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Thread: Sad INTP

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Default Sad INTP

    Could you guys help me out, please? I'm talking to a very depressed INTP at the moment and I was wondering if you guys could help me say something to make him feel better or help him out. I don't know if anything I say will help...he's just in that mode where he doesn't even want to try to be happy. I wonder if I should perhaps encourage him to get out and do stuff...right now he just stays at home alone a lot and surfs the net. Or perhaps remind him that if all he does is dwell on the negative then he's not going to be very happy...yes I think I'll do that. Any other suggestions?

  2. #2
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Too bad he isn't INTJ...

    I have a link that might help though,
    Personality Types Under Stress - INTP, INTJ, INFP, INFJ within Psychology at RIN.ru
    It's about how some of the introverted types deal with stress.

    Hope this helps.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    it is kinda hard to tell.

    i mean, he's an INTP. he's not gonna put up with pollyana-ish suggestions. SOmetimes people just are not ready to hear the positives. What do you think? do you think he is ready to hear your positive thoughts, or will he just dismiss you?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    If my experience generalizes to others', then there isn't much you can say because his struggle is with what his logic has concluded for him. His fight is not with how, but with why. I'm of the opinion you can't answer this for him or anyone else. Do continue to support however, because INTPs aren't REALLY robots (just seem like it at times) and do benefit from friends. If you know him IRL try taking him somewhere pleasant that's not too crowded

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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I've been living with an INTP for sixteen years and I have yet to feel confident that I could cheer him up. Sometimes I can gently poke fun at his over-the-top pessimism or get him talking about his pet theories. Mostly, though, I've just accepted that my guy is just kind of a sad clown. He's wired that way and it's not my place to tinker around in his head.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Could you guys help me out, please? I'm talking to a very depressed INTP at the moment and I was wondering if you guys could help me say something to make him feel better or help him out. I don't know if anything I say will help...he's just in that mode where he doesn't even want to try to be happy. I wonder if I should perhaps encourage him to get out and do stuff...right now he just stays at home alone a lot and surfs the net. Or perhaps remind him that if all he does is dwell on the negative then he's not going to be very happy...yes I think I'll do that. Any other suggestions?
    Why's he sad?

    I would just try to put a smile on his face. Don't shame him and tell him he NEEDS to do anything to FIX himself. That'll just make him feel worse. Just chat with him and crack him up. Watch a movie he might think is funny. Tell him a funny story. If he starts to put a smile on his face, see if he wants to go out and do something that doesn't require too much interaction. If he says no, don't make it into a big deal. Just act like it's normal and maybe you'll go out with him tomorrow. If he smells your agenda, he's going to resist your help.

  7. #7
    Just a statistic rhinosaur's Avatar
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    I would advise you to not try anything out of the ordinary. If you go out, ask him if he wants to join you. DO NOT PRESSURE HIM, but make sure he knows he is invited to join you if he desires. Telling him that there's something wrong and he needs to change is probably the worst thing you can do, as it would only push him further into oblivion.

    Seriously if he wants to be alone, let him be alone, but make sure he knows he is wanted.

  8. #8
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Make fun of other people's misfortune with him, that always perks me up.
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  9. #9
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Could you guys help me out, please? I'm talking to a very depressed INTP at the moment and I was wondering if you guys could help me say something to make him feel better or help him out. I don't know if anything I say will help...he's just in that mode where he doesn't even want to try to be happy. I wonder if I should perhaps encourage him to get out and do stuff...right now he just stays at home alone a lot and surfs the net. Or perhaps remind him that if all he does is dwell on the negative then he's not going to be very happy...yes I think I'll do that. Any other suggestions?
    For me?

    Back Off. Don't fix me.

    Try to be happy? "Do or do not... there is no try"

    Sorry, but I could no more try to be happy than try to fly.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Priam's Avatar
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    INTPs can go one of two ways when left to the dark side. We turn Emo: get overwhelmed by emotions that we cannot navigate, so instead we wallow like hippos in the ever-proverbial shit creek. This is an OK mode because eventually we get bored with all our sad sack music and feelings, just like everything else, and move on.

    The dangerous mode is Full On "I Am a Rock": Utter isolation from feelings, people and our own internal being. You want an emotional desolation? Check us out in this mode. It stems from (at least for me) a driving desire to not be here anymore, either due to sheer pain or the mindnumbing, soul-grinding tedium of life. Probably the MBTI description would be disconnecting from our Ne and using our Ti as an escape rather than as a filter.

    So what does that mean? In the first mode, if you're on good terms, a gently teasing person can make us realize how ridiculous we are. The second mode is harder, especially if they're far gone, but a good first step is always to turn his own analysis on himself: try to help him figure out why he sits on the net all the time. Why does he not feel happy? It's a tricky situation and it may honestly take a trained mental health professional to get him out of a rut, but you might be able to set him on a line of thought which leads to him concluding that he needs help.

    We're an independent, bristly lot. Anyone who plays the "buck up little camper" game on us is going to come away quite bruised! We must make the move to pull ourselves up and the most anyone else can do is help us see the path.
    "The subject chooses to sit in shadow and search for wisdom by reflecting upon his trial. The problem is not that he is cold and wet, but that cold and wet seems problematic, so he embraces those hardships in order to best them."

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