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  1. #11
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Tbh, my intuition is telling me that it might be best you do not get past friendship.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  2. #12
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    Rightey ho.

    I have taken your intuition's evaluation into consideration even though I am unfamiliar with its credentials.

  3. #13
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    About the Three parts..? Mind, Emotion and Sex? Mind is the same as emotion, for me. I mean if you're passionate about intellectual things then it's pretty much the same thing. Maybe the problem is like objectifying you, treating you as a source of satisfying a value instead of you being valued directly.

    That, I get, but then I think that anyone could value anything or anyone overtime. The "emotion" aspect of the three is the easiest to find. but then i'm biased, i can relate to the guy a bit. either way, value is arbitrary.
    A search for truth is a search for a greedy perspective.

    Nah, that's not truth. That's just your bullshit ideas of truth. Truth is always inclusive. If it's not inclusive, then toughen it up and try harder.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft View Post
    either way, value is arbitrary.
    Could you expand on this?

    Perhaps when I'm looking at emotional connection it's not even merely about whether someone has emotions or not. There's something about people's baseline emotional tenor and how that moves and breathes with life. The highs and lows that you experience remodels you. I find I have differing emotional connections with a person who grew up with nary a worry, with a person who has known deep pain, and with a person who has known pain and redemption. It's something to do with the way life resonates with you.

    Part of this might be related to age... he's 23 and I'm 28. He also hasn't been in a relationship before.

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Whatever you decide to do...be careful with his heart. He showed some real guts coming up to you like that and opening up and if he hasn't had much practice with this kind of stuff yet...it would be a definite plus if his experience with this, while learning how all of this works, would not leave any scars and potentially even be a positive one. Both for him, you and whatever girl (be it you or someone else) that ends up being 'the One' for him
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #16
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    It wasnt me ! I was at a friends home at said time, I have an alibi !!
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Whatever you decide to do...be careful with his heart. He showed some real guts coming up to you like that and opening up and if he hasn't had much practice with this kind of stuff yet...it would be a definite plus if his experience with this, while learning how all of this works, would not leave any scars and potentially even be a positive one. Both for him, you and whatever girl (be it you or someone else) that ends up being 'the One' for him
    I agree... I was impressed with the open and respectful way he laid everything out there. I would like for it to be positive as well.

    I will try to be careful but I'm worried about not succeeding because I'm not 100% confident about dealing with the NT heart. I've underestimated it before.

  8. #18
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lingerer View Post
    I agree... I was impressed with the open and respectful way he laid everything out there. I would like for it to be positive as well.

    I will try to be careful but I'm worried about not succeeding because I'm not 100% confident about dealing with the NT heart. I've underestimated it before.

    Suggestion: be equally honest with him, the way you have been with us.

    If he does not require an instant answer, refrain from giving him one atm and spend time with him to give you the additional info you need. I know first hand that often the first impression you have of a man does not have to dictate your attraction to him, though granted, 90 percent of the time it does. Often, when you get to be alone with him however, you see a side of him that can be quite surprising and in some cases completely change your attraction/perspective on him.

    If you however already know fairly certain that there *is* no attraction, nor will there ever be one, then be honest with him and gently inform him what you've told us. Make it clear that this is not a rejection of his person, and that you were absolutely flattered and awe-stricken by his galant and honest confession, but that you do not want to string him along in hopes of something that may never come. As much as you wish you wouldn't have to bear him this news, you do feel it is only fair that you are equally honest and respectful of him and his feelings as he was of yours.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Suggestion: be equally honest with him, the way you have been with us.

    If he does not require an instant answer, refrain from giving him one atm and spend time with him to give you the additional info you need. I know first hand that often the first impression you have of a man does not have to dictate your attraction to him, though granted, 90 percent of the time it does. Often, when you get to be alone with him however, you see a side of him that can be quite surprising and in some cases completely change your attraction/perspective on him.

    If you however already know fairly certain that there *is* no attraction, nor will there ever be one, then be honest with him and gently inform him what you've told us. Make it clear that this is not a rejection of his person, and that you were absolutely flattered and awe-stricken by his galant and honest confession, but that you do not want to string him along in hopes of something that may never come. As much as you wish you wouldn't have to bear him this news, you do feel it is only fair that you are equally honest and respectful of him and his feelings as he was of yours.
    Thanks. I will do my best. Your reminder has made me think of some of the things he's told me about himself that he hasn't told anyone else except his best friend. Although I may not have felt emotional intimacy with him I think he may have been trying.

  10. #20
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Suggestion: be equally honest with him, the way you have been with us.

    If he does not require an instant answer, refrain from giving him one atm and spend time with him to give you the additional info you need. I know first hand that often the first impression you have of a man does not have to dictate your attraction to him, though granted, 90 percent of the time it does. Often, when you get to be alone with him however, you see a side of him that can be quite surprising and in some cases completely change your attraction/perspective on him.

    If you however already know fairly certain that there *is* no attraction, nor will there ever be one, then be honest with him and gently inform him what you've told us. Make it clear that this is not a rejection of his person, and that you were absolutely flattered and awe-stricken by his galant and honest confession, but that you do not want to string him along in hopes of something that may never come. As much as you wish you wouldn't have to bear him this news, you do feel it is only fair that you are equally honest and respectful of him and his feelings as he was of yours.
    I like to oppose the theory that when he gets the brush-off he cant be entp !
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