I am currently seeing an INTJ. I would somehow define our situation as NOT dating but going on dates.
Bearing in mind he's in his late 30s and hence have dated many people and is quite used to putting himself out there (dating websites and services) even though he's still reserved when it comes to approaching women.
He has told me that he's ready to settle down and start a family and definitely looking for THE ONE.
Like all INTJs, I suspect that he probably has some ridiculously high standards for THE ONE.
I feel that he has kinda ruled me out of the running. His reason being that I am not available (when we first met, I was discussing separation) but I have assured him many times that this is the least of our problem. Being intuitive, I am guessing there might be other reasons he's not willing to openly admit (I have a kid) or I don't match up to his standards, even to himself.
What I don't get is this. Why does he still want to hang out with me? Didn't most if not all of the NTs here say that they would not waste their time pursuing something they think is not what they want?
The aspects of our relationships has changed a few times over the last couple of months. Most recently, he said that he wants to pursue a meaningful ongoing r/s with me and cares deeply for me and has said a few times that he wants to make me happy. He also said that he has never had such deep, intelligent, emotional chats with anyone before and basically has never opened himself up this much to anyone before. He has also said that I am an amazing woman and that I would probably find someone before he does. He also made a long distanced call to me over NEW YEAR to have a quick chat. Needless to say, I was floored.
He knows that I have romantic feelings for him and he is worried that I would get hurt. That's quite plain to me that he's not seeing me in that way. But he is attracted to me and we have darn good sexual chemistry together.
He's very fond of asking me how I feel despite him not talking about how he feels. He's always the one to bring up discussing and re-defining our relationship and I'm going to have one of that again soon. I find it frankly exhausting. Because I am the one who talks more and I end up not knowing what he wants.
Some friends have told me that this is a typical selfish user that's just keeping me around for his pleasure. What do you all think?