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  1. #11
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    That sounds like a really good way to do it. I think my experience is something similar, and arises from the same sources. Feeling the unpleasant emotions is something I've had to get comfortable with in recent years, and so it comes with all the pent up stuff of the past which I haven't released.


    That's quite an informative ENFP/Fi perspective, and I can see how it would relate to your circumstances. I do hope things get better and you can be happy again.

    In response, I don't have a problem with depression, although anxiety is certainly an issue. I have no trouble feeling happy at least 90% of the time. I'm not aiming for neutrality or apathy, only being able to temporarily put things aside for as long as I have something to do; when I'm on my own in my own time I try to take the healthy approach and feel and release my emotions, and remove the causes by changing my negative beliefs and adopting a philosophical attitude. I think Lux hit the nail on the head as to how to deal with it for me at least; of course I'm still curious how others do it, and how it might differ with type.
    I had responded assuming you weren't under any medical pretenses like depression, but threw the disclaimer out there just in case.

    I am unsure of how you feel about things like conscious movements of yourself.. I ended up getting angry at everything because it was easier to deal with one emotion than it was several. If it hurt, I got angry instead.. sad or disappointing led to anger as well. It is harder to look weak and easily broken down if you're angry in comparison to those emotions. Over time, I pushed myself to control my anger with management techniques, meditation, etc. because being angry more often also means being not-so-happy more often. There's got to be a balance there.
    I also, frequently, watched shows or movies with awesome stoic people in them, and sometimes visualized them and attempted 'acting' as they would act in the movie. That helped a lot, especially with my overactive imagination. When I couldn't be that way for real, faking it helped a ton. It sort of became a game to me, to pretend to be so-and-so from blank show. It suits me well for short-term issues that I was not ready for.
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  2. #12
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    That sounds like a really good way to do it. I think my experience is something similar, and arises from the same sources. Feeling the unpleasant emotions is something I've had to get comfortable with in recent years, and so it comes with all the pent up stuff of the past which I haven't released.


    That's quite an informative ENFP/Fi perspective, and I can see how it would relate to your circumstances. I do hope things get better and you can be happy again.

    In response, I don't have a problem with depression, although anxiety is certainly an issue. I have no trouble feeling happy at least 90% of the time. I'm not aiming for neutrality or apathy, only being able to temporarily put things aside for as long as I have something to do; when I'm on my own in my own time I try to take the healthy approach and feel and release my emotions, and remove the causes by changing my negative beliefs and adopting a philosophical attitude. I think Lux hit the nail on the head as to how to deal with it for me at least; of course I'm still curious how others do it, and how it might differ with type.
    I had responded assuming you weren't under any medical pretenses like depression, but threw the disclaimer out there just in case.

    I am unsure of how you feel about things like conscious movements of yourself.. I ended up getting angry at everything because it was easier to deal with one emotion than it was several. If it hurt, I got angry instead.. sad or disappointing led to anger as well. It is harder to look weak and easily broken down if you're angry in comparison to those emotions. Over time, I pushed myself to control my anger with management techniques, meditation, etc. because being angry more often also means being not-so-happy more often. There's got to be a balance there.
    I also, frequently, watched shows or movies with awesome stoic people in them, and sometimes visualized them and attempted 'acting' as they would act in the movie. That helped a lot, especially with my overactive imagination. When I couldn't be that way for real, faking it helped a ton. It sort of became a game to me, to pretend to be so-and-so from blank show. It suits me well for short-term issues that I was not ready for.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I also, frequently, watched shows or movies with awesome stoic people in them, and sometimes visualized them and attempted 'acting' as they would act in the movie. That helped a lot, especially with my overactive imagination.
    I'm not sure what I'm looking for but this caught my eye as interesting. Would you talk a little about this experience when you actually felt like that, not so much when you were faking it for a short period.
    What was it like? Have you experienced it before? Could you give an example of a character in a movie?

  4. #14
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    I'm not sure what I'm looking for but this caught my eye as interesting. Would you talk a little about this experience when you actually felt like that, not so much when you were faking it for a short period.
    What was it like? Have you experienced it before? Could you give an example of a character in a movie?
    To give an example of using 'fake' acting and visualization to realize something very real:
    - Lara Croft, her house burned down in a video game right at the beginning.. instead of going to pieces, of mourning the possessions, she immediately got to work figuring out her next moves and tracked down the people she needed. I thought it was so cool she could just.. do that. I'm quite poor, always have been, so losing possessions was a big deal to me for a while. I didn't understand WHY she recovered so fast... even rich people have expensive things to lose... especially someone with so many one-of-a-kind treasures. I pretended to act like that when something happened to my stuff or something got stolen.. And I realized through pretending that they didn't matter that.. they really didn't. When my car was stolen and wrecked, I immediately went into action and made preparations for replacing it and was recovered from it within 3 days without breaking down emotionally at all. I didn't feel sad, or upset really.. I was just like "Oh shit! That sucks! Lets get to work."

    - When GI Jane came into my life, I used her situation a lot to visualize myself pushing through male oppressiveness and physical difficulties.. It helped me a lot during basic training.

    - I'm not a very seductive woman.. I'm not smooth, or graceful.. I picture attractive women sometimes when I need some inspiration on being a bit more out of my shell.

    Sometimes faking it really does get you through.. In basic, they tell you if you don't have motivation to fake motivation. You get over the top and sarcastic-like about it.. "YEAH!! RUNNING LETS GO EVERYONE!" Even though you're dreading it.. but you can't help but sort of take on that persona even if it is fake and maybe even absurd. It's not for every situation.. but it helps when I need it to help.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  5. #15
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Anyway; panic, stress, anxiety, etc., sadness, loneliness, and whatever feelings are associated with lack and incompetence really interfere with my ability to do my job and schoolwork sometimes, and I'd really like it if there was some trick to being able to effectively ignore them long enough to get things done.

    I wondered what the experience of NT's is in particular with regard to dealing with emotions at inopportune times, and how you do it.
    I will describe several circumstances relevant to your question.

    1. On very rare occasion, I just cannot prevent an emotional state from interfering with my work. Then I do not work. I get away from any responsibilities or obligations as soon as possible, and allow the emotion to dissipate enough to resume normal activities.

    2. Acute emotional states, for instance brought on by a sudden piece of bad news, are fairly easy to set aside by focusing on practical matters: getting all the pertinent details, taking whatever action is appropriate, much as Kyuuei described. If this action does not itself dissipate the state, giving it space and attention at a later time usually does.

    3. Chronic emotional states are a bit harder to deal with as they can slowly start to color my attitude without my realizing it. I will usually note some drop in productivity or other anomalous work pattern, and quickly be able to trace it back to some interfering emotional state, perhaps worry or even transient depression. It often takes just a few minutes to identify the cause of the emotion, then it is back to fact-gathering and taking any necessary action. Often this is more of a long-term solution than what is required in the more acute cases.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    - Lara Croft, her house burned down in a video game right at the beginning.. instead of going to pieces, of mourning the possessions, she immediately got to work figuring out her next moves and tracked down the people she needed.
    This is so fascinating! To listen to an ENFP describe how she is experiencing her Te. The role models you find to admire and emulate.

    It's a function that comes later in life so it probably feels like "something" rather than "me, this who I am". I believe I am witnessing the assimilation of a tert function in your description; the processing of "adopting" it as "a part of who I am".

    Thanks! I've always wanted to see Ti (what the OP is describing) in an ENFP but maybe it feels too foreign to most ENFPs to admit it's a part of them Te works just fine though. I'm excited!
    Good luck in your career!

  7. #17
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    I'm posting this thread here because NT's are supposed to mostly not be emotional, or at least usually have good control over their emotions. If I'm wrong about this, please correct.
    .....

    Anyway; panic, stress, anxiety, etc., sadness, loneliness, and whatever feelings are associated with lack and incompetence really interfere with my ability to do my job and schoolwork sometimes, and I'd really like it if there was some trick to being able to effectively ignore them long enough to get things done.

    I wondered what the experience of NT's is in particular with regard to dealing with emotions at inopportune times, and how you do it.
    Ignoring emotions is not something I try to do. They fuel my passion, drive, determination, a sense of urgency to get things done, caring for others, desire to get along, etc. On the negative emotions - anxiety, anger, fear, guilt, frustration, embarrassment, sadness and things like that, I try to channel them to productive ends. For the most part, it works pretty well. Grief is the one thing that I experienced that is very difficult to channel towards productive ends. I have learned that Enneagram 6s tend to be more emotionally expressive than other types of INTJs and so what I experience or do may not be typical of other NTs.

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  8. #18
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    This is so fascinating! To listen to an ENFP describe how she is experiencing her Te. The role models you find to admire and emulate.

    It's a function that comes later in life so it probably feels like "something" rather than "me, this who I am". I believe I am witnessing the assimilation of a tert function in your description; the processing of "adopting" it as "a part of who I am".

    Thanks! I've always wanted to see Ti (what the OP is describing) in an ENFP but maybe it feels too foreign to most ENFPs to admit it's a part of them Te works just fine though. I'm excited!
    Good luck in your career!
    Yes, very interesting! I think I do that too. I've always thought that kind of getting into other people's heads was Fe, but I suppose since you do it it must be in the realm of Fi as well.

    As to tert Ti in the OP: When I am upset or stressed I always ask myself what the underlying thoughts and beliefs are, such as "The boss is annoyed with me" or "I'm going to make a mistake sooner or later" or "I won't have time to get everything done" and then ask myself whether those things are true. Almost every time I'm unconsciously believing things which aren't necessarily true or are exaggerated, and I tell myself that, and then tell myself what is true, and that helps me calm down. I overthink things, but yet that's the way I solve my problems most of the time. I call it giving myself a reality check. Sometimes it helps me solve really complex issues, like being scared of physical intimacy for unidentifiable reasons; I figured out a lot of things about that by being superanalytical, such as I had the underlying belief that if I let someone's energy into myself that it would stay there and they would take some of mine and then we wouldn't be ourselves anymore. Which is kinda crazy, and if I recognize that I can give myself a reality check and find out what the truth is, and then react in a different way.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    I'm posting this thread here because NT's are supposed to mostly not be emotional, or at least usually have good control over their emotions. If I'm wrong about this, please correct.

    I wondered what the experience of NT's is in particular with regard to dealing with emotions at inopportune times, and how you do it.
    Yep you're wrong about that. I am a highly emotional being I just express it inside out as it were. Which makes me particularly susceptible to depression and mental loops as my frustration, anger what have you doesn't have an external outlet. My freakish ability to not get upset outwardly creeps my coworkers out as they cannot seem to find my resemblence to humanity... The other side of the competence swords is when others think of you as machine-like in your ability to perform and therefore cut you no slack whatsoever when you have less than a stellar day. I am frequently held to higher standards and accountability than my coworkers and actually that pisses me off no-end. I am a fair minded person and I think the standards I am held to should be the same as others so I can exceed them if I wish but am not compelled to. Anyway I digress.

    My trick is always to withdraw when I feel the rage building, find an excuse to have a cup of tea, rail at the universe with my mind and come back fake and competent. I just file it in my 'get that shit done later' inbox and use distraction to do something else. It's not I don't have emotions it's that I have a method of detaching from them momentarily for the sake of convenience. My desire for completion of my rant is still there but I can delegate it to another time slot. But then again, sorting, delegating and pidgeon-holing is how I go about my day anyway. Although I'm constantly driven to completion, the simple act of mentally assigning a time slot to a task is a kind of completion in itself and satisfies in the moment.

    You sound like the way I get when I forget to do my mental sort and delegate. When I've just got a 100 things on my to do list and none of them have been prioritised. I'm allergic to clutter, especially mental clutter and I do experience heightened anxiety and manic states when I've not done my mental house cleaning.

  10. #20
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    Like a cheetah, you're built for it or not.
    This. It's just innate.

    Sorry.
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