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Thread: Sad INTP

  1. #11
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Why's he sad?
    I have even a more basic question, why does she believe he is INTP? Did he disclose this or is this an ameteur reading from the poster? This doesn't sound like it's type related. It sounds as though the guy is suffering from depression (how acute or chronic may need to be determined). I think for now you may want to do some active listening and if trained, check for suicidal ideations.

    Otherwise he sounds like me on any given weekend after working in excess of 60 hours during the week.

  2. #12
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Does "buck up little camper" work on anyone?

    That's an incredibly elementary way of counseling someone.

    I'm dealing with an INTP in a depressed state and I'm basically ignoring her. I'd like to help but there's really nothing I can do. She basically uses her Ti to shoot down any suggestions or why something won't work or to justify and rationalize her behavior. I don't have any suggestions or success stories to give but I do sympathize with your plight.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by "?" View Post
    I have even a more basic question, why does she believe he is INTP? Did he disclose this or is this an ameteur reading from the poster? This doesn't sound like it's type related. It sounds as though the guy is suffering from depression (how acute or chronic may need to be determined). I think for now you may want to do some active listening and if trained, check for suicidal ideations.

    Otherwise he sounds like me on any given weekend after working in excess of 60 hours during the week.
    He says he's an INTP, I'm just going by what he says. He may well be an ISTP but if he thinks he's an INTP I'm inclined to think that he is because he knows the Myers Briggs well.

    And yes of course, being sad/depressed isn't type related. A lot of what I need to do is simply be a good friend which has nothing to do with type but there are some INTP-specific suggestions that I got that I'm definitely going to try because I think they might help.


    60 hours?! oh geez.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone. =)

  5. #15
    Just a statistic rhinosaur's Avatar
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    Is it headfonez?

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    If my experience generalizes to others', then there isn't much you can say because his struggle is with what his logic has concluded for him.
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I've been living with an INTP for sixteen years and I have yet to feel confident that I could cheer him up. Sometimes I can gentlypoke fun at his over-the-top pessimism or get him talking about his pet theories. Mostly, though, I've just accepted that my guy is just kind of a sad clown. He's wired that way and it's not my place to tinker around in hishead.
    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    If he smells your agenda, he's going to resist your help.
    Quote Originally Posted by Priam View Post

    The dangerous mode is Full On "I Am a Rock": Utter isolation from feelings, people and our own internal being. You want an emotional desolation? Check us out in this mode. It stems from (at least for me) a driving desire to not be here anymore, either due to sheer pain or the mindnumbing, soul-grinding tedium of life. Probably the MBTI description would be disconnecting from our Ne and using our Ti as an escape rather than as a filter.

    We're an independent, bristly lot. Anyone who plays the "buck up little camper" game on us is going to come away quite bruised! We must make the move to pull ourselves up and the most anyone else can do is help us see the path.
    Ive just quoted a few bits that stood out to me as an INTP and felt you should read them again. If your friend really is an INTP then chances are, you trying to help him is only pushing him further. He needs to work his life out by him self. He doesnt need to be working out why people are acting strangely around him, thats just distracting him from being able to work out his problems.

    I help my self when in times of trouble because no one else is capable of giving meaningful advise because they dont know my problem, because i cant voice it. I i dont tell them, because if i do it either comes out wrong or they misunderstand it, being open always goes tits up. I have worked out whats wrong way before anyone else even knows anything is wrong.

    So, if hes anything like me. He will have definately thought about it ALL, hes an INTP afterall? You dont need to influence his thoughts, you dont need to get him out of his house, just carry on as you would normally and most definately dont make a spectacle of him even if it seems he is doing so himself. Hes probably overcome much bigger problems by himself in the past without you even realising.

    You dont need to change him and he probably doesnt need to change. Just give him space to work things out. Dont use the advice on this thread to change him, use it to understand him.

  7. #17
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Could you guys help me out, please? I'm talking to a very depressed INTP at the moment and I was wondering if you guys could help me say something to make him feel better or help him out. I don't know if anything I say will help...he's just in that mode where he doesn't even want to try to be happy. I wonder if I should perhaps encourage him to get out and do stuff...right now he just stays at home alone a lot and surfs the net. Or perhaps remind him that if all he does is dwell on the negative then he's not going to be very happy...yes I think I'll do that. Any other suggestions?
    Leave him be. Make sure he has as much space as he requires.

    Occassionally check up on him. Once every few days, preferrably by email. Do not ask him how he is right off the bat. Instead, bring some ideas along, something to challenge his mind. Always mention his interests, especially impersonal projects he holds interest in.

    Do not engage in interpersonal conversations unless he initiates or clearly desires them at the point.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  8. #18
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    Leave him be. Make sure he has as much space as he requires.

    Occassionally check up on him. Once every few days, preferrably by email. Do not ask him how he is right off the bat. Instead, bring some ideas along, something to challenge his mind. Always mention his interests, especially impersonal projects he holds interest in.

    Do not engage in interpersonal conversations unless he initiates or clearly desires them at the point.
    I think that would work for INTJs as well.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  9. #19
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    I think that would work for INTJs as well.
    You can get a little bit more personal with an INTJ, but not too much more. And instead of appealing to strictly impersonal matters for the INTJ, you're best off engaging their imaginations.

    This is because the INTP is a dominant Thinking type, therefore favors impersonal endeavors most of all and disfavors interpersonal. INTJ is an intuitive type therefore favors endeavors of imagination most of all, and because Thinking is only secondary, it is not as intensely interested in impersonal matters as that of the INTP. Since Feeling is tertiary, instead of inferior, there is more tolerance for interpersonal matters.

    Since the dominant function of the INTJ is an information collecting faculty, it is obviously interested in the environment around the INTJ. However, since it is an introverted function, it is primarily concerned with how the environment relates to the subject and not how it is as a thing in itself. Hence the perception of the environment for the INTJ is often twisted and obfuscated in abstractions. Conspiracy theory often appeals to this type for this reason as the external world for the introvert is often deemed bad news and in this case the external world in question is the external environment (since the perceiving function is concerned primarily with the environment), secondly conspiracy theory is appealing to the INTJ because as Thinkers they tend to be mistrustful of the motives of people.

    So, how do you engage their imagination. Unlike NFs, literature, poetry and other arts may not fly as easily, you want intellectually stimulating ideas with a bent in favor of synthesis over analysis. Continental philosophy and political philosophy(especially concerning conspiracy theory) seem optimal.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  10. #20
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Blue, I don't know if that's exactly the best advice. Depressed INTJ might need to get away from their imagination rather than dive right in -- or at least the imagination would need to be diverted significantly.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

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