I told every single one of them to fuck off. The whole family blew up, I locked myself in a room and now I'm contemplating suicide. Going to be 25 in couple months, guess I'm worthless for not moving out when I was 18 and live on my own. I never asked to be born, they have given me so much shit growing up. Never raised me properly and I have to deal with my mental conditions which they just assume I'm insane. I will create drama and stay put till they call the police and kick me out(I think my family is too pussy though cause they know they'll never see me again if they do). From than I don't even know where to stay, I'm sure they have shelter for homeless or something but what's the point of it all? If they kick me out I'll be out with no friends and I will never speak to my family again, no skills, unattractive, depressed why the hell would I go on? For some reason I'm not really bothered emotionally, I just accepted the current situation and waiting it out.
Even if they let me stay, what the hell is the point? Do I live with them like a loser till I'm 30? 40? Lord knows I can't keep a normal job or do anything right. I must be 1 out of 10,000 to fail this hard at life.
Please don't take this out on yourself. Feeling the way you're feeling now isn't your fault and you deserve help, not judgment, especially from yourself. So many people are still at home with their families long past age 18. I am still at home too, and feel the sociocultural pressure of it being "shameful", but the more people I talk to, the more I understand that it's reality of the current economy more than a sign of personal failure. You're not worthless and you're not without hope, and there are many people in the world who would like to help you improve your situation right now. Mental illness carries an unfair stigma of being a personal issue, but it's just like any other medical condition that needs treatment and care. I know how it can feel when you're depressed - like there's just no point to it all - but there are so many things to live for, starting with the simplest sensual pleasures like taking hot showers, eating good food, and curling up in a warm, soft bed at night, all the way to the most significant pleasures of fulfilling your life's hopes and dreams. You deserve to enjoy all of these things.
SJs are steady and dependable, but it's true that sometimes they have difficulty choosing to interpret something in a new light. Your family may be stuck seeing your mental condition as self-perpetuated, non-biological, or not as serious as it clearly is, and they may need help coming to terms with it as a serious medical issue that deserves serious medical attention. Please do try calling the number @
DisneyGeek posted, or A Place of Hope's depression line at 1-888-771-5166 (I think they operate during standard business hours) - they should be able to help give you options for how to proceed with getting real treatment for yourself, and how to get your family up to speed with getting you help. The really good thing about SJs is they are usually surprisingly open to concrete evidence, and as an INTP, you have a decent skill for amassing that. If you can present your family with a factual list of the problems you are having and how you can proceed with getting help, they should respond positively.
Regardless, again, don't take this out on yourself. You're not a failure at life - you've been dealt a very difficult hand and you're doing what you can to cope with it. The best thing you can do is try to use people as your allies instead of your enemies. Ask for help instead of creating drama. If they don't want to help you, try other people. There is a better future for you and people who will help get you there. I know it's hard, but you have to reach out first. Please try, if not just for you then for everyone who's ever felt the way you do now, because so many people have and do. You're not alone and there is plenty of hope.
