes and I don't know the details of your work, however if I am to imagine myself in your shoes I don't feel I'd be as lenient there either. Contractors are notorious for lagging and being a general pain in the ass because they *know* they possess a skill set which you do not. So you *need* them.

My thoughts? There are more of you. I'm here to employ you - not become your personal, juicy chew toy. YOU, blue, are the one with the widespread skill set here. Or else you wouldn't be an entrepreneur. You'd be a contractor. Like them. With a very specialized skill that only focuses on a narrow area. Yes, you do need them but not so terribly awfully bad that you concede to anal torture in the process.
 

Aesthete

Gone
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
384
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't think that all INTJs are good at making reasonable arguments, that all extroverts are socially skilled, that all introverts are reflective, that all intuitives are imaginative or that all sensors are practical. All of the aforementioned skills take time and effort to cultivate, no type can develop them without deliberate practice.

Agreed; but considering he's at least in his twenties (and, thus, probably had sufficient time to develop his primary and secondary function), and that INTJs tend to go deep into a subject that interests them, it seems odd for him to make such a mistake.
 
Top