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Thread: Sad INTP

  1. #21
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Blue, I don't know if that's exactly the best advice. Depressed INTJ might need to get away from their imagination rather than dive right in -- or at least the imagination would need to be diverted significantly.
    That is true, when we are depressed we overindulge in our dominant function. To get out of this, we need to find balance. However, the INTJ needs to do at his own pace. As an introvert the motivation must come primarily from within. When he seems ready to move on to extroverted thinking, give him inspiration then, but not until.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  2. #22
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    He says he's not satisfied with his social life.
    What should I say back?

  3. #23
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    He says he's not satisfied with his social life.
    What should I say back?

    Well actually I already responded before and I think I just make things worse =( but I was wondering what to say if he brings it up again.
    "Wanna go to a movie or something?"
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  4. #24
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    That is true, when we are depressed we overindulge in our dominant function. To get out of this, we need to find balance. However, the INTJ needs to do at his own pace. As an introvert the motivation must come primarily from within. When he seems ready to move on to extroverted thinking, give him inspiration then, but not until.
    I think Hap is right, our (INTJs) imaginations often turn very dark and pessimistic while in depression. However, I still think the original advice BlueWing gave would work with an INTJ, it would be positive, however I think it could be better. Yes, engage our imaginations, but don't let go of our hand. The best would be subtle positive stimulation of our imaginations.

    However, the INTJ needs to do at his own pace. As an introvert the motivation must come primarily from within. When he seems ready to move on to extroverted thinking, give him inspiration then, but not until.
    Very well said.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
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  5. #25
    Senior Member Priam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    He says he's not satisfied with his social life.
    What should I say back?
    What Hap said, basically. We do not hint, we do not play games... you ask us what's wrong and, to the best of our ability and trust level, we tell you. End of story.

    He wants a social life. Ask him if he wants to do something with you. Preferably give him a small slate of options angled towards his interests that still gets him into the world and see if he takes you up on it.
    "The subject chooses to sit in shadow and search for wisdom by reflecting upon his trial. The problem is not that he is cold and wet, but that cold and wet seems problematic, so he embraces those hardships in order to best them."

  6. #26
    Senior Member Ishida's Avatar
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    INTJ

    INTJs' precision thinking and need for accuracy causes them to be inflexible at times. Having thought out a strategy, the INTJ may stubbornly disregard those who they think have not spent as much time reflecting on an idea as they have. This, along with their drive to produce something significant, can make them demanding and difficult. If their plans and solutions fall short of their high standards, INTJ's feel pressured - as if everything is on the line. "Everything," for an INTJ, is the competence and ability to produce something significant. Fear of not living up to this expectation will increase their stress and possibly dissuade them from risking or trying out their ideas. They may then find themselves thinking about ideas that do not have a meaningful or productive end.

    When stress increases, the INTJ can become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, which is not their strength, becomes increasingly difficult for them. Not trusting their own abilities, they become preoccupied with obsessive notions. The INTJ may then find themselves spending an inordinate amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, tempting absurdities, and feelings of worthlessness. Fearful of others recognizing their perceived failure, the INTJ incessantly ruminates about mistakes, inadequacies, weaknesses, ineptness, and incompetence. Because this distracts them from risking what little confidence they may have left in themselves, it therefore keeps them from obtaining the success and achievement they so desperately need.
    Interesting and even accurate.
    When I was sort of depressed, I started thinking not only of worthlessness and weakness of myself, but of everything. Pretty much thinking of nihilistic interpretation of atheism and that it may as well be true. People did not enjoy me..

    I'm like the only guy in the world who doesn't know an INTP in real life. I normally have to deal with a ISFJ, but I use cold logic to try and comfort her. ("I'm weak and suck at martial arts" in which I reply "Then let's practice so you'll get better!")
    What a waste of life..

  7. #27
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    I've been depressed about things, and I can attest to that description about "shooting
    things down" with logic when people try to help.
    I've been wondering how much depression ties in with Fi, especially since Beebe is reported to have tied it and anxiety with Fi's "integrity" issues:
    INFJ or INFP? a closer look

    So for an INTP, that would be shadow. I see there are also a couple of threads on ENFP's and depression, and from some descriptions, it sounds somewhat similar.
    I'm also wondering how much it has to do with Ni and Se. However, most other INTP's seem to have good use of these functions. However, in theory, in it's negative shadowy form, it creates a destructive loop that lends to feelings of worthlessness.
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  8. #28
    Junior Member finnegan's Avatar
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    Actually, the best advice I ever got was from a psychologist who didn't believe that SSRI's actually work as antidepressants. I was skeptical when he told me about his SSRI theory, but then he said that he believed depression was situational - when you get depressed, you're in a bad situation that you need to identify and get out of. After that meeting, I threw out the antidepressants that my family MD had given me (thanks for the 5 minute consultation & 30-pack of SSRIs), figured out why I was depressed (I was in the wrong job), made a plan to get out, and then acted on it. Even though I didn't get out of that job for another year, I wasn't depressed any more since I had a plan and was acting on it.

    I think the first thing to do is to get him out of the introspection loop by getting him to think why he's depressed, then working on a plan to change his situation. Once he starts thinking about the plan, the possibilities will open up for him and he'll let the other stuff go.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by finnegan View Post
    Actually, the best advice I ever got was from a psychologist who didn't believe that SSRI's actually work as antidepressants. I was skeptical when he told me about his SSRI theory, but then he said that he believed depression was situational - when you get depressed, you're in a bad situation that you need to identify and get out of. After that meeting, I threw out the antidepressants that my family MD had given me (thanks for the 5 minute consultation & 30-pack of SSRIs), figured out why I was depressed (I was in the wrong job), made a plan to get out, and then acted on it. Even though I didn't get out of that job for another year, I wasn't depressed any more since I had a plan and was acting on it.

    I think the first thing to do is to get him out of the introspection loop by getting him to think why he's depressed, then working on a plan to change his situation. Once he starts thinking about the plan, the possibilities will open up for him and he'll let the other stuff go.
    This actually connects to the theory that happiness can come, in large part, from a feeling of control. When we feel like we are the master of our fate it picks us up and feeling helpless or stuck makes us depressed. So when you decided to change jobs you took control and felt better. Your friend may feel like they can't do anything to change the way they feel and that would contribute to said feelings. I don't have any specific suggestions but anything that would make them feel like their decisions matter might help.
    Good luck
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by finnegan View Post
    Actually, the best advice I ever got was from a psychologist who didn't believe that SSRI's actually work as antidepressants. I was skeptical when he told me about his SSRI theory, but then he said that he believed depression was situational - when you get depressed, you're in a bad situation that you need to identify and get out of. After that meeting, I threw out the antidepressants that my family MD had given me (thanks for the 5 minute consultation & 30-pack of SSRIs), figured out why I was depressed (I was in the wrong job), made a plan to get out, and then acted on it. Even though I didn't get out of that job for another year, I wasn't depressed any more since I had a plan and was acting on it.

    I think the first thing to do is to get him out of the introspection loop by getting him to think why he's depressed, then working on a plan to change his situation. Once he starts thinking about the plan, the possibilities will open up for him and he'll let the other stuff go.
    Thanks for sharing that. Very useful way to think.

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